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	quill "Outrageous Fortune" quotes
Sessions 90-99
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Session 90

"What did Usires do with my crew?" -- Usires to GM
"You are Usires!" -- the rest of the group

"You have all of these guns pointed at you." -- GM
"How many is all?" -- Felix
"About 20." -- GM
"Fuck." -- Felix

"From the looks of him, (Ivan's) probably kin to Dalt, which means we have to kill him." -- Ahab to Deirdre

"I've got bad news for you. Well, not terribly bad, but ungood. Your dad tried to develop space travel last night, and failed." -- Ahab to Foster

"I'm kind of obligated to feel your pain whenever I have to." -- Laughter to Foster

"Do be a dear and stay away from large explosives in the future." -- Tamaryn
"I'll try, but they're so tempting." -- Felix

"I was only helping because (Felix) seemed to want it so bad." -- Tamaryn to Ahab

"When you get back to your room, you notice you don't have a door." -- GM
"I think, 'This is new.'" -- Laughter

Session 91

"Not that I don't trust Nimue, you understand, but I don't trust her." -- Ahab to Fiona

"(Alex) is talking, of course he doesn't mean it." -- Matt to the group

"If you kill yourself now, I can't play with you later." -- Fiona to Ahab

"The Pattern has eaten our daughter. Don't be alarmed." -- Ahab to Kimdyl

"How do (the inhabitants of Foil) have time to develop good cooking, if they kill everyone off?" -- Mebd
"Foreign chefs." -- Reeshau

"It's not my fault that I screwed up a job I was totally unqualified for." -- Bart
"I would advise against taking that tack with Ahab." -- Fiona

"You block (Ivan's) blow, and your arm goes numb." -- GM
"OK, I switch hands." -- Usires

"It's the only thing I've ever figured out." -- Felix to Fiona

Session 92

"I handle (Fiona's pregnancy) with as much grace as Laughterly possible." -- Laughter to GM
"Meaning none." -- Matt

"A couple of the mercenaries you brought in (for Rath's army) look like they could eat babies in sauce." -- GM
"I don't have a problem with this." -- Laughter

"I figure that since everyone can read my mind, I may as well push it out there for everyone to see." -- Laughter to GM

"I hug Beauty a long time, because it would suck if I never saw her again." -- Laughter to GM

"For the game log, does Foster dress right or left?" -- Liam to GM
"The game log doesn't care." -- Kris

"What am I here for?" -- Laughter
"You're to be the brains of the operation." -- Fiona
"Foster pales even more." -- Matt

"It's a battle of wits, Foster, I'm underarmed!" -- Matt to the group, speaking for Laughter

"You hear a noise behind you." -- GM
"Do I turn around?" -- Felix
"You tell me." -- GM

"I'm not political anymore, so you can trust me now." -- Alex to Mebd

"You can't get out (of Dara's Shadow), but you can get in." -- Suhuy
"That's how traps work." -- Laughter

Session 93

"I don't know exactly how to start this." -- Martin
"Start at the beginning, go to the end, stop." -- Ahab

"And all they managed to do was kill Oberon?" -- Ahab to Random

"As long as I'm not dead, I must be doing OK." -- Laughter to the group

"People would stop harassing you nearly as much if you were dead." -- Laughter to Ahab

"I shrug into my undies, and then my chainmail, because getting pinched there would just hurt." -- Ahab to GM

"There's a lot of people I need to kill." -- Ahab to GM

"I suppose I could always get in trouble and have the sword take us back." -- Nicholas
"It takes us back to me!" -- Laughter

"What's 'dead,' Mommy?" -- Haris
"That's when you don't breathe." -- Laughter
"I don't think I can hold my breath that long." -- Haris
"That's why you're dead." -- Laughter

"I assume you like to be shown some modicum of respect?" -- Tamaryn
"Why should you be any different?" -- Ahab

"Ahab is not that psycho, just almost that psycho." -- Jason to the group

"Why do you think you have that power in the first place? Because you can only affect a few people with it." -- GM to Ahab

"Have you ever seen me start hitting people for no reason?" -- Ahab
"Well, if anyone could make you do it, (Bart) could." -- Lyss

"Brew some coffee, I'm using you." -- Ahab to Laughter

Session 94

"But you all wake up in the morning." -- GM
"Shit. I hate that." -- Ahab

"Don't ask men to do anything that will lead to their immediate suicide. It tends to limit their belief in you as king." -- Ahab to GM

"Your interrogations can be rather painful." -- Ahab
"Hmph. I make good tea." -- Fiona

"If I die out of this, I'm going to be very cross with you." -- Fiona to Ahab

"The Serpent has both of its eyes back, and the government in Chaos has been overthrown. Some of this, we wish to fix." -- Ahab to the group

Session 95

"I tell (Tamaryn) that the reason she was so secretive in Shadow was not because she was a demon ninja from Chaos, but because she soils her clothing. And then I smile willingly." -- Felix to GM

"We're going to have to leave some people here to guard things, in case it takes us more than a couple of minutes to show up, kill everyone, and leave." -- Ahab to Benedict, Fiona, Suhuy and Mandor

"I don't want to stay. If I stay, and it all goes to shit, then I have to clean up." -- Ahab to GM

"At least let me know what you're going to do, so I can plan whether you're going to disobey me or not." -- Ahab to Fiona

"It's nothing compared to winning and coming home and finding they'd taken the castle. I mean, all my shit will still be here." -- Ahab to Ariana

"If you don't come back, I'm never speaking to you again." -- Lyss to Bart

"In a matter of minutes, your entire body is covered by a giant scab." -- Liam
"Is it blue?" -- Merrie

"If you suck and swallow, you're going to have problems." -- GM to Laughter

"Ahab is moaning a bit." -- GM
"I am not. As soon as I realize that I'm doing it, I stop." -- Ahab

"Are you all right?" -- Kimdyl
"No, I'm trying to be unconscious, but it's not working." -- Ahab

"What good has the Unicorn done me so far? Here's a sword. There's no one to kill, but here's a sword." -- Ahab to GM

"I thought this job would have more death in it. It's been, like, three days, and I've only killed two or three people." -- Ahab to Corwin, on being King

"It's not everyday that someone gets struck by one of their personal deities." -- Kimdyl to Ahab

"It's a pity I'm not going to stay alive long enough to learn sorcery to make a 'doorknob hit you in the ass' spell." -- Ahab to GM, while watching Caine depart

"Don't you purport to love all your children and descendants equally? How long do you want me to go on hamstringing them, then?" -- Ahab
"Anything you can break, I can fix." -- the Unicorn

"Hey, so what if I use the Word of God on Caine? I won't have to live with the guilt!" -- Ahab to GM

"Didja knock (Kimdyl) up one last time?" -- Merrie
"I hope so...but if she names the kid Ishmael, I'm gonna come back and kill someone." -- Jason

Session 96

"What are you doing here?" -- Alex
"Well, the faeries seem to need my wife for something." -- Foster

"Foster seems oblivious." -- GM
"Oh, now there's a shock." -- Kris

"Foster's being exceptionally charming, which is a side of him you haven't seen before." -- GM
"It's his Vetch side. They can lie." -- Alex
"It certainly isn't from his Felix side." -- Kris

"I don't want to be a widower." -- Foster to Felix

"Tamaryn's her own woman." -- Felix
"I rather thought you were trying to make her yours." -- Foster
"She's trying to make me hers." -- Felix
"Your woman? Well, you do have the skirts." -- Foster
"I grab Foster's face." -- Felix to GM

"If we're going to be living here, we have to have someplace to live. We can't keep living off people's kindness." -- Mebd
"Why not?" -- Alex

"Glamours don't work on me, I'm too stupid." -- Mebd to Alex

"If only Father weren't dead, I could go ask him." -- Alex to GM

"I'm not asking my sister, yet. If (the blackness) gets up to my elbow, then maybe." -- Alex to GM

"Pee break!" -- Laughter to the group, when Suhuy finally stops using the Logrus

"These are all (the Unicorn) could muster?" -- the Serpent
"We thought about bringing a piñata." -- Ahab

"Am I still conscious?" -- Felix
"No." -- GM
"Then I'm going to have a pop." -- Felix

"You're not supposed to mix eldritch sorceries." -- Fiona
"Ah." -- Alex

"Are there more phalluses cheering?" -- Kris
"It's a cock fight." -- Sean

"Felix is now god of the penises." -- GM to the group

"Mandor or bull pops? The evil you know, or the evil you can't even comprehend." -- Matt to the group

Session 97

"Oh, I need my list of things I don't remember." -- Merrie to the group

"You're going to have dreams about your penis talking to you." -- Liam
"It'd better not!" -- George

"Driscoll's not really the father of Iseult, is he?" -- Laughter
"Why, no dear." -- Fiona
"I did a bad thing." -- Laughter

"Twins are supposed to have a certain connection, after all. I lost my hand, you're going to lose yours..." -- Teresa to Alex

"If we're getting invaded, I'm staying in the tree." -- Laughter to GM

"(Foster) brushes the hair out of your face." -- GM
"Don't do that!" -- Laughter
"He puts it back." -- GM

"Why did you pick me?" -- Laughter
"You have a strong will to survive." -- Drumm
"Point out the Amberite who doesn't." -- Laughter
"Ahab." -- Ariana

"I can't believe you actually think you're going to win, or something." -- Merrie to Matt

"Just be quiet, I'm having angst." -- Merrie to Liam

"Driscoll was brainraped by Ahab...He's got a larger mind now, because of that." -- GM
"Well, you know, the swelling." -- Matt

"That's a scene I haven't seen in many centuries." -- Ironclaw
"An Amberite scratching her head?" -- Laughter

"You should have let me keep that chastity belt." -- Laughter
"I don't think that would have done much for our marriage, in the long run." -- Foster

"Are priests always so confusing?" -- Felix to Laughter

"That's not sneaky, 'cause this is me, and this is you." -- Laughter to Ariana

"You wake up in the dark, wearing a skiff." -- GM to Ariana
"She's wearing a small boat?" -- Merrie

"Let's all go posse and kill Zane in Ahab's memory." -- Matt to the group

Session 98

"I warn you, (the cat) has no respect for your private areas." -- GM
"That's OK, neither do I." -- Eric Braun

"I thought that since I was this close to being here, I may as well come here." -- Laughter to Mandor

"Go ahead, blurt out everything to Mandor. You always do." -- Kris
"That's why he lets me live." -- Merrie

"How is Foster taking the news?" -- Mandor
"He broke a tree." -- Laughter

"If (either Foster or Driscoll) kills the other, my problems will be solved. I don't think that will happen." -- Laughter to Felix

"What's Usires doing tonight?" -- GM to George
"The Macarena." -- Liam

"I tell Benedict about the cutlery." -- Alex to GM

"Have you just been talking with Laughter and Driscoll and stuff?" -- Sean
"Yes." -- Kris
"Why else would she drink?" -- Merrie

"What happened to Foster?" -- Felix
"He did something stupid." -- Ariana
"That runs in the family." -- Foster

"I didn't exactly have time to date when I was in assassin's school, Dad." -- Foster to Felix

"The hills are alive, with the sound of strangers." -- Ronan to the group

"Does earning my keep consist of daily beatings?" -- Driscoll
"I don't know. I probably should have checked." -- Laughter

"You can force a man to do voluntary action." -- Laughter to Ariana

"My tongue was in his mouth before he figured out I was coming on to him." -- Laughter to Ariana

"You were very likely born into a Dukedom of Amber." -- Mandor
"Ew." -- Ronan

"My liege? (Mandor's) not my liege. My liege is fucking dead when I get back." -- Ronan to the group

"Tell me what good harming you would do me?" -- Mandor
"Give you a few minutes of pleasure and a spring in your step?" -- Felix

"This is not good. This is not good at all. I was hoping that I was merely daft." -- Ronan to GM

Session 99

"I'm just apparently too stupid to live." -- Merrie to the group

"I gave up on genocide...when I realized the faeries were more powerful than me." -- Laughter to GM

"Pax is certainly a drooly little child." -- Felix to Foster

"Wait, Usires is going to be Jackie's guide to Amber?" -- Kris to the group

"You're going to handle that whole puberty thing, right?" -- Foster
"No, actually I was thinking of letting (Iseult) muddle through it on her own." -- Laughter

"You're talking to the wrong person about lacy, doily things." -- Felix to Bridget

"It's a pretty piss-poor torture session when the prisoner gets M&M's for every right answer." -- Sean
"It would work on Laughter." --Merrie
"It would work on Laughter?" -- Sean
"But cookies would work better." -- Merrie

"You'd expect a little more open-mindedness from a man who wears a skirt." -- Laughter to Foster, referring to Felix

"Foster raped Driscoll?" -- Ariana
"Sort of, except Driscoll was willing." -- Laughter

"Can we get back to the discussion where Vetch fucked his grandson?" -- Liam to GM

OF Unicorn
"Outrageous Fortune"
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Done by Kris Fazzari.

Last modified on September 13, 1998 by Kris Fazzari.