: Duck Hunter

:

: A duck hunter is out one day having no luck. He hunts the

: whole morning and couldn't get a single kill.

:

: On the way home he comes up to a farm house and flying over

: the barnyard is a big flock of fat mallards.

:

: Seeing his last chance for success, he takes aim at what

: looked like the biggest duck in the flock and gave it both

: barrels. The duck fell from the sky and landed in the

: middle of a barnyard.

:

: As the hunter nears the barnyard and the dead duck, he sees

: he's got himself a beauty. But when he is a mere 20 paces

: from the duck, a farmer steps out of the barn, picks up the

: duck and heads for the house.

:

: "Hey!" said the hunter, "Come back with my duck!"

:

: "Your duck?" says the farmer, "It was lying dead in my

: barnyard; it's MY duck."

:

: "No! No! You don't understand!, shouts the hunter, "I shot

: it and it just happened to fall here. It's mine!"

:

: "Okay, city fella. We'll settle this the country way," says

: the farmer.

:

: "Country way? What's that?" says the hunter.

:

: "We take turns hitting each other as hard as we can," says

: the farmer. "Last man standing wins the duck.... That is,

: unless you're Yella."

:

: "Of course I'm not yellow," says the hunter.

:

: "Fine. Country way it is," says the farmer. "Since we're

: on my property, I'll go first."

:

: With that, the farmer takes a half step back, steadies

: himself, and kicks the hunter square in the groin as hard as

: he can.

:

: The hunter gasps, screams like an animal, falls on the

: ground, curls up in a knot, turns 3 shades of purple, and

: nearly dies.

:

: After a full half hour and with considerable difficulty, the

: hunter straightens up, gasps again, and in a high strained

: voice says, "Now... my... turn!

:

: The farmer reply: "Nah, I give up. Here's your duck."

: