A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a
fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly
away with the first gun shot" The teacher replies "The
correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking,"

Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are
three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice
cream.The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The
third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is
married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the
one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To
which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with
the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic
"Why?" asks the father. The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?'
I said, '6' "But that's right!" Then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'
"What's the fucking difference?" "That's what I said!"

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy,
can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "of course not."
little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his
friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked
for a show of hands from those who could use the word"beautiful"
in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who
responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she
looked beautiful in it." Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful
banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said."Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at
the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he
said, 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny
passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I
need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing
this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her
moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his
bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a
bike!"