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diversify |
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heres my latest VR model if you care... |
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i realized my week was too busy when i was getting all stressed out about when i was gonna have time to stop and get gas for my car cos i had been driving on empty for the past day...something which would take about 5 minutes to remedy...i mean how am i supposed to get **CENSORED!** this was way TOO HOT for TV! **CENSORED!**...quick, order "randomSPACE - way TOO HOT for TV!" so you can see all the outrageuosness that goes on behind the scenes here at randomSPACE which is just way TOO HOT to show you now without getting into a lawsuit with the FCC...thats right, "randomSPACE - way TOO HOT for TV!" is the most outrageuos, out of control, insane situations that you could ever imagine...that is why you must order now so that you can see what everyone is going to be talking about, or more likely, screaming about!...i mean this stuff is beyond vile and offensive...folks, you dont want to miss this opportunity!... |
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forgetful |
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vizatiza rizabizaliza for skizool with the skiza |
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What am i going to do with my life? |
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don't stray, don't ever go away, I should be much too smart for this, you know it gets the better of me sometimes, when you and I collide, I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time don't let me drown, let me down, I say it's all because of you, and here I go losing my control, I'm practising your name, so I can say it to your face it doesn't, seem right, to look you in the eye, and let all the things, you mean to me, come tumbling out my mouth, indeed it's time, tell you why, I say it's infinately true, say you'll stay, don't come and go, like you do sway my way, yeah I need to know, all about you, and there's no cure, and no way to be sure, why everything's turned inside out, instilling so much doubt, it makes me so tired, I feel so uninspired, my head is battling with my heart, my logic has been torn apart, and now it all turns sour, come sweeten every afternoon, say you'll stay don't come and go, like you do sway my way, yeah I need to know, all about you, say you'll stay, don't come and go, like you do, sway my way, yeah I need to know, all about you, it's all because of you, it's all because of you |
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opening doors |
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here's what my first 3D Virtual Reality model looks like: |
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this is why i created the whatever page, i can post crap like this and not even feel bad about it: |
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catastrophe avoided |
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in the news...... |
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falling trees |
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( t h i n g s | t h a t | a n n o y | m e ) |
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more evil |
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you are all evil |
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The Blair Witch Project |
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when i was biking today i came across one of these radars that the city puts on some of the streets that tell you how fast youre going when you pass them...im thinking that in the future these things will be fitted with cameras that will take a pic of your license plate as you pass by if you are speeding and theyll send you a ticket in the mail (an idea that could have only been thought up by satan himself)...right now all they do is tell you how fast youre going which you could tell by just looking at your speedometer...but anyways, i was curious about how fast i could go on my bike so rode past it and only registered a mere 25mph...i think i could get up to 30mph if i had more time to get up speed and hadnt been riding for like 20 miles already...its very humid here and i guess we are in some sort of heat wave...every year they are always talking about how its so hot and we're in some kind of heat wave...i guess thats because we do have a heat wave every year, its called SUMMER...its supposed to be hot...dont act surprised...i guess it is hotter than normal this summer but when every place you go is air conditioned who really cares...i dont really like hot weather tho...id move to minnesota if jackie didnt live there...just kidding jackie...id live in the same state as you...as long as we were 2-3hrs apart...thats by plane...so alaska may be the only state big enough... |
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i did a demographic study of my audience and found that 50% of them are actually christian...needless to say the "anti-religious" stuff doesnt go over too well with them...so, i would like to take this time to show you, the audience, a few sites you can go to to learn more about god and the bible: |
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fallacies from the movie contact: (context: the person in bold is explaing why she doesnt believe in god)
i wouldnt believe in anything i couldnt prove... prove it?...proving anything outside of mathematics can be pretty hard...but first of all, she said "i wouldnt believe in anything i couldnt prove", not "i wouldnt believe in anything i couldnt prove to YOU"...so, obviously she knows whether or not she loved her father so there is no need for her to "prove" it to herself...but anyways, do we really only believe in things that we can prove?...like just because i cant prove you ate the last piece of cake doesnt mean i dont believe it to be true...you selfish asshole...speaking of assholes, there was this one guy who once tried to tell me that believing that god exists is no different than believing that abraham lincoln existed...how did he come to this absurd conclusion?....well, because the things that lincoln has left us: his accomplishments, our history, his legacy , and the people who knew him are no more than what "god" has left behind...well, lets assume that this is true, why do i still feel that believing in god is different than believing lincoln existed?...well, to believe in something we dont really need to be able to prove it, we just need to think it is reasonable ...how do we decide what is and what is not reasonable?...by things we witness in our own lifetime...so, is it reasonable to believe that a man named abraham lincoln once existed and was the president of the united states?...i have seen men before...i have seen presidents...seems pretty reasonable to me...now if you told me that abraham lincoln was 25ft tall and could heal people by touching them i might find it a bit harder to believe you....so what about god?...cant see him...cant smell him...cant touch him...cant hear him...yet he is the most powerful thing in the universe...he created earth and everything on it down to the finest detail in 7 days by waving his hands around or something...does this sound reasonable?...i have never witnessed anything like this before...can you understand why someone may have trouble believing it?...one thing we have witnessed is other cultures 'making up' religions to follow...the greek gods for instance, can we all agree they dont exist?...so we know man has a tendancy to make up religions, why should one believe that they arent all made up considering there is no empirical proof of god?...well, because if you dont believe in god then youre going to hell...right jackie?...
the great wall (answer: they made a dirt ramp with a 6 degree slope over 1 mile long and had elephants pull the 4 ton rock up the incline, rolling it on logs...this is our best guess anyways, part of the supposed ramp still exists today...) this is what happens when i watch "the learning channel"
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my cousin sent me these song lyrics: i can't hold it in, my soul is screaming... hey you i'm into Jesus, oh yeah
which inspired me to write this beautiful poem: hey yeah, im into jesus im so far gone its like a disease-a i say things in my head and i think they come true it doesnt make sense but its what we do i try to tell others that they should be like me believe in a god that they cant even see i can commit any sin and just be forgiven yeah thats whats its like when youre a christian now if youre not a christian youll be going to hell its going to be hot but i sure wish you well so you better come to our churches and give us some money or youll be hurting so bad it wont even be funny if you dont believe in god then youre in denial youve been touched by the devil, and youre going to fry -oh it is fun being christian and pointing my finger the thought of me being wrong does not even linger i used to have to worry about problems with my self now that im christian i just blame everyone else hey yeah, im into jesus im so far gone its like a disease-a
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stupidity every so often i run across a piece of writing that uses incredibly stupid logic and it pisses me off...here is one written by a "hacker" (person who illegally breaks into computer systems)...his comments in bold, mine in italic... "Mentor's Last Words" Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"... Damn kids. They're all alike. no, i dont think anyone would say all kids are alike, or even that all hackers are alike...youre just fishing for sympathy...aw, poor hackers are stereotyped...what group isnt?...its the way of life, get used to it... But did you, in your three- piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him? I am a hacker, enter my world... 'the hacker'?...what hacker?...werent you just indirectly complaining about being stereotyped?...yet you seem to be talking in generalizations... Mine is a world that begins with school...I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...Damn underachiever. They're all alike. there you go again...people are stereotyping you huh? you poor thing...gosh, youve had a rough life...people think youre an underachiever because you dont do your school work...that is rough... I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..." Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike. you understand how to reduce fractions?...wow, then why the hell cant you understand that in order for a teacher to evaluate you they need to see your work?...some kids do copy, how would the teacher know you didnt?...is it so hard to write out how you reduced a damn fraction?... I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me... Or feels threatened by me.. Or thinks I'm a smart ass.. Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here... Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike. oh look, i found a pencil...if it breaks its because i pushed too hard and not cos it doesnt like me...how cool, i think i will devote my life to pencils...ok, you can shut the fuck up with the "theyre all alike" shit...we feel sorry for you...glad you found a place where you dont have to deal with other peoples mistakes or feelings... And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all... Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike... yeah, hacking is like doing drugs baby...probably the only reason you like doing it is because its illegal... You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. why are you so dependent on others?...if you dont like what is being fed to you then feed yourself... We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert. This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. you dont like money..of course, of course...youve got great morals, thats why you intrude on others privacy and steal other peoples intellectual property... We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias...and you call us criminals. probably cos you break into shit, steal shit, and mess shit up...figure it out...dont care if you have a race, what youre doing is wrong...i dont care if youre seeking knowledge...can i break into the pentagon in seek of knowledge?...give me a break... You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. such an evil world we live in...and you are so pure...some people wage wars which is far worse than anything youve done so everything youve done is ok...good logic...lets just stop prosecuting people for stealing because some people do worse things like murder so really people who steal arent all that bad in comparision... Yes, I am a criminal. good, we agree on something My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. curiousity doesnt give you the right to infringe on other peoples privacy...and you know the only reason you became a hacker was so that you could hack into porn sites to get free porn so dont give me this shit about how you dont care about looks... I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike. hopefully you arent all this dumb...try doing something useful... +++The Mentor+++ if you want to be a hacker, fine...but dont start crying when you get your ass thrown in jail for it cos what you are doing is wrong, you are abusing your power...
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Encryption ever wonder how/if your credit card number can be securely transfered over the net when you order something online?...if so, read on... lets say you wanted to send your friend the message "lars is a bitch" thru email...that message doesnt go directly from your computer to your friends computer, it bounces around the internet from computer to computer until it gets to your friend...well, what is stopping one of those computers in the middle from reading what you wrote and telling me so i could come kick your ass?...nothing really, thats why if you want to send something private over the internet (like your credit card number) you need to take some security measures...in the research work i am doing this summer im using ssl (secure socket layer) which uses encryption to make your connection secure...so how does it work?...thats what im trying to figure out, but i can explain it in general terms...first lets make sure we understand what encryption means..to encrypt something means to change it in a way that it is no longer understandable to a 3rd party...lets say we want to encrypt the "lars is a bitch" message, we could replace every letter with the letter that follows it in the alphabet so it would be "mbst jt b cjudi" and then tell the person who is reading the message to decrypt the message by replacing all of the letters with the letter that precedes them in the alphabet so that they would get back the "lars is a bitch"...there are a few problems with this, first of all the encryption method (replacing letters with the letter that follows them in the alphabet) is way too simple and could be "cracked" (decrypted by a 3rd party) easily...and how do we tell the person who is recieving the message the method to decrypt it?...we couldnt tell them in the email because then any 3rd party who intercepted the message would know the decryption method and could decrypt it...so what do we do if we have no way to securely transmit this method of decryption to the reciever?...we use asymmetric encryption...first i guess i have to explain the idea of a "key"...there are certain algorithms that have been developed to encrypt data which use "keys" to specify how that data is encrypted...this allows everyone to use the same algorithms for encryption but still have their encryption be unique by specifying a unique "key"...normal encrpytion would use the same key to encrypt and decrypt data or at least the decryption key could easily be derived from the encryption key knowing the algorithm for encryption...am i losing you?...i thought this was going to be easy to explain....lets got back to the example of replacing each letter with the letter that follows it in the alphabet, the key for this could be a "1" to denote that you are moving each letter up the alphabet by 1...the decryption key would then be "-1"...so lets say you encrypt something using this method and tell your friend what your key is to decrypt it...this means that your friend now knows your key so if you wanted to encrypt something else and not have them be able to decrypt it you would have to use another key right?...well, changing keys all the time can get confusing....so what do we do?...as i mentioned before, we use asymmetric encryption...whats that?...well, assymetric encryption uses one key for encryption and a differnt key for decryption...it is possible to derive the decryption key from the encryption key but using the most efficient algorithm known today it would take the fastest computer billions of years to decrypt...this is where the idea of having a public and private key came from...the key you use for decryption you keep to yourself and never share with anyone and is called your private key...the key you use for encryption you can give out to who ever you want and they wont be able to derive your private key from it, this is your public key...so to send encrypted data to someone else you get their public key from them, use that public key to encrypt the data, send the data to them, and then they use their private key to decrypt the data...if you understand that you are very smart...there are more things you need to worry about on the net, like how do you know the computer youre talking to is who they say they are?...but im not going into that... on an interesting sidenote (well i think so anyways), cracking encryption methods actually played an important role in WWII...the germans encrypted their communications transmissions in a way that they thought was impossible to decrypt...well, the british cracked the germans encryption and as a result knew where the germans were heading and what their battle plans were throughout the war...the british were careful not to let on to the germans that they had cracked their encryption by not appearing too prepared for their attacks...i guess there is a book called "the codebrakers" which details all of this if you are interested...
soccer
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85% of all statistics are made up.
other i went out to lunch today and the waitress for the table next to us dropped a big ass tray of drinks...that would suck...and i totally didnt mean to push her...that was an accident...no i didnt touch her...i mean i touched her, but i didnt push her...no seriously, i dont believe in touching people...im too tired to go on right now...
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who knows i watched this HBO documentary which followed a convicted murderer to his death by injection...the family of the two victims who were murdered requested to witness the execution...the murderers last words were something like 'i believe that jesus christ is my lord and savior and that i have been forgiven...killing me isnt going to fix anything and i dont think it is right for the family to watch my death.....im ready'...ok, so here's the situation...the murderer regrets what he has done and feels that the lord has forgiven him and that he will be going to heaven...the prison warden who is a man of god feels that the murderer will go to heaven also and prayed with him...the family of the victims, well, they feel the murderer is not regretful and will go to hell...i found this to be interesting, who knows?...how much sense would it make to execute the murderer and send him to heaven while the family of the victims live out the rest of their lives with the incredible loss that this murderer created?...and lets say this murderer does make it into heaven...do others in heaven know about what he did during his life?...does he remember what he did on during his life?...would it matter anymore?...wouldnt you be pissed if some guy made it into heaven after he killed 2 innocent people?...will the 2 innocent people be there in heaven with him?...will they say hi to each other if they meet or stare at the ground as they pass and pretend not to notice each other...i can see it "hey...you look familiar...arent you the one i killed?...i shot you in the head and watched you bleed all over the floor...remember that...i killed you for no reason...gosh, that seems like such a long time ago now...how are you doing?"...religion may answer a few questions like 'how did we get here?', 'why are we here?', and 'where do we go when we die?', but it also creates a slew of new questions if you ever bother to think about it in depth...religious people dont like to think too hard tho, they just like to 'trust in god'...they obviously dont trust him too much tho if they continuously have to pray to him...god, do this for me please...dont forget this...make it happen this way god...please god...back to the execution, the family of the victims were happy that the killer of their kids was dead and they were happy that they watched it happen...they felt as if an incredible weight had been lifted from their shoulders...
Jackie responds
i respond
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[ m e e t i n g ] i noticed you you noticed me?? yeah...i was sitting over there...and i noticed you... what did you notice about me? ...i noticed...that i noticed you...i couldnt stop noticing you... oh yeah?....hmmm... you are thinking?... i guess... i hate this what? ...i dont know...not knowing what to say...not knowing what to do... just be yourself my self would be at that table over there just sitting and minding my own business...my self would never be over here...im not me right now...im someone else... who are you? who do you want me to be? whoever you are... that is who i am who? what? ...i noticed you you saw me? yeah...i saw you...you were...you...you were you...hi you...who are you?...i mean when you were over there, who were you?... over there i was no one...thats why i came over here...hi... hi... im noticing you...i saw you...im seeing you....youre you... yeah...im me...you dont have to be anyone...or say anything...you can just sit...we can just sit...i was just sitting... i was just sitting...that was me...until i noticed you... then you changed... yeah...i changed...i like this...what is this?...what am i doing?... being indirect...indecisive...indifferent...something like that... does that work? not usually... what about direct? not usually... so what are you saying, its not what you do its how you do it?...or nothing works?...at least when youre indirect you are less likely to force someone into something they dont want to do... how is this going to end? i havent even thought about the ending yet... then why did you come over here?...you must have had an ending in mind? youre asking me to be direct? i was just asking a question... are you hungry? no need to go to the grocery store for anything? no you have milk? yeah... what are you doing later? nothing... would you like to do something? i might... i actually like your plans...i would like to do nothing...i mean i cant think of anything to do...what is there to do? theres always stuff to do.. you sound like my mom when i was a kid and id be like "theres nothing to eat in this house" and she'd be like "nonsense, theres tons of stuff to eat...theres lettuce...cheese...bread...water..."... did she have milk? usually... you could have drank milk... yeah, but what if i just got done drinking a glass of milk?...you think i should just drink another?...maybe i wanted something different... you dont like milk? i like milk... but you only drink one glass? usually, unless im eating something...i dont just drink the whole carton at once...there are other people who rely on that milk you know... sometimes you have to put your own needs in front of others... i have thought about you so much... youve never even met me youre not even you yet, youre who i think you are...i have always known you...you have always been right here, in my mind...ive just been waiting for the meeting im the one?...we are going to leave here and live happily ever after?... i never think that far ahead...i dont even want to leave...why does there have to be an ending?...right now is good...if i get to know you any better i may find something i dont like...now you are just blank...i fill you in with whatever i want...
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my mom just got a computer...pretty soon she will be hooked up to the net and be able to access this page...so, its time to do a little cleaning up...you can help me by emailing me the address of any of my pages that have a swear word on them or talk about something inappropriate...when my grandma gets a computer and gets on the net i will have to change the site content to gardening and sewing only...you probably dont know this, but i can sew like a mother fucker...so dont worry, the site may change a bit but it will still be around... my cousin jackie is studying writing in college and she went and taught some kids for a day and she said she taught them that 'you have to write about what you know'...and i was like hmm, thats a pretty redundant thing to teach, of course you write about what you know, how could you write about what you dont know?...as redundant as the observation may be, it is an important one to make for any writer...before you can write about anything you need to have something to write about and that means you have to know about it...so, if you want to have something to write about you need to go out and experience things and observe things...that is where your inspiration comes from...so why i am talking about this and not telling you something useful like how to make a crack pipe out of a 20oz coke bottle and a mcdonalds straw?...because, you guys smoke too much crack as it is, why else would you be here reading this?...no, but sometimes i want to write, but i just cant, i dont have anything to write about...i need inspiration...
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t h e b i k e well, bought a mountain bike today...if you want to see it then click here...i ended up not getting any of the ones i mentioned before, but instead a bike made by K2 who also makes skis...i took it for a ride earlier and lets just say im still bleeding...ok, ill say more...i was riding across the barton dam on a walkway and at the end of the walkway there is a 2-3 foot drop off..so having a bike with suspension has given me new confidence about getting air, confidence that was shattered when i got too much air on my old bike and caused my front tire to bend into the shape of a potato chip when i landed which caused me to fly over the handle bars and land on my head...so im riding across the dam walkway and im changing my mind every 2 feet about whether or not im gonna jump the drop off at the end and when im about 10 ft away i decide to jump it so i start pedaling and i fly off the drop off but when i land my left foot slips off the pedal and the pedal scrapes the skin off my shin...i look down at my pedal and there is a chunk of skin hanging from it...if you want so see the chunk of skin then click here...so, that caused a fair amount of bleeding but now im all bandaged up and ok...the bike handled the landing great and i am really impressed with it over all, the full suspension allows you to fly downhill even on rough terrain... so, now ive got to go to school and do some work...see ya...
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New! Version 1.1 you guys probably think that i just write this shit in 5 minutes and post it, and yeah, judging by the quality of it that would be consistent...but, in reality, i probably read everything 100 times before i post it here, each time making changes, additions, or deletions...well, today i posted the whatever and later i thought of something i wanted to add to it so i had to upgrade the whatever to 1.1...this change is so small that most of you probably wont even notice, but since im here ill add some other stuff too...
Paintballin' in all seriousness, i dont catagorize people by their religion, i dont care what religion people are, i care about who people are...are they nice? are they assholes? are they thoughtful? are they selfish? do they give me money?...those kind of things...so please dont take my christian bashing too seriously, i bash all people...even you, your haircut makes you look stupid...and that shirt, which homeless guy did you steal it from?...bashing other people makes me feel better about myself...sure, i could deal with my insecurity another way, but this is more fun...oh, and jackie, i hope you dont feel the need to write me an email about how great jesus, god, and christianity are...just be happy i updated the whatever page... Jackie speaks: "i played paintball once, at a bible camp. they had it on their camp grounds and owned their own guns... i think you have a view of Chrisitans that they're not real people, i'm human like you. i struggle in life, and sure i screwed up bad, still do now. i'm not any better than you, no- i'm just different... different in a good way though- it's too bad you really didn't hand out with a Christian youth group, maybe you'd find out we're just normal people..."I reply: heres my favorite quote:Tonight ok, so i went downtown to eat tonight at like 12:30am (yeah, ive got a strange schedule)...so im walking by this restaraunt/bar that has outdoor seating and these women start yelling at me like "hey...hey you" so im like "what?"...and theyre like "hi...whats your name?...come on over here", but theres a fence seperating us so theyre like "come on...hop the fence...we'll buy you a drink...we're rich women...come on, we're just trying to have a little fun..."...so i just kinda stand there in shock thinking what the hell is going on here...eventually the 2 most vocal ones got up and went to the bathroom (whats up with women going to the bathroom in pairs?) so i tell the others bye, im going to eat dinner...so im eating dinner and im like hmmm...free drink, why not?...so curiousity killed the cat and it kills me too, so i walk past the restaraunt again and theyre like "hey lars...hey...come on...hop the fence, we're just having some fun.."...(by the way, they were obviously drunk and joked a lot)...so im like ok and i hop the fence and sit down with them and they give me a few drinks and they ask me questions and i lie to them to make myself look better...but seriously, turns out that they are a bunch of nurses that used to work together in ann arbor but now live in different cities and were having a reunion tonight...so they were actually really nice and i found out that i went to the same elementary/middle/high school as one of them and lived only a few blocks away from where she grew up...this is where i say 'small world', but its really not a small world, its incredibly big...yeah, so anyways, theres no climax to this story, we just talked for awhile and then went our separate ways...in elementary school i was taught to never talk to strangers but i think its kinda interesting...i like to meet people...i should hop more fences...
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ok, so im driving in this car with this girl and shes like "j has a lead foot"...and i recall observing that one of j's shoes had like a 6 inch sole...so im like "oh...really?....hmmm"...i take her all literally...but she wasnt being literal, she was referring to how j drives so fast...you know, lead feet are heavy, tend to push the gas pedal down a little too much...j's foot is not actually made of lead tho, i guess one of her legs is just shorter than the other so she has to have one shoe with a big sole...one of her arms didnt work too well either...i wonder what happened...felica, now there was a girl...she seemed nice...to look at...what is she like tho...and that girl at the table across, what was she like?...did she notice me?...i notice everyone...i just pretend not to...i noticed you..i saw you, im seeing you..youre there..here..hi..i see you...youre you...who are you?...hi...how could she not be self concious?....why am i so self concious?...the conciousness should be good, just the reaction perhaps not...but if you are concious of something how can you not react...is not reacting a reaction...can i react by not reacting?...if so, then is it possible to not react?...am i not reacting to the car parked on the street that i have no knowledge of?...i guess every reaction has to have a cause?...but does every cause have to have a reaction?...only if we considered no reaction a reaction...unless a cause isnt a cause unless it causes a reaction...can i not react to nothing?...what am i reacting to when im not reacting to something?... im gonna buy a new bike, looking at the raleigh m7000, the diamondback X2, and the Gary Fisher Joshua F4 ...today i got a flat when i was over 3 miles from home, had to jog back...second time thats happened this year, kinda annoying...
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T o d a y today was a good day...actually my whole weekend was pretty good...today it was really hot, like 98 degrees...i dont really like the heat but i decided to go mountain biking along the river...it was hot, when the wind blew it didnt cool you off, it made you feel like you were standing in front of a heater...but didnt i just say i was riding along a river?...i think i did...and you and i both know that even when the air temperature is high the water temperature is nice and cool...so, even tho the huron river has 7 times the contaminants allowed in swimming water, it felt extremely good to jump in and cool off...there are numerous bridges to jump off of and also theres the moss slide at argo park...the moss slide is just a slab of concrete with moss on it that the water runs down but its better than any waterslide youll find at a swimming pool cos theres no one there telling you you cant go down standing up or you cant walk back up the waterslide...its fun, quite a few people were out there today...lots of bridge jumpers were out today too...i had forgotten how much fun it is to jump off bridges...not sure how high they are but you definitely get more freefall than at a swimming pools "high dive"...i love water, it is so refreshing...thats why i drink "Mountain Springs" bottled water...it keeps me refreshed all day long...look for "Mountain Springs" bottled water at a grocery store near you so you can feel refreshed too...did i mention ill be doing advertisements here now?...you probably wont even notice because i work them in so inconspicuously...and if you want something else thats inconspicuous, try "Natural Earth" hair color to get that natural looking hair color you have always wanted...use "Natural's" hair coloring and you will honestly be able to say "Yes, its Natural" if anyone asks about your hair color...get "Natural Earth" products at a beauty salon near you and create the new you...ok seriously, back to what i was saying...i love the water...its a great escape from the heat and its cool to be able to jump from real high and not get hurt when you land...unless you land on your back or something...id like to go to hawaii and jump from some waterfalls...surfing would be another cool water sport ive never tried...
Y e s t e r d a y Album reviews...
(Cranberries) bury the hatchet
(Hole) celebrity skin
(Sponge) rotting pinata
(Sponge) new pop sunday
(Silverchair) neon ball room
(Afghan Whigs) 1965
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Another movie review for you i went and saw entrapment today...good movie...it had an interesting and unpredictable plot, especially at the end, and some cool high profile buglar action...rachel wouldnt have liked the movie because they paired up an old guy (sean connery) with a much younger woman (the beautiful and talented catherine zeta-jones)...i personally didnt have a problem with this because i am not as shallow as rachel...i think 2 people can fall in love regardless of their age, physical apearance, race, or the number of cavities they have...just joking, rachel isnt shallow, shes deep...i cant tell you how deep but let me just say there are no "no diving" signs...and if her water looks a little yellow its because people keep pissing in it...you like symbolism dont you?...well you wont find any here, rachel is a simming pool...you know how guys in the army give their planes female names and then refer to them like "yeah i was flying over tralmalfadore when she lost one of her engines and i had to make a crash landing with her"...well, thats what i do with swimming pools, i give them female names and refer to them like they are women "yeah, i was doing a cannonball into her when i realized she didnt have any water in her...she didnt like that and i felt it"...actually, i refer to all things like they are women "yeah, my glass is empty, could you fill her up?" or "you have a beautiful house, how much did you pay for her?"...back to rachels views on movies, she just doesnt like how its socially acceptable for an old guy actor to be with a young girl actress but not the other way around...i think it has to do with how women and men value different characteristics...men value youthful, healthy women because at mans most primative level all he wants to do is find a healthy mate so he can impregnate her and spread his genetics....women, since they are the ones stuck with the pregnancy dont want a man thats just gonna impregnate them and leave...they want someone who will be a provider and protector for them...this is why women are more likely to be with an older man than men are to be with an older woman...women like older men cos they are more experienced and should be better at being a provider and protector...i realize i am talking in generalizations here and also that i am talking about people at a more basic level than we live at today but this is my page so i can do whatever i want with her...yes, civilized men and women have advanced beyond acting soley on our primative instincts but they are still with us and influence us...
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helplessness heres a funny story...kinda...well not really...but, in the summer i often house sit for people...i stay in their home while they are on vacation and feed their dog, bring in the mail, etc...ok so im house sitting at this one place on this one night and im getting ready for bed and i remember that i need to water the roses...so, i go out the sliding door and close it behind me and ut oh, the security bar falls down, locking me out...oh shit...please say there is another door open...so i run around the house checking all windows and doors only to find they are all locked....so heres the situation: its about 11pm, im locked out, im wearing only my boxers, my car keys are inside, the phone number of the woman who has the extra house key is inside, and my own house is miles away...i panic for awhile trying to think of a way out of it...i figure that im gonna have to somehow call my sister who could give me the phone number of the person with the spare key because they used to work together...i decide the best thing to do is go next door and ask to use their phone...but in my boxers? at 11 o'clock at night?...that would be uncomfortable...so, i crawl thru the doggy door to get into the garage and start looking for stuff to wear...luckily i find a sports jacket and some old work pants...i put them on and look retarded and go next door and ring the door bell....a woman hesitatingly opens the door and asks me who i am...i tell her the situation and she gives me a little quiz to make sure i am who i am and then she graciously lets me in...i call my sister who gives me the phone number and i call the spare key woman and she comes over and everything is ok....but, what would i have done if i didnt have my sister to call for the phone number?...
t h e . m a t r i x
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Here's a test for you, i recieved the following email today, you tell me if its real or fake: Hello: We here at Miller Brewing Company, Inc. would like to help bring in the new millennium for everyone. We like to think of ourselves as a progressive company, keeping up with our customers. We have found the best way to do this via the Internet and email. Combining these things, we would like to make a special offer to our valued customers: If this email makes it to 2,000,000 people by 12:00 PM on New Year's Eve of 1999, we will send a coupon for one six-pack of any of our Miller Brand beverages. In the event that 2,000,000 people are reached, our tracker/counter, embedded in this message, will report to us with the list of names and email addresses. Thereafter, each email address will be sent an electronic coupon which you can print out and redeem at any Miller Brand beverage carrying store. The coupons will be sent as soon as 2,000,000 people are reached, so the sooner, the better. Enjoy, and Cheers,
Gary D. Anderson, Chief Marketing Director Here's another one for you, what should Ms. Zajechowski do ? Ms. Zajechowski, Thank You for the email. We at randomSPACE appreciate each and every individual in our audience. We work very hard to bring you a little entertainment with our randomSPACE website. Our devotion takes time though, and time is money. As I am sure you noticed, there are no advertisements at randomSPACE; this is why we need you, a loyal viewer, to help us out. Please take this time to make a monetary contribution to randomSPACE so that we can keep it online and you can keep enjoying it. Please send me money now and then forward this email to all of your friends if you have any...it doesnt matter if they have never been to or heard of randomSPACE as long they are rich, generous, and gullible... Thank You, Lars Jensen - randomSPACE Inc., President Send Cash To: P.O. Box 8347 Ann Arbor, Mi 48103
ANSWERS: (hold upside down to read) ok, the first one is obviously fake...you think Miller is going to send out 2 million electronic coupons for free 6-packs?...you think Miller could even figure out who this email is forwarded to and how many people it has been forwarded to?...dont think so, this is just another case of someone trying to fool people into spreading this hoax around...Now , the second email looks pretty legitimate to me...the last line is a bit suspect, but seeing how there are no advertisements, it does seem reasonable that the randomSPACE site would need money to cover operating fees...i would recommend that Ms. Zajechowski, and you viewers at home, send me, uh i mean randomSPACE money...
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i cant think of anything to write about so here's another email...background: i wrote this girl melissa an email and then hit ctrl+c instead of ctrl+x which deleted the email instead of sending it like i wanted...so, that sucked...after breaking a few things and waiting a few days i rewrote it...all you need to know to understand it is that CAEN stands for the "compuer aided engineering network" at UofM where me and melissa were working at the time... I could tell that you were a little choked up at work about the email that you never got...so, this is a mental copy of the email i deleted instead of sending, now you know when you make copies with a copier the copies are always a bit distorted compared to the originals... this is no different...or is it?.. giving me your email address may be one of the biggest mistakes you've ever made... almost as bad as you going in the 15 items or less lane with 16 items...i know that a 6 pack doesnt count as 6 items, but 2 things of yogurt do not count as one, even if they are the same kind...maybe you went into the lane with 15 items and then you saw a candy bar that looked good or pack of gum and added it to your pile, nope, sorry, cant do that...what i usually recommend to people is that they never go into the 15 items or less lane unless they have only 14 items, this gives them a little leeway...so, you made a mistake, thats ok, i wont hold it against you...it happens to everyone...like me, i think i made a lot of mistakes on my probability test...the only probability i can seem to figure out is the probability that i will fail the class, and its pretty high...probability is a brick and im drowning slowly... thats why im dropping out of college...ive got a job at McDonalds all lined up, and my parents said i can live in their basement till im 42...ok...you come to the Mcdonalds im working at and i wont charge you for the food...that way you can slip me the money on the side and i can pocket it for myself...actually, i dont recommend that you ever go to McDonalds... unless you want to play in the balls...here, let me ask you a computer question so you can charge this time to CAEN: if my moms uncles brothers sisters moms dads sons daughter has 12 kids, how many brothers do i have?....wait second, that wasnt about computers...oh well, i wont tell anyone if you dont...
here, this is all im trying to say, if youre nice to me(and im not saying you
havent been, cos you have...everyone i have met at UofM has been really
nice...ok, i have a problem with putting too much text in parens...you better
go back and re-read this sentence except skip everything in parens this
time....and next time you get an email from me and you see parens, just skip
them completely, it may sound harsh, but this is ridiculous, parens are not
made to handle this amount of writing) i will remember this...and when i am
president of Intel, i will get you a job...sweeping floors...making at least
what you make at CAEN...well, i might pay you less, but the benefits would be
real good...like you could use the bathrooms for free...only on your lunch
break of course...which would be 15 minutes, so i hope you can eat fast...hey,
what the hell are you doing?...quit reading email and get back to work, my
trash can needs emptying...ah just kidding...im going to be nice to you so you
will let me clean your office when you get one...but if you only pay me what i
make at CAEN, i will be forced to steal shit out of your drawers...sorry...i
wouldnt steal anything of sentimental value tho...well, i might, but id replace
it with a fake one...so you'd never know...until you picked it up...or looked
at it...
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Muscians that should have paid attention in highschool theres this song by the new radicals called "someday we'll know" that goes like: Someday we'll know If love can move a mountain Someday we'll know Why the sky is blue Someday we'll know Why I wasn't meant for youwell, id just like to point out that we already know why the sky is blue...i learned it in 10th grade physics, its cos of the way light from the sun scatters when it hits the particles in the earths atmosphere...and love cant move a mountain, the only thing i can think of that could move a mountain is a large amount of explosives...but that wouldnt move the mountain in one piece and im not sure if thats what he was after...ill have to contact him to see exactly which mountain it was that he wanted to move and if he needs the mountain to be in one piece or what....oh yeah, and i dont know why he wasnt meant for you...i guess you two just arent compatible...
Ketchup packets
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the following is part of an email i sent to my sister after she came back from colorado and said michigan sucked...so often i think we tell ourselves "oh ill be happy once i get this" or "ill be happier once i get to this point in my life"...then we get that thing or get to that point in our life or whatever and we find out that things are just the same as theyve always been...the following has nothing to do with this...im just saying... Michigan does not suck, and quit complaining about the weather, that is what old people do, you have more important things to worry about.......there are plenty of things you can do in Michigan, you have a river 300 ft. from you that you could canoe in, and if you are crazy like me you can swim in it too, there are beautiful sand dunes 3 hrs away, hiking at Silver Lake along the potowannabe trail, must I go on?.....why do you never do these things?, well, because you live here, if you vacationed here you might think it is a nice place.....yeah, Colorado is better, but Michigan is pretty damn nice too, the world is a beautiful place....you know when you find something that you think is so perfect that you want to be insured that you will never lose it, like if it is a pair of shoes you want to buy 2 pair so that when one pair wears out you will still have another.....and then 10 years later you find a picture of yourself wearing those shoes and you think, what the fuck was I thinking when I bought those shoes?.....cos since then you have bought 23 pairs of shoes which you like 46 times better than those, and I guess if you get better and better at buying shoes with time, you will be about perfect at it by the time you are ready to die, but I am going to dig your body up 10 years after you are buried just so I can laugh at your stupid shoes that you were buried in that you liked so much that you would hate so much if you were still alive....I am going to be buried barefooted, so don't even think about it, because you would probably end up stealing my watch while you were laughing at my shoes....and hey, I would have given you that watch if you had just asked.....why didn't you just ask?....or maybe you meet some guy(girl for me) that you think is so great and you don't know what you would do if you ever lost them but a year later you are wishing that you had encouraged him to drink and drive instead of discouraging him so that he would be dead now.....and at one time I think there was a point to this....and I think I have just remembered it....throughout life, your likes and dislikes change, sometimes you find things(like Colorado) that you think are so damn great and will make you happy, but just live there for awhile and maybe you won't have the weather to complain about, but you will find something, like maybe all the damn tourists who get in your damn way on their way to hiking, biking and rafting, things you havent done since 2 weeks after you got there...so quit your god damn complaining and get on with your life, I am sure that you will fall in love with Denmark when you go there too, but let me tell you something, that is not love, that is lust, you don't care about Denmark or Colorado, YOU just care about YOU living there....damn selfish Americans...just never happy...I want this I want that.....did the Native Americans complain about the weather or where they lived?.....I dont think so...the problem is that it has gotten too easy to travel the world, now instead of being grateful for what we have we are pissed about what we dont have, if the Chipawah Indains had taken a trip to Hawaii they probably would be pissed that god(or whatever they believed in) had put them in Michigan too..... my sister is now happily residing in the state of colorado.
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alright, pop quiz hot shot...youre sitting in your car at an idle and you notice your tempurature gauge says your engine is close to overheating, what do you do?...what DO yOu DO?
a) pull over and turn off your car as soon as possible so it can cool
down
the answer is actually b)...by revving the engine you increase the
circulation of the coolant system and therefore its effectiveness at cooling
your engine
Subject: URGENT, READ NOW!! This is from a friend of mine who is a Guide for AOL, and I’d trust her with my life, and even my computer! Anyway, if she says it’s genuine... it IS.
Bobbi- why?
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i think it is important for people to realize how much of their perception of the outside world is shaped by the media and to question whether or not we should be forming our opinions on our surroundings based on what we see on the nightly news....a lot of terrible things happen every day and the media can only report on so much of it...whatever the media focuses on will also be focused on by our society...for instance, if the media decided to report on every racially motivated crime then society would probably form the opinion that racism is a big problem...but, if the media were to ignore racially motivated crimes we would have no reason to believe racism is a problem in our society unless we witnessed it first hand...by watching recent media coverage one might be led to believe that violent crime is at an all time high and teen violence is getting out of hand....but what is the reality? "According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Uniform Crime Reports,-- the crime index rate fell for the 6th straight year in 1997, and is down almost 17% from the rate of 1991. (The UCR crime index includes seven offenses: homicide, forcible rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary, larceny-theft, and motor vehicle theft)"
it is very hard (perhaps impossible) to get unbiased information and most
people dont have the time or the patience to even try...what this does is give
the media a lot of power over how we view the world outside of us... "There are some grave moral issues here that need to be dealt with, and the last thing we want is to get the government involved."
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i have to tell you guys something...i am one with the devil and this website is my empire of darkness and evil...i tried to hide it from you but my born again christian cousin found me out...what tipped her off? well, i listen to marilyn manson...pretty stupid of me to admit this, i mean, if youre running a crack house you dont put a sign out front...that would reduce the poperty value of the surrounding homes, lets be thoughtful of our neighbors...even if they do borrow your stuff and never return it....in june 1996 i sold my soul to the devil for $10...i tried to price it at $14.99 but the devil is a stiff bargainer and he happend to have a 30% off coupon valid for the month of june, who would have thought...i even tried to throw in a free water bottle made of unbreakable plastic with a bendable straw and spill-proof top normally worth $35 (prices may vary, some restrictions do apply, offer only valid in 49 states, sorry nebraska) or let him pay in 3 easy installments of $4.99 but he still wouldnt go for the $14.99...maybe i should have thrown in a coffee grinder, damn, hindsight is 20/20...anyways, ever since june 1996 i have been regularly sacrificing chickens and any other small animals i can get my hands on...please dont tell my parents about this, they think our cat died of natural causes...and same with our dog...but let me tell you, that was an accident...kinda...
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why do so many people feel the need to tell me how much/what they drank last weekend and how drunk they got?...yeah, i care how much you drank...why dont you also tell me what you ate for breakfast too..and if it gave you any indigestion, because i find these things interesting...but dude, i drank a 12 pack of beer in 30 minutes...please...if you do some crack or start shooting herion then fine, tell me about it...i do find it interesting when people do things that can potentially ruin their lives...but if youre just doing things that are fun then please dont tell me about them...why cant everyone be miserable like me... no feedback in awhile...im gonna have to start emailing myself again... i u to s bu thn
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i have seen a few interviews with famous people and a common question the interviewer asks is "whats a normal day for you like...whats it like to be (famous persons name here)?"...well, i figured some of you out there might be wondering what a normal day is like for me, whats it like to be lars... nevermind, i was too lazy to finish out this thought...sorry for those who got their hopes up only to have them crushed...
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yeah, a new page...as if i dont have enough here already...but look, this page is different, it has color...that movie i saw yesterday was in fact starship troopers, it was good, i recommend it... have you ever looked at your phone bill?...i dont usually but i did today and MCI is charging me for my long distance phone calls, my "savings plan", taxes, and then $1.78 for "Other Fees"....what the hell is "Other Fees"?...what other thing does MCI do for me besides charge me for long distance phone calls?...i dont get it...
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| [ 5 / 0 5 / 9 9 ] |
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and a new page was born... ever have one of those days where everything goes right and just falls into place?....yeah?....well i havent, so f you...and we dont need you coming here to brag about how god damn good your life is....punk...i just saw this movie about humans going to war with these crazy bugs...sounds like some stupid sci-fi movie doesnt it?...thats what i thought, but ill be damned if i didnt sit thru the whole thing and enjoy it...now im wondering what the name of it was cos i flipped to it while it was already in progress...oh where oh where can my baby be, the lord took her away from me, shes gone to heaven so ive got to be good, so i can see my baby when i leave this world...sorry, that was just a pearl jam song...well, actually its a cover by pearl jam...yeah, so i was thinking maybe this movie was "starship troopers"?...anyone know?...so, schools over...pretty cool, but i didnt do that good this semester, i guess thats what happens when i dont go to class and dont do the homework...hmmm...does this really belong on the "new" page?...maybe i need a new page called something like the "whatever" page because whenever i write something on the current pages i feel like it has to be good...but, if i had a "whatever" page i could update it with total crap and not feel bad...if people complained to me about how bad it was id just be like "umm...whatever"...anyways, this summer im gonna work at my normal job and also help one of my profs with his research in windowed key revocation (dont worry, i dont know what it is either)....hopefully ill go on a couple vacations, colorado and new zealand...youve gotta like that...want to know anything else about my personal life or can i go and be free of your interrogation?
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people, um, whatever.
