"Pah-thet-ic." -- Dwinn, surveying the web-page for the first time

"If there are an infinite number of shadows, how do you count them?" -Joe
"Joe, if there's an infinite number of shadows, there's an infinite number of numbers!" -Jason

"Pagers use microwaves?" -Mer
"You never feel warmer when you get paged?" -Joe

"Hakthla loogey." -Dwinn

"So who is this?" -Stark
"Cecily." - Jasper
"Hi, Cecily. Are you awake? No, you're dead." - Stark/Jill

"It's not like that I came out to the desert with a huge stash of drugs - I'm living off the land here!" -Jason, re: Fletcher's mescaline habit

"I've been in the desert on a drug with no name..." - Joe

"She has a dry accent." -Mer
"It's a dry place." -Joe

"That was so good I have to commend you even though I got slammed." Joe to Jason

"When someone asks if you're the game master, say yes!" -Mer

"I feel enlightened." -Jason, heavy on sarcasm.
"You should be smacked." -Mer
"That is the path to enlightenment." -Joe

"I grew up in 'insert village'." - Dwinn

"You get the notion she's starved for intelligent conversation." -Mer
"Well, then, barring any calamity, I will try and provide it." -Dwinn

"She begins the long, halting story of your conception." - Mer

"And he introduced himself as... crap!" Mer, forgetting the name of an NPC
"How did he get any with a name like that?!" -Dwinn

"Somewhere out in shadow is a man wearing a tube top made of grass."-Joe
"Now we're epic." -Dwinn

"We had soap? That city rocked!" -Jason
"It was harsh and full of lye." -Mer
"Just like me." -Jason

Everyone talks animatedly in a variety of conversations
Sudden silence descends
"Did Jill just say 'orgasm'?" -Mer

"She pauses, lowering the basket she's carrying... you do have baskets, right?" -Mer

"Why is the world flat?" -Joe
"'Cause someone stepped on it." -Jason

"Do you have a means of crossing the ocean?" -Joe
"They're called boats." -Mer and Jill

"Mentos - the bastard maker." -Jason

"It's hard to get mushy when you have lice." -Mer

"I put Camille down my shirt." -Stark discussing her chameleonic mini-dragon
"It blends perfectly with your breasts." -Mer

"She hangs up and starts pacing." -Jill
"In the phone booth?" -Mer

"Look, would you rather be dead or have sex?" -Harrison

"She looks helpless, confused... like she wants a chocolate cat." -Mer

"I thought you won the endurance auction?" -Jason
"Nope." -Julie
"You should have. You'll need it." -Jason

"If you see a bunch of yaks eating dirt, and locals being oppressed by Communists, you're in Tibet." -Joe

"It's a woman, wearing a green silk dress, which does not have pointy ears." -Mer

"You do understand that part of my making a living is using my mouth on a daily basis?" -Griffin

"He tries to hold his stomach through all this." -Joe
"What's going to happen to your stomach if you don't hold it?" -Mer

"Do you have pants?" -Mer to Joe

"So, it looks like he has pants, with something hanging down in front." - Joe

"I'm here to eat burritos and kick ass!" -Dwinn, portraying Blaise
"And I'm all out of burritos!" -Jason

"As much as I wouldn't have expected it, your vocabulary is more advanced than mine." -Griffin to Shen

"What's in the Playmate?" - Dwinn
"Beverage." -Jason

"It was obviously player to GM, because I didn't have a stupid accent." -Jason

"She is standing there in a nightgown - her hair is wet, ansd she's bleeding all over." -Jill
"It's kind of sexy..." -Mer
"In a snuff film kind of way." -Julie

"By then the demon was gone and she was just locked in the bathroom... That's happened to all of us." -Joe

"In fact, there's been a suspicious suspension of--" -Mer
"Disbelief." -Dwinn

"I b'lieve that if I walk up to the Beholder and say 'Into the teddy bear,' he's a-gonna be skeptical." -Fletcher

"It's hard to freeze stuff in nature." -Jason
"Except in winter..." -Mer

"You're more primate than I am." -Joe
"I'm just prime ass." -Jason
"I am not writing that down." -Julie
"But it's your duty! Your sacreligious duty!" -Mer

"If you've got a gun, how much trouble can you have finding something to eat?" -Fletcher

"Look. I've been trying not to ask this, but we're not supposed to be here, are we?" -Shen, after Grayson comes in with a crossbow bolt through his shoulder.

"The man's gone missing. We're trying to make sure he's not lost." -Grayson

"He looks like some sort of soothsayer. Do these mean anything?" -Griffin, showing Grayson the trumps he found
"They're just cards... look, that's one of him." -Grayson
"How vain." -Griffin

"And, you have to chew them really well or they climb back out." -Joe

"I want to be a demon when I grow up." -Jason

"Is this conversation happening in character?" -Joe
"Yes, but not quite this badly." -Mer

"They're asking for white males." -Mer
"Which everyone knows you are." -Jill
"I'm a Latino it." -Mer

"It's just like you're Mer-babbling at me!" -Mer, to Jason

"You're degenerate." -Jason, to Joe
"He's de-Joe-nerate." -Mer

"Return me to the fictional world; this one is foul." -Joe

"Did you write down that her name sounds like a disease?" -Joe, in reference to the npc Lachesis

"He's courting her, I think." Lachesis, about the sorcerer who sent Hakthla after Cecily
"Somebody needs to read Miss Manners." -Julie
"Well, you know, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'." - Joe

"I knew it looked like I was crucifying him, but I meant to be doin' him a favor." -Fletcher

"You guys are pathetic." -Dwinn

"It's like Kansas - it's in the middle. You can't move it." -Mer

"And I've also got this whack-ass sorceror 'courting' me." -Cecily
"Whack-ass, indeed." -Harrison

"Would it be very evil of a several-hundred year-old man to seduce such a young woman?" -Grayson
"Now we're getting somewhere." -Joe

"I play just like Griffin would, except he's competent and I'm not." -Dwinn

"I have angst." -Jill
"You're having sex, not angst!" -Mer
"Who says the two can't go together?" -Joe

"If we're all friends and they're all dead, what's to argue about?" -Fletcher, on the approaching riders

"I hope he's not my father." -Jill
"You should have thought of that." -Mer
"She did, and discarded it." -Julie
"She can always claw her eyes out later." -Mer
"Out, out, vile jelly!" -Dwinn

"This campaign needs a 'Love Boat-esque' opening." -Joe

"'Live and let me kill people' is my attitude." -Fletcher

"On our first trip, the sheep were much more friendly." -Mer

"The pursuit of science is never wrong." -Harrison
"I'll put that on your tombstone." -Cecily
"And what will we put on yours? 'Demon hunting is never wrong'?" -Harrison
"How about 'My brother drove me to an early grave'?" -Cecily

"It is hard to keep an inner peace with people like you around." -Shen
"This is the sound of one hand slapping." -Dwinn

"What's your brother doing? I can't see." Stark
"I'm not supposed to move, you said." -Cecily
"Just look over there." -Stark
Cecily does, and Stark gives her a shot
"Bitch!" -Cecily

"I see dead people." -Jason
"You are dead people." -Mer

"We trust the wind to heal." -Ilie
"They're like Christian Scientists, but more passive." -Jason

"I wonder if it's possible to see double if you only have one eye?" -Fletcher, as he drinks himself into a stupor

"She's not being totally logical. She's a woman." -Jill, on her character, Stark

"Can I get a look at the guy, or is he totally cloaked... in the cloak?" -Julie

"Let's get you near the fire." -Stark
"Can I stand in it?" -Harrison
"Not twice." -Jason

"You hear the winged sounds... of wings approaching." -Mer

"He's married, in a fourth-dimensional sense." -Joe, regarding Dragos

"You could fly ahead." -Stark
"It is a two day journey. I will not allow you to accompany yourself alone." -Dragos.

Proposed Session Title: "Crack-addled NightMer"

"Dwinn is Chandler." -Mer
"I'll be Joey. I'd rather be stupid than ambiguous."-Dwinn

"Dwinn, do some of your moves." -Mer
"In public?" -Dwinn

"They're bumpy cookies." -Mer
"They're ribbed for her pleasure." -Joe

"The great Wind will pass..." -Joe

"I try and teach him to play the flute... no innuendo there." -Jill
"He actually knows how. He amazes you with his prowess." -Mer

"Sometimes there are games of chase and pursuit." A moment later... "You're not writing that down, are you?" -Mer
"It's my duty. My sacreligious duty." -Julie

"It's the wild leather chicken." -Julie

"Julie, there's a dark shadow with wings standing outside your cave entrance." -Mer
"It's Hakthla! He says, (in a "Pillow Talk" voice), "Let's bury the hatchet, baby. I want to be your Beholder of Love." - Jason
(Also in "Pillow Talk" voice) "I don't need three eyes to see how beautiful you are." -Dwinn

"What form does the wrath of your gods take?" -Stark
"Sometimes it is subtle and tormenting, but usually it is just lightning." -Priestess

"Forever far from being the sharpest knife in the drawer." -Jason, about Shen

"You break a lot of wind. That's what he likes about you." -Dwinn

"[Harrison and Fletcher] jerk apart hastily." -Mer
"Ewww." - the group
"They were bent over a book!" -Mer
"Bent over?" -Jill

"How many points do you have in sarcasm?" -Joe, to Jason

"People don't think necromancy is bad because they've been fooled all these years. It's pretty bad." -Fletcher

"They don't fight you, they greet you." -Mer
"I always get those two mixed up." -Jason

"I was going to describe the architecture of the town." - Mer
"Frank Lloyd Wright?" - Dwinn
"Falling Water?" - Mer
pause "You will die." - Dwinn

"She's wearing a white robe." -Mer
"Is it see-through, seeing as we're under water?" -Joe
"Are you asking as Joe or Shen?" -Mer
"Well, Joe's not here to see this, unfortunately." -Joe

"I'm just going to let you kill a whole race of people so you can feel bad for a couple of sessions and leave me the fuck alone." -Mer to Jason

"This is a gated underwater community?" - Jill

"Fletcher, you begin to feel woozy. You must have had bad fish." -Mer
"I've had bad stuff." -Jason

"What's the effect of casting a lightning bolt under water?" -Dwinn
"What's the effect of being poisoned in the midst of your enemies?" -Jason

(After Fletcher lightning bolts himself to stay conscious, mildly electrocuting everyone else in the room)
"I thought the adrenaline would keep me awake, like pinching myself to stay awake." -Jason
"Well, then why didn't you just pinch yourself?" -Julie
"What kind of flair for dramatics is that?" -Jason

"I think that if I share all his memories, I'd know what certain of his gestures would mean." -Joe about Leiko
"He means, 'Come now! Timmy fell down the well!'" -Mer

"Next time I'm going to pay more points for a monopoly on treacherous behavior." -Jason

"There's that mountain in Hawaii that's always gently splooging, and then there's Mount St. Helen's." -Joe
"Joe, for you I'm always gently splooging." -Jason

"Someone put a sleep spell on you and then went and worked treachery in your kingdom. Now you're up to date." Fletcher, to Lewella

"We'll see how boring she thinks I am when I rip off her arms and pick my teeth with her abalone..." -Joe

"All I know is that if you're ever stuck somewhere, all you need is Dworkin and a spoon to get out." -Joe

"You have a plan?" -Lewella
"A plan always comes to me. Usually too late." -Fletcher

"Hello! Play with me!" - Mer

"There's a resounding *BOOM* which shakes the entire place, then a deep, resounding silence." - Mer
"More silence than there was before?" -Julie
"Yes." -Mer
"Wow..." -Julie

"So he intends to use it [the mirror] for himself." -Fletcher
"Well, my brother is more of a 'for the greater good of all mankind' guy." -Cecily
"That's even worse." -Fletcher

"I just felt like stabbing [Reginald] in the kidney a little bit."- Jason

"You're probably one of those chicks who hates foreplay." -Fletcher
"What?" -Salome

"I can be subtle. I just don't feel the need to among friends."-Jill

"Stark is short for 'Stark Raving Mad', apparently." -Merrie

"I have a trump of the place." -Griffin
"No offense, Griffin, but there's no time like not now." -Fletcher

"I'm glad I have no power-hungry sorcerors after me." -Stark
"No, it's better to have complete strangers bone you for prophecy." -Jason

"You could live a lot longer eating me than I could eating you." -Joe

"This place reminds me a little of Cecily's bathroom." -Shen
"I'm glad I never used it." -Griffin
"No, not the design. After the demons came." -Shen

"If I couldn't kill myself, I'd set fire to the whole place. Wouldn't that piss him off." -Julie
"Ha ha. I'm laughing at you from beyond the grave." -Dwinn

"They park, or whatever it is boats do." -Mer

"It's Jay. Everything is better than what he could have said." -Mer

"I'd advise you to stroke his genitals, but that might make him want to bite you more." -Joe

"Let's put it this way: I'm a big fan of lift and seperate, not lift and smoosh." -Mer

"You don't need a mental health complex in a city with no people!" -Jason

Regarding evil twins...
"They need to do some studies to see if twins have evil tendancies and shoot that theory down." -Dwinn
"Like the evil one couldn't fool the tests." -Jason

"I don't know what I'm saying." -Mer

"Contributions are log, trumps, and can't eat cookies the right way." -Jason, on the GM's strange habits

"This is above the level that's above me." -Joe

"They're programmers. They do error checking in the last stage. They're trying to fix the problem where it kills people in version 3." -Jason, on Luke and Merlin

"Somewhere there's a shadow that's all paved over." -Joe
"That's just the parking lot for the next shadow over." -Dwinn

On the fallen Ygg...
"It's not still warm, is it? It's not like we did this?" -Joe
"Rigor has set in." -Dwinn

"All paranoid people prefer to be talked about in the third person." -Jason

Regarding Gerda... "In her case, her womanhood is purely a medical condition." - Fletcher

"Discretion is the better part of not getting your ass kicked." -Julie

"Think of the money we could make renting a saddle shop at Ygg." -Jason

"Fletcher thinks, 'You can't begin to understand the deficit of my character.'" -Jason

A little redundancy goes a long way...
"She won't admit or confirm it." -Merrie

Regarding the pre-game stupidity
"How do I log that?" -Joe
"You don't." -Mer

"We're an army in our own minds." -Julie

"Gerda gives you a look." -Mer
"She wants me." - Jason
"...dead." - Joe

"It created a little piece of Chaos in the heart of Order." -Matthias
"That sounds like us." -Cecily

"[Gerda] laughs." -Mer
"She wants me." -Jason
"Or maybe she's hysterical... which might lead to her wanting you." -Mer

"Wind spirits are neutral in and of themselves. Their application for good or evil depends on the application of the person applying them... that didn't come out right." -Griffin

"Any chance of us getting the rest of our belongings up here?" -Cecily
"You mean your weapons." -Matthias
"That's the majority of my belongings." -Cecily

"You took peyote too?" -Mer, to Jill/Stark
"She's totally my peer pressure bitch." -Jason

"Unprovable points are by definition not wrong." -Joe
"Prove it." -Jason

"Let's go see if they can direct us in the direction of the kitchens." -Julie

"These grapes are turgid..." -Mer
"... and that's how we ended up not gaming, Your Honor." -Joe

"Can I do pahren with only one hand?" -Joe

"You know, I'm happy to be of assistance." -Fletcher
"Especially at the expense of another living creature." -Joe

"You all act like there's nothing we can do to get out of this. There's actually hardly anything we can do to get out of this." -Fletcher

"If I die, let this be a lesson to you to plan your things out before you do them." -Fletcher

"I'm just ticking off all we know." -Cecily
"All the time." -Dwinn

"[Rhiannon] would have been voted off the island a long time ago." -Dwinn

"Brand's death curse - may you never ride a horse again." -Joe
"Boy, Dworkin'd be pissed." -Jason

"It's 'you may never go home again', not 'you may never go anywhere again.'" -Jason

"Manners are everything." -Jason
"Especially when you have no character." -Joe (?)

"I just gave him a taste of the golden rule." -Jason
"Do unto others as you would want done unto you?" -Mer
"I usually just shorten it to 'See how you like it, Bub'." -Jason

"I have a spell that lets my instruments play themselves... the musical ones." -Dwinn/Griffin

"You are devilishly witty." -Matthias
"You saw the group I came in with. One of us has to be." -Griffin

"Carrots harvested by the full moon are more powerful than normal carrots." -Syrana

"What are you doing?" -Fletcher while Merlin scalps an unsuspecting NPC
"You said [we needed] savoir faire. Nothing says savoir faire like a dried scalp." -Merlin

"This is more entertaining than informative." -Joe, on Jason's game log

"Do you think Mer is really using the bathroom, or is she just doing plot in there?" -Joe
"I can hear you! -Mer from bathroom
"Let's hope one is not just a metaphor for the other." -Jason

"We will not be hucking items across the Pattern - this is not an Italian wedding." -Joe

"If anyone can keep his mind blank, I think it's Shen." -Mer

"A few puncture wounds are one thing, but I don't want her hitting me with the sword. She could whack off something I need." -Jason

"Ah, yes, Matthias. He has the twin singularities... hey wait a minute." -Gerda/Mer

"My mother would be the perfect woman [for you]." -Gerda
"'Cept we don't believe in necrophilia." -Fletcher

"There's a gleam in your eye that you've never seen... but everyone else has." -Mer, describing Luke's trump of Cecily to Julie

"They're applying pressure... and suction." -Mer, on treating Luke's wound

"Wait, gun powder doesn't work here." -Cecily
"What they're using is pink." -Stark

"It's her pee-psyche. Her strength of will when she urinates is phenomenal." -Jason, about Mer

"If you leave too much wadding in the cannon and it can't fire, is it artillery sclerosis?" - Joe

"It just proves that if you meet a virgin in an Amber campaign, fuck her before the plot catches up with you." -Jason

"You date a man with only one eyebrow and you can't handle Liam's sideburns?!" -Jason, to Mer

"I'm thnking about getting a Soloflex or something to cut down on fat." -Jason
"I'm thinking about getting a tapeworm." -Joe

"Somewhere between plumbing and plot, there's Mer." -Joe

"I'm sure you could get Harry to hold a seance." -Julie
"Let's all join hands together and contact the plot!" -Dwinn