Minako: Warrior, Princess, Sidekick
The Director's Cut (version 2.0)

Chapter One:
Aphrodite

     A SMALL VILLAGE NEAR ATHENS, EARTH'S "MYTHICAL ERA"
     
     Two years spent travelling with Xena broadened Gabrielle in ways 
     she could never have imagined. Now she found herself standing 
     back-to-back with the raven-haired warrior as they fought off a 
     seeming army of raiders, intent on pillaging this innocent 
     village.
     
     Gabrielle spun her staff and cracked one bandit in the head, 
     taking him down, bloodlessly. She abhorred bloodshed, but she had 
     come to grips with the necessity of limited violence, in its 
     place.
     
     Truth be told, violence came a lot easier to her ever since her 
     husband of only one day had been murdered by Callisto. Only Xena's 
     intervention had kept her from giving in to rage and killing 
     Callisto herself, which was what Callisto wanted: to see Gabrielle 
     give into her own darker side. But, although she resisted the 
     impulse, she now knew that potential was there. 
     
     The bandits routed, Xena turned to her and frowned. "Gabrielle! 
     You weren't paying attention! That'll get you killed in a fight."
     
     Gabrielle blinked. "Oh, sorry Xena." 
     
     Xena shook her head and walked off to tend to an injured villager. 
     She had no idea that Gabrielle's occasional flighty lapses were 
     actually caused by deeper, more disturbing thoughts; and 
     truthfully, if she did, she wouldn't care because either way, 
     Gabrielle wasn't paying enough attention during the melee and it 
     could have gotten her killed.
     
     Gabrielle followed after Xena, intent on providing whatever help 
     she could. 
     
     MEANWHILE, ON MOUNT OLYMPUS . . . 
     
     Zeus was looking over the battlefield. He'd heard things from the 
     other Gods about this woman, Xena. Ares' claims he dismissed; 
     Hades' rumblings he ignored; Poseidon's demands he repudiated; and 
     Aphrodite's whinings he blocked out with ear plugs made of moly. 
     But only a few months ago, his son had given up his partial 
     godhood for love of the woman Serena, who had been the last Golden 
     Hind. And while the fight with Ares' lacky Strife had been a 
     crashing failure for the now-mortal Hercules, Zeus had been 
     astonished that in his favorite son's hour of need, his former 
     lover Xena and her follower Gabrielle, had shown up and executed a 
     convoluted plan to expose Ares' machinations. And, frankly, the 
     way she yelled at Ares had been rather heartwarming. No, there was 
     something special about this one alright, something about the way 
     that Ares "coddled" her. He had his suspicions about the reason 
     for that but he wasn't about to confront his arrogant son.
     
     He had a larger problem. He could sense a stirring in the ether, 
     caused by two mortals who had obtained ambrosia, and with it 
     godhood. They were both madwomen, and as goddesses were even more 
     of a threat to everyone around them than they had ever been 
     before. The amazon Velasca and the warlord Callisto had both been 
     encased in a lava flow by Xena, but time had passed and both were 
     now stronger. Strong enough to break free. And perhaps, since she 
     had been instrumental in *causing* the problem, Xena would be the 
     one who could deal with it for him? 
     
     If he could just arrange a little help for her, she might be just 
     the agent he needed. It was inappropriate for the Gods to fight; 
     even though Velasca had already destroyed one of Artemis' temples, 
     she truly hadn't done enough to invite direct reprisal. Yet. But 
     it wasn't Velasca that Zeus was worried about. She had dreams to 
     supplant Artemis, yes. But Artemis could deal with her when the 
     time came. It was Callisto. She lived only to deal out pain. And 
     it was forbidden for the Gods to take innocent mortal lives. The 
     law was broken from time to time of course; but those 
     trasgressions paled in comparison to what Zeus expected Callisto 
     to do.
     
     Callisto burned with her pain and she would continue to lash out 
     at everything and everyone around her. She'd kill and kill to make 
     Xena crazed with remorse. As a dead mortal, she had been cast into 
     Tartarus, but Hera had resurrected her and given her an 
     opportunity for immortality, which she seized. Now she was a 
     goddess as well, and though a goddess raised from mortality would 
     be weaker than an Olympian-born, she would gain power from her 
     madness. It might take hundreds or even thousands of mortal deaths 
     before the other Gods would allow him to censure her; and then at 
     a price. Besides, even if he banished her to Tartarus, the bitch 
     might just climb out armed with the power of the banished Titans.
     
     Zeus suddenly stopped his musings and smiled. 'Ah,' he thought, 
     'the power of the Titans.' 
     
     Zeus's smile broadened. He knew what he needed to do and who could 
     do it for him. It was time to cheat.
     
     "Aphrodite!" he called. There was a scintillating blast of golden 
     light and the sultry blonde diva appeared amidst a shower of rose 
     petals in red and white, wearing diaphanous pink robes. Well, 
     robes was a bit generous. Nightgown might have been more correct.
     
     "Like, what, Oh Mighty Overlord and King of the Gods? Say, them 
     are some bitchin' threads you're wearin' today. Been to Persia 
     recently?" she said pointing at his godly robes.
     
     "Aphrodite," he said, starting to regret his plan already. "You've 
     met Xena."
     
     "And her annoying little blond sidekick," said the goddess of 
     Passion, the 80's, Valley-speak, and Big Mall Hair. "Imagine, 
     breaking vases in my temple to get my attention? Who does the 
     little bimbette think she is, the Pink Ranger?!?" She pouted 
     cutely, hands on her hips, the pale pink cloak over her robes 
     billowing fetchingly in the non-existent breeze. 
     
     Zeus looked at her blankly. It was really annoying that thanks to 
     her direct parentage from Uranus (thanks to his father, Chronos), 
     this third-rate goddess had time travel powers like no one else in 
     the Pantheon. Forbidden powers they all shared, yes, and probably 
     all used secretly, but she was the most skilled and powerful of 
     them all at traversing the timestream.
     
     The Victoria's Secret catalogs prooved it.
     
     "I wish you would . . . oh nevermind. I have something for you."
     
     "A present?!" she squealed. "What is it, Pop?!"
     
     Zeus winced. "Ah, yes, that rumor we have about you being my 
     daughter. Well, let's remember your true origins, shall we?"
     
     "Uhoh," she said, deflating. "You've got a job for me don't you." 
     Zeus nodded in reply and she started to pout. "You are, like, so 
     totally no-fun that it's scary. The mortals ought to make you the 
     God of Boring-ness."
     
     "Ah, but I don't just have a task for you. I also have a 
     compliment."
     
     "Oh? What? That I'm the prettiest goddess? That I have the best 
     fashion sense? The coolest temples? I know all that." She tossed 
     her hair and turned partially away.
     
     "That you're the cleverest, most conniving sneak on Olympus, 
     smarter than Athena, sneakier than Hera, and bitchier than 
     Artemis," he said matter-of-factly.
     
     Aphrodite stopped her bubbling and looked at Zeus. In a more level 
     voice she said, "Oh, this has got to be bad . . . "
     
     Zeus smiled wryly, "The Pantheon has need for your wits Aphrodite. 
     I'm merely selecting the right goddess for the job. And if you 
     repeat the compliment, I'll deny it."
     
     Aphrodite sat down on a couch that appeared beneath her. "Well, go 
     on, old man. I'm listening now."
     
     "The neonate goddesses, Velasca and Callisto, are about to break 
     free and go on a bloody rampage. I want them stopped."
     
     Aphrodite shot him a look of disbelief. "Oh, you have, like, GOT 
     to be kidding me!" she said, laughing. "Like I'd pick a fight with 
     those wenches! Callisto especially, running around in her little 
     dominatrix outfit!"
     
     "Actually, I wanted you to get Xena to deal with them for me."
     
     Aphrodite paused, and looked at Zeus, her mouth forming an 'oh' of 
     surprise for a moment before she continued. "You mean you want me 
     to put her up to it and help her a little?"
     
     In the corner, the three fates had stopped their work for a moment 
     and were watching the two Gods. Lachesis had taken out her ruler 
     and was preparing to adjust the mark on it.
     
     Zeus stalked towards the Great Portal at the summit of the 
     platform atop Olympus. "I want you to help Xena to get her hands 
     on the Scythe of Chronos."
     
     "NO! You mustn't!" cried Hades, materializing out of nowhere. He 
     was definitely hurried, as he hadn't taken the time to slick back 
     his hair, put on black armor, and make his face pale for that 
     'skeletal' look. End result: he was looking very alive, fairly 
     handsome, and not fearsome at all (as Persephone preferred). He 
     held his helmet of invisibility in the crook of his arm.
     
     Aphrodite giggled at his alarm and his slightly disheveled 
     appearance.
     
     Zeus turned around, taken aback. "What were you doing listening in 
     here?" he asked in a dangerous voice of his youngest brother. 
     "This is not your place."
     
     "That scythe can slay a God! That makes it my business! Xena has 
     had bad dealings with several of us, what if she takes it into her 
     head to come killing Gods?!?"
     
     "You've been reading way too much Saberhagen again," commented 
     Aphrodite wryly. 
     
     Zeus haughtily commented, "Well, if Ares gets involved in the fray 
     I suppose she might dispatch him; they have been enemies in the 
     past. Still, he has done her at least one good turn in restoring 
     her to her proper body. Something, which I might add, you might 
     have done yourself." Zeus looked his youngest brother over 
     consideringly. "You, I think, she does not like." 
     
     "Mortals aren't supposed to like death," said Hades petulantly.
     
     "Xena likes Thanatos, or Celesta as she prefers, more than she 
     does you. And Celesta is the embodiment of death. Face it Hades, 
     you've been a perfect ass to her on several occasions." Aphrodite 
     said with scorn.
     
     Hades scowled.
     
     "Aphrodite . . . born of Uranus by the stroke of Chronos' scythe, 
     you alone among the Gods--other than myself, as his heir, of 
     course--are immune to its deadly touch. For this reason alone, 
     only you may safely guide Xena to it. No mortal can be trusted to 
     such power. The rest of us will withdraw for a short time to 
     confer about other Godly matters and leave you to your work."
     
     Zeus entered the great portal and disappeared.
     
     Hades was staring at her. "You're immune to the scythe?" he asked 
     in what might have been a "small" voice.
     
     She put her hands on her hips. "You betcha. Are you starting to 
     buy into that myth we circulated among the mortals, that I'm Zeus' 
     daughter?" she chuckled. "Come to think of it, I think Herc thinks 
     it's true too! Then again, it's kinda cool having the big lug as a 
     brother . . . "
     
     "So you could have grabbed the scythe and used it anytime you 
     wanted to," he pressed.
     
     "Well . . . yes, I suppose so," she said. "But killing and 
     fighting is not my thing. I'm the Goddess of Love remember??"
     
     "With the power of that scythe behind you, you could depose Hera 
     and make yourself Queen of the Gods. If you wanted to."
     
     "I don't," she said, scowling, with eyes flashing in anger. Hades 
     was getting uncomfortably close to the truth of her origins: she 
     was an incarnation of a force that predated even the Titans. "That 
     old buzzard! Like, I can't believe what a mess he just dropped 
     into my lap!! Hey, Hades, where the hell do you think you're 
     going, mister?!?"
     
     Hades, who had been turning away and about to teleport back into 
     the realm of the dead, paused.
     
     "You want my help, don't you," he scowled.
     
     "Well, for one thing, that damnned weapon can't be wielded by a 
     normal mortal," she began. "Though Xena had a touch of Ambrosia on 
     her lips to revive her once, so she should be able to. If not, 
     maybe Ares has given her a little something extra . . . but if 
     they need help, I'm not sure who I can bring in. I'm not getting 
     my baby, Cupid, anywhere near it!"
     
     "You want me to provide another champion? I can't release anyone 
     else out of the underworld for Xena."
     
     "Then, I guess you'd better FIND someone to be your *personal* 
     champion and do it toot-sweet, honey, because I'm not sure that 
     even Xena armed with the power of the Titans is going to be able 
     to deal with Callisto *and* Velasca."
     
     Hades paused, and looked thoughtful. "Awaken my personal 
     champion?" He paused to consider for a moment and then glanced 
     over at the Fates and back to Aphrodite. "Perhaps . . . I do know 
     where I might find a champion." He looked at her. "But I may need 
     just a little bit of your help to bring her into play."
     
     Aphrodite waved dismissively and cracked her bubblegum. "What-
     ever! Just be ready if and when I yell for backup, ok?!?"
     
     Hades nodded once; he turned and looked at the Fates, smiled 
     slightly, and then vanished in a dark cascade of smoke. Aphrodite 
     sighed like an injured diva and stalked away.
     
     The three fates turned back to the tapestry. Lachesis handed 
     Clotho a green thread. The spinner attached a ball of thread to it 
     and handed it back to Lachesis. The measurer wove it into the 
     tapestry as far as the tapestry went at the moment and tossed the 
     remaining ball of thread up to the top of the wall where just a 
     very few other thread balls were sitting. Atropos scowled and 
     looked disappointed. Then she bent forward to examine another 
     thread. This one was golden and appeared in the tapestry out of 
     nowhere fully formed. She followed it with her eyes as its color 
     dimmed to yellow, in particular after it became entwined with a 
     strong black thread. She looked at it very closely. Both threads 
     suddenly looked to her like she might be cutting them soon.
     
     BACK AT THE VILLAGE. . . 
     
     Xena walked into a run-down inn. The attack on the village had 
     been scarcely an hour before, but already some of the warriors 
     hired by the townfolk to protect them were sitting in the bar, 
     well on their way to being drunk. Xena sneered at them as she 
     entered. At the least they could have gone out on quick patrol 
     around the village to make sure all the attackers were gone before 
     coming in here and getting sloshed. She, on the other hand, just 
     needed to wet her parched throat and then she'd be back among the 
     survivors, rendering what first aid she  could. 
     
     She pulled up a seat at the bar. By the odor, she could tell that 
     an *extremely* drunk man who hadn't washed in days was approaching 
     her. "Your best," she said in a commanding tone to the bartender. 
     
     "Hey baby, you look so fine in that black leather armor. I bet you 
     look better out of it!" he said. Xena only understood him because 
     she had learned to understand slurred speech over the years. She 
     casually reached out for a torch with her left hand and slammed a 
     mouthful of the alcohol back with her right. She figured it was a 
     little weak but should do the trick.
     
     She turned to the drunkard and put the torch in front of her face. 
     His eyes widened appreciatively -- until she sprayed alcohol at 
     him over the torch flame, igniting it in a jet of flame.
     
     He yelled very loudly and ran for the door, beating at his beard 
     as if it were on fire. On retrospect, Xena decided she *should* 
     have hit him with the flame. If she had, he might have gone and 
     soaked himself and then, at least, he'd have a bath.
     
     She tested the flavor of the drink on her tongue. It wasn't bad 
     for where she was. "I'll have another," she said to the bartender. 
     
     She sipped her drink and thought back over the day's fighting. She 
     thought about Gabrille's distraction in combat and her smile froze 
     and faded.  She enjoyed the thrill of battle, especially now that 
     she could pick fights for worthy causes, but Gabrielle was 
     bothering her again. She loved the woman as the sister she never 
     had, but for all Gabrielle's courage, she worried that someday the 
     woman's inattentiveness would get her killed in battle.  That some 
     blow would fall that Xena couldn't stop.  But, if she sent 
     Gabrielle away, who would help her keep her dark side in check?  
     Truth be told, Gabrielle was a part of the "warrior princess" 
     fighting for good.  The Xena who looked out on the world was 
     something of both of them, and without . . . 
     
     She was still worrying when she stepped out of the tavern. "Penny 
     for your thoughts?" asked a cheeful, yet mocking voice.
     
     "A what?!?" asked Xena looking up and pulling her sword.  Her 
     senses hadn't detected anyone walking up that close to her. When 
     she saw who had appeared by the door, she nearly groaned in 
     dismay.
     
     "Aphrodite.  What do you want?" she asked.
     
     Aphrodite put on a sweet face, took a deep breath . . . and 
     suddenly exhaled. "Argh! Look, I don't have time for playing the 
     usual games! Here's the deal: Callisto and Velasca are breaking 
     free, like," Aphrodite paused and consulted her digital pager, 
     "anywhere from tomorrow morning to about an hour from now.  
     Certain parties up on good ole' Mount Olympus have decided that 
     the best way to deal with them is to help you get the means to 
     kill them.  So, we're on a quest as of now.  Are we clear on 
     this?" 
     
     Xena stiffened at the presumption Aphrodite made of her.  "What 
     power? What are you talking about?"
     
     Aphrodite looked at her. "It's a secret of the Gods," she said, 
     "An artifact of the Titans, the--"
     
     "Scythe of Chronos!" exclaimed Xena.  Aphrodite's eyes nearly 
     popped out.
     
     "Hidden in a cave in the side of the cliff that is the final fall 
     into the endless abyss that is Tartarus itself!" she continued.
     
     Aphrodite blinked.  "Hercules must talk an awful lot in his sleep.  
     I really must talk to Hypnos and Morpheus about that."
     
     Xena smiled cunningly. "So, you want me to go to the edge of 
     Tartarus, get the Scythe, and kill two new goddesses with it?"
     
     Aphrodite smiled smarmily. "Congratulations, you win the prize for 
     quick witds. Now you and whats-er-name--"
     
     "Gabrielle!"
     
     "Right. You need to get to the lake and get into Hades' realm."
     
     Xena shook her head at Aphrodite's babbling.  Just then, up walked 
     Gabrielle.  "Xena, who are you talking to?" she asked, Aphrodite 
     being invisible to her.
     
     "Nevermind, we have to go to Lake Avernus," replied Xena, talking 
     over her shoulder.  
     
     "Avernus? The gateway into Hades' realm?  What have the Gods got 
     you up to this time?" asked Gabrielle plaintively.
     
     Xena started to make an airy comment, but then her smile froze and 
     cracked.  "Callisto's about to tear free.  I've got to stop her.  
     You stay here, Gabrielle and I'll . . . "
     
     "Wait, wait, I've got a better idea," said Gabrielle. "If Callisto 
     is breaking free, then that means Velasca is too.  That means I 
     have to warn Ephiny and the Amazons right away."
     
     "You're right, of course," Xena said in her most concerned voice.  
     "Gabrielle, I'm sorry . . . I forget sometimes that I'm not the 
     only one with enemies anymore." Gabrielle looked pensive, and 
     glanced away, at the ground.
     
     "Velasca's probably going for Artemis' largest temple first," 
     commented Aphrodite. "The main one near Hellespont." 
     
     Without pausing, Xena continued on. "We know Callisto will come 
     after me wherever I go; But last time, Velasca attacked a temple 
     of Artemis on the way after us.  For her, the Amazons will keep--
     she wants to deal with Artemis.  Her largest temple is beside 
     Hellespont. I think she'll go there first and attack it.  If not 
     first, then soon. It would be a good place to spring a trap, but 
     you have to get the priests and shrine visitors safely warned and 
     away."
     
     Gabrielle nodded.  She liked the 'evacuate the helpless innocents' 
     job; she did it well and she didn't crimp Xena's style while doing 
     it. "Sounds like a plan.  As long as you're sure you'll be 
     allright in the underworld?" she questioned.
     
     Xena smiled broadly, her blue eyes sparkling in the sun.  "I'll be 
     _fine_, Gabrielle.  And I'll be very relieved to know you're fine 
     too."
     
     Gabrielle nodded thoughtfully.  "Ok then, I'll go." She turned and 
     hurried off.
     
     Aphrodite frowned and looked after Gabrielle.  "That's funny, 
     there's something about her that I hadn't noticed before," she 
     said mostly to herself.
     
     "Of COURSE there is!" exclaimed Xena.  "Gabrielle is a Very 
     Special Person.  She--"
     
     "Oh save it," interrupted Aphrodite, who simply disappeared.
     
     Xena made a rude noise, threw up her hands, and turned to walk 
     back to where Argo was stabled.  "I sure hope Hades doesn't mind 
     me dropping in for a visit," she said to herself.
     
     From the far side of the town square, Ares looked on from the 
     shadows.  He smiled a smug and self-assured grin to himself and 
     faded away in a blast of steel-gray light.
     
     ON MOUNT OLYMPUS . . . 
     
     Atropos leaned forward to look at the black and yellow threads 
     that were starting to separate from one another. It looked like a 
     nasty tangle would soon form all right. A tangle that would 
     require some cutting . . .
     

Backstory from the Xena TV Show

     In the episode "Hooves and Harlots" Gabrielle throws her body over 
     the fallen body of the Amazon princess during an ambush. For her 
     simple, honest courage, the mortally-wounded amazon bestows her 
     caste-right on Gabrielle making her the new princess.
     
     In a later episode, the Amazon queen Melosa has been challenged 
     and defeated by Velasca; Velasca is about to ascend to the throne 
     of the Amazons when Gabrielle is found and claims the throne. She 
     was on her way to Amphipolis, to bury Xena. Xena had been mortally 
     injured and apparently died, but her spirit was restless and 
     following Gabrielle. With her new followers and the help of 
     Autolycus the King of Thieves, Gabrielle got to a supply of 
     Ambrosia, the food of the Gods that grants godhood itself and got 
     a sliver to Xena's "dead" body. End result: Xena came back to 
     life.  However, Velasca tried to get the Ambrosia for herself. 
     Xena's spirit used Gabrielle's body to fight off the sadistic 
     Amazon, and Velasca seemed to fall to her death in a pit of 
     spikes. Unfortunately, more than a sliver of Ambrosia fell right 
     next to her. End result: the Goddess Velasca, whose goal it is to 
     supplant the huntress goddess Artemis, for "failing" the Amazon 
     nation.
     
     In order to stop Velasca, Xena and Gabrielle released Xena's 
     nemesis, the psychopathic Callisto, from the Labyrinth of the Gods 
     where she'd been confined after tricking Hercules into leading her 
     to the legendary Golden Apples of the Hesperides, which grant 
     immortality (but not godhood). Xena tricked Velasca and Callisto 
     into fighting; Callisto got some of Velasca's Ambrosia; and Xena 
     cut the ropes that kept the bridge they were on from falling into 
     a river of lava. End result: two evil goddesses being kept in 
     check ONLY by a river of flaming molten rock.  They were weak and 
     newly made divine when they went in. But it's been a few months. . . 
                      

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