Subject: 1,2,3,4



After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform.
He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind." And refers him to
a psychiatrist.
After a few visits to the shrink, he confesses, "I am at a loss as to how
you could possibly be cured." Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch
doctor.

The witch doctor says, "I can cure this." He throws some powder on a flame,
and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witch doctor says "This
is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do
is say `123` and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it`s over?" The witch
doctor says "All you or your partner has to say is `1234` and it will go
down. But be warned; it will not work again for a year!"

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the
good news. So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123", and suddenly he
gets an erection.

His wife turns over and says "What did you say `123` for?"

Subject: 90's


Top 15 Signs you've had too much of the 90's

   15. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
   14. You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
   13. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
   12. You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready,
 and he e-mails you back "What's for dinner?"
   11. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
   10. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa,
 but you haven't spoken to your next door
   neighbor yet this year.
   9. Your daughter just bought on CD all the records your college
 roommate used to play that you most despised.
   8. Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom
 of the screen.
   7. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date. And now it
 sells for half the price you paid.
   6. The concept of using real money to make a purchase, instead of
 credit or debit, is foreign to you.
   5. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of
 the back seat of your car.
   4. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do
 not have e-mail addresses.
   3. You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
   2. You refer to your dining room table as the FLAT filing cabinet.
   And the Number 1 sign that you've had too much of the 90's...

   1. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

Subject: Joke


>A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his
>parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen
>cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and
>said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."
>His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to
>repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot
>she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put
>other men's penises in your mouth?"
>
>The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right."
>
>His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around,
>whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain
>about my cooking again!!"