A small 2-seater Cessna 152 airplane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

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A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" She exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law."

Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget.

We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system.

We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic

archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.

mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data

to reflect your new standards:

Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, Sleptember, October, November, December.

As well as:

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.

I trust that this is satisfactork, because to be honest, none of the Y to K

problem has made ank sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem,

and our team is glad to help in ank wak possible. And what does the kear

2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do kou think we ought to

do next kear when the two digit kear rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await

kour direction, "and, bk the wak, the cows have all been rebranded also...