Written while waiting for his talk to end
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OK, these are called "double dactyls."  A dactyl sounds like "radium" or "Nadia" or "harmonize."  So a double dactyl sounds like "Nadia Nadia" or "radium radium." 

The rules are as follows: (a) 8 lines in two stanzas; (b) first line must be nonsense; (c) Line 2 has to be someone's name; (d) at least one line has to be a single word (I used to think, in error, that this had to be Line 6, so all the double dactyls below suffer from this constraint); (e) Lines 4 and 8 must rhyme.  If you don't believe me, see Wikipedia.



Bibbity bobbity

Roderick and Harrison

Stalking gerontogenes

Strain after strain


Clone the old-fashioned way –

Heterosexually –

Watching their breeding stock

Fill most of Maine.





Bibbity bobbity

Carey and Curtsinger

Counting fly carcasses

Zillions a day


Find an occasional


Old fruit flies neither die

Nor fade away.





Bibbity bobbity

Nadia Rosenthal,

Constructing Mighty Mouse

Base after base:


Muscular rodents made


Needn't let hamsters kick

Sand in their face.





Bibbity bobbity

Michal Jazwinski

Pioneer LAG-meister

Leader of yeasts


Claims that his moist little


Resemble, in some ways,

Less tractable beasts.





Bibbity bobbity

Michal Jazwinski

Spritzing LAG™-ointment

On mama-yeast's gears


Eases his poor, bud-scarred

S. cerevisiae

Downhill, on spirals, to

Well-deserved beers.





Bibbity bobbity

Dr. Jan Hoeijmakers

Tired of working with

Slow-aging beasts


Snips out one deoxy-


Now his mice age just as          

Quickly as yeasts





Bibbity bobbity

Edward Lakatta

Guarding your heartbeat

From time's wear and tear


Shows that the levels of



Had Beta be there.





Bibbity bobbity

Vladimir Dracula

Used to be shy of

The sun's deadly rays


But switching from indoles to


Gets him to Newsweek

Undead but unfazed.





Bibbity bobbity

Edward J. Masoro

All his rats ancient, and

None of them stout


Fears that rats sentenced to


Given their 'druthers, would

Druther eat out.





Bibbity bobbity

Harmon C. Dunathan

Shows, pulling conformers

Down from the shelf


B6, which mostly works


Can, pyridoxically,

Schiff for itself.




Notes: Most of these are more-or-less self-explanatory if you've been keeping up with biogerontology.  Number VIII is a reference to the linked paper, in which Pierpaoli and Regelson claimed that lifespan of mice could be extended by melatonin-secreting pineal transplants, unaware that the donor strain had an enzymatic defect that prevented it from making any melatonin.   Neither author resembles V. Dracula in any way, but I did hope that this discovery, which was featured in Newsweek, might cheer up the Count if he happened to know his indole physiology.  Harmon C. Dunathan, my organic chemistry teacher in college (see Number X), was an expert on the action of Vitamin B6 (pyridoxal phosphate), and made his reputation by showing that this molecule can form Schiff bases even without the benefit of enzyme catalysis.