A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000

And feels pretty good about the results. On his way home he stops at a

Newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you

don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35", was the reply. "I'm actually 47." the man says happily. A little while later, he

goes to a Mc Donald's and asks the counter girl the same question.

She replies, "I'd guess about 29." The man replies, "Nope, I'm 47." Now he's really feeling good about

himself.

While waiting for the bus home, he asks an old woman the same

question. She replies, "I'm 87 and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there

was a sure way to tell how old a man was. If you let me put my hands down

your pants I can show you. I am sure I can tell exactly how old you are."

"I don't think that's really a good idea," he says.

As they wait in silence on the empty street, the man finally says,

"What the hell, go ahead."

She slips both hands down his pants. After a couple minutes of this

activity he says, "Okay, okay, how old am I?"

She removes her hands and says, "You are 47."

Stunned the man says, "That was amazing, how did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you at the McDonald's"