Witty In Seattle

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Frasier: "So are you suggesting that I go along and pretend I'm enjoying myself in something that gives me no pleasure at all just to hear the words I love you?"
Daphne: "Why not? Women have been doing it for centuries."

Niles: "My brother has impeccable taste in wine."
Frasier: "Why, thank you, Niles"
Niles: "It comes from all those years he was shacked up with a barmaid."

Frasier: "You know that Maris loves you, right? But it's still nice to hear it."
Niles: "I imagine it would be, but lets stick to attainable goals!"

Niles: "For example, did you know this very lake is 89 meters deep and boasts 50 varieties of fish!"
Frasier: "Oh, Alex, I'll take bodies of water for $500."

Niles: "I _do_ love Maris. Why, the other week I kissed her for absolutely no reason at all!"

Frasier: "I never thought I'd end up yearning for the bed and bass!"

Frasier: "He's not gay!"
Niles: "He seems to be under that impression."

Niles: "Call me Ishmael!"

Niles: holding his taped-up flour sack "I accidentally ran him through."

Martin: "Remember when we turned off the highway? Well, right down from there is the Bed and Bass Motel!"
Frasier: "Bed and Bass -- ah yes, one of the finer fish-themed motels!"

Niles: "I really am king of the ninnies aren't I?"

Niles: "I dreamt someone kidnapped my baby and they kept sending me muffins in the mail."

Frasier: "Ah, Niles! Look at you! Now are you sure you're going to be warm enough?"
Niles: "No problem there, I dressed in layers: Polo, Eddie Bauer, and Timberland!"
Frasier: "You look like a skinny Elmer Fudd!"

Frasier to member of the Empire Club about Niles: "You'd be hard-pressed to find a bigger snob in the entire room!"

Niles: "Maris can't produce saliva, you see."

Niles: "I had no idea how much I liked fishing until I realized all the shopping involved."

Niles: "...She's lying down on all the coats in the bedroom. Maris tires easily under the pressure of being interesting."

Frasier: (looks at watch)
Martin: "I saw that!"
Frasier: "I'm not bored, I was simply wondering how long we've been sitting here enjoying ourselves."

Niles: "Dad, did you know that Lake Nomohegan was formed by the retreat of several glaciers during the Cenezoic Era?
Fraiser: "Which, coincidentally, is the last time anyone caught a fish in it!"

Frasier in reference to his gay boss: "...I can't understand how he would think that. We only talked about the theatre and fashion...Oh Dear God!"

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Sherri Lynn Slotman, University of Michigan (geena@umich.edu)

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