Why It's Great to Be A Guy
>
> Phone conversations last 30 seconds
> You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
> A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase
> Bathroom lines are 80% shorter
> You can open all your own jars
> Old friends don't care if you've lost or gained weight
> When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on
> every shot of someone crying
> You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you
> everywhere you go
> You can go to the bathroom alone
> Your last name stays put
> You can leave a hotel room bed unmade
> You can kill your own food
> The garage is all yours
> You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
> You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"
> Cleaning the toilet is optional
> You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
> Wedding plans take care of themselves
> If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can
> still be your friend
> Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3
> None of your coworkers have the power to make you cry
> You don't have to shave below your neck
> You don't have to curl up next to some big, hairy guy every
> night
> If you're 34 and single, no one notices
> Chocolate is just another snack
> You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat
> Flowers and/or Duct Tape fix everything
> You never have to worry about other's feelings
> Three pair of shoes are more than enough
> You can say anything and not worry about what people think
> You can whip your shirt off on a hot day
> Car mechanics tell you the truth
> You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut
> You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy
> thinking "He must be mad at me"
> One mood, all the time
> You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve
> yourself to look like him
> Gray hair and wrinkles add character
> Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100 bucks
> You don't care if someone is talking behind your back
> You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone
> else's
> The remote is yours and yours alone
> You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to
> the bathroom
> If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he
> won't tell your friends you've changed
> If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
> might become lifelong buddies
> The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
> If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a
> hammer and throw it across the room
> New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
> You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog
> is funny
> If you retain water, it is in a canteen