>    Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing
> squad in a small Central American country.
>
>    Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just
> before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!"  The firing
squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the
confusion.
>
>    Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall.  The squad was
> reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed.  Before the
> order was given Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and
Al slipped over the wall.
>
>    The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall.  He was
> thinking, "I see the pattern here; just scream out something about a
> disaster and hop over the wall."  He confidently refused the blindfold
> as the firing squad was reassembled.  As the rifles were raised in his
> direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled,
>
>
>
>
>
>
>    "Fire!"

Latest version of an old joke...

An airplane was about to crash, and there were 5 passengers left, but only
4 parachutes. The first passenger, George W. Bush said, "I'm President of
the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of
nearly 300 million people, and a superpower, etc. I am also the smartest
president ever." So he takes the first parachute, and jumps out of the
plane.

The second passenger, said I'm Antoine Walker, one of the best NBA
Basketball players, and the Boston Celtics need me, so I can't afford to
die. So he takes the second parachute, and leaves the plane.
The third passenger, Hillary Clinton, said "I am the wife of the former
President of the United States and the New York Senator, and I am the
smartest woman in the world." So she takes the third parachute and exits
the plane.

The fourth passenger, the old man, says to the fifth passenger, a
10-year-old boy scout, "I am old and frail and I don't have many years
left, so as a Christian gesture and a good deed, I will sacrifice my
life and let you have the last parachute.

The boy scout said, "It's Ok, there's a parachute left for you. The
world's smartest president took my backpack."

> Top ten times in history when using "*&%#" was appropriate:
> >
> > 10) "What the *&%# was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
> >
> > 9) "Where did all these *&%#ing Indians come from?" - Custer
> >
> > 8) "Any *&%#ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein
> >
> > 7) "It does SO *&%#ing look like her!" \- Picasso
> >
> > 6) "How the *&%# did you work that out?" - Pythagoras
> >
> > 5) "You want WHAT on the *&%#ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo
> >
> > 4) "I don't suppose it's gonna *&%#ing rain." - Joan of Arc
> >
> > 3) "Scattered *&%#ing showers... my ass!" - Noah
> >
> > 2) "I need this parade like I need a *&%#ing hole in my head!" -
> JFK
> >