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	quill "Outrageous Fortune" quotes
Sessions 60-69
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Session 60

"Ooh, there's the left thingie. And the right thingie." -- Felix to Ariana

"It would be like having Eris, but closely related." -- Felix to Ariana

"I never actually went in, I just watched." -- Laughter to ?, referring to the bathroom

"And then (Foster) told me he can forge my handwriting." -- Felix
"Anyone can forge your handwriting, Felix." -- Ahab

"Did Nicholas grope your chest or something?" -- Felix to Ahab

"Felix talks to himself and loses." -- Sean to the group

"Mind altering drugs are probably not a good thing when you have power cosmic." -- Felix to Foster

"It's like, when Rinaldo says 'Let's open the pits of Hell!', it's hard to say no." -- Foster to Felix

"I could grow claws and rip the flesh off of your arm." -- Foster
"Yeah, but I'd be peeved with you if you did that." -- Felix

"I know there's a lot of dragons, therefore I am wary." -- Laughter to Ahab

"No one's hurting me, so I have to hurt myself." -- Ahab

"I'm sorry, my mind escapes me." -- Laughter to Ironclaw

Session 61

"Can I ride on your tail?" -- Laughter to Ironclaw (once again)

"Anything you need while we're in town?" -- Laughter to Ironclaw (sensing a pattern?)

"You look constipated. Perhaps some juice?" -- Barnabas to Bart

"So, do any contact with any castle pages by the well back in Amber?" -- Laughter to Driscoll

"But we're Amberites, we can have it whenever we want." -- Mirelle to Ariana

"You realize that you're trapped in a cycle of abuse." -- Lyss
"Yeah, but I don't seem to mind." -- Ahab

Session 62

"I'm only going to contact one more person. Then we're going to have to go to plan B, which I don't have yet." -- Laughter to GM

"(Fiona) might say, 'Ooh, morning breath!' and fry my brain or something." -- Felix
"Well, if you'd like to brush your teeth, by all means..." -- Laughter

"Bit early for you, isn't it?" -- Barnabas
"I wasn't aware that I had a season." - Bart

"Hello, Felix, I've come to bury the hatchet." -- Mirelle
"Mother!" -- Felix

"Down Sequence." -- Laughter to Sequence, who is being stepped on by a dragon

"Separate me from Sequence and what have you got? An Amberite who doesn't cook." -- Laughter to Clytemnestra

"Go ahead, kill me, all the problems of my life would be, like, over. OK, don't kill me, I'm mostly saying that on bravado." -- Laughter to Clytemnestra

"I see why (Driscoll) likes you now." -- Clytemnestra
"Because my mind is easy to control?" -- Laughter

"What would you be doing with yon dragon?" -- GM
"Just passing by." -- Usires

"I saw Brand lay (Fiona) down, arrange her, and spread rose petals around. This is why I think he did it." -- Laughter to Benedict

"I think it would be wise to go back to the planning phase." -- Ahab to Bart, in response to Bart's plan to invade Dara's ways to find Ariadne

Session 63

"I'm not late, I've just been listening outside the window." -- Matt
"Oh, you're in character." -- Sean

"You've got half of Chaos here, and you're worried about a guy in a bearskin cloak?" -- Laughter to Ariana, at Ariana's wedding

"I'm thinking of my reputation." -- Kimdyl
"You married me. It's too late now." -- Ahab

"I don't know if I'm ready for that, yet." -- Foster
"Foster, there comes a time when you have to do something stupid." -- Ahab

"You two are smooth like legos." - Jason to Merrie, referring to Laughter and Foster

"Put any Amberite in a skirt and it all goes to Hell." -- Merrie to the group

"Laughter would have a slit in the dress, for ease of access. For the sword, for the sword." -- Merrie to the group

"I'm using my head. Not at the moment, but periodically." -- Ahab to Laughter

"People still listen to me occasionally. Not the smart ones." -- Ahab to Foster

"Well, Fiona said there are esoteric things in the castle, so I'm looking for them." -- Laughter to GM

"You can't outrank your father." -- Barnabas
"You can if he's presumed dead." -- Bart

"I don't like being put into the position of having to trust people I know nothing about." -- Llewella to Laughter
"We're cool people." -- Sequence

"There's three sides to my personality: The Amberite who can't cook, the Amberite with a sword, and the Amberite who fears dragons. Which of these would you rather have?" -- Laughter
"I can teach you how to cook." -- Fiona

"I only teleported (Sequence) to a magic destroying pool. It should be fine." -- Bart to Martin

"The sword's really mellow now." -- Martin
"Yeah, now I'm happy to kill you." -- Sequence

"OK, sure I'll marry you. I just wanted to make sure there wasn't a spell on you." -- Laughter to Foster

"If (Jordan) looked just like me, we'd be identical." -- Laughter to Ariana

"I've gone through life convinced that I have a death wish, but obviously I'm just a guppy." -- Ahab to Bart

Session 64

"Given Nicholas' ancestry, he should be able to Pattern teleport by age ten." -- Ahab
"Well, there's still that goal of getting one to walk it in utero." -- Lyss

"Damn it, he's made me mad. I'm marrying you now whether you want me to or not!" -- Foster to Laughter

"Didn't I just get a lecture for doing stupid stuff without telling you?" -- Foster
"Well, I'm telling you!" -- Laughter

"So, which hand do you hit the wall with, Felix?" -- GM to Felix
"His boy-beatin' hand." -- Sean

"What's turned off?" -- George
"Logrus. Kimdyl used to take Ahab and bounce him on the head..." -- GM
"Ah. Foreplay." -- George

"Uncle." -- Ahab
"Cur." -- Brand

"What do you think the little thing running around our quarters is?" -- Kimdyl
"I assumed it was some arcane remnant of a death curse." -- Ahab

"Maybe I think faster now, so I feel slower." -- Sequence

"Martin seemed to be in pain, and then he asked me to hit him." -- Usires
"A kindred spirit." -- Ahab

"That's some fucking glue." -- Ahab, after pulling Sequence out of the anvil it was glued into, only to find pieces of the anvil still stuck to it

"Rape counts as rape, but touching my ass doesn't matter much." -- Laughter to the group

"It's a good thing Foster doesn't have legs anymore, because it's going to take me a while to get over this rape thing." -- Laughter
"Your optimism is appalling." -- Fiona

"Fuck the Unicorn!" -- Ahab
"That's what got us into this whole mess." -- Merrie

Session 65

"And you won't, of course, mind explaining what you said." -- Random to Alex
"That costs extra. Sorry." -- Jason

"There's no one in the Great Hall, except for Shard, who is looking confused." -- GM to ?
"And this is different from his normal expression, how?" -- Kris

"I take it you're not well enough to cast spells?" -- Ahab
"I never could." -- Lyss

"For his next trick, Ahab is going to Trump Corwin. I need a cheap feeling of superiority right now." -- Jason to the group

"Do I take it you find yourself inconvenienced by the situation?" -- Ahab to Deirdre, as she's being interrogated by Nazis

"If I do this right, the guy in front shouldn't have time to react. On the other hand, Ahab never does anything right." -- Jason to the group

"Felix tells you everything he knows, you mock him, and then you leave." -- Sean to the group

"You might want to track down Bartholomew, or any others you can find." -- Random
"I wanted to limit this posse to people I can trust." -- Ahab

"How are we leaving?" -- Felix to Ahab
"Where are we going?" -- Usires to Ahab

"Is Kimdyl going to reach out with the Logrus and grab the Jewel shards?" -- Felix to Ahab
"Are you nuts?!" -- Kimdyl

"Sorry about this, but you all have to hold hands." -- Rinaldo
"Well, as long as no one takes pictures or demands a group hug." -- Ahab

"My two best guesses: (The thing in the pool) is either the Jewel of Judgment or something with glowing red eyes." -- Ahab to GM

"Yes, you do have breasts." -- GM
"I quit." -- Ahab

"I would say that you've changed gender." -- Rinaldo
"I noticed that, thank you." -- Ahab

"I don't suppose you know how to undo this shit?" -- Ahab
"Not unless you want to be a pig." -- Alex
"Don't tell my wife that that's an option." -- Ahab

"Ahab shows the Jewel to Kimdyl." -- Jason to GM
"It's the only jewels you've got left!" -- Sean

Session 66

"Are (Foster's) legs nice?" -- Laughter
"They're much like his old legs, only shiny and metallic." -- GM
"No, I meant personality-wise." -- Laughter

"I always find (traveling by Logrus) very amusing, actually. Wait, have I ever traveled by Logrus?" -- Laughter to Ariana

"I was under the impression that you felt remorseful about killing Calamus." -- Ariana
"Well, I take it all back." -- Laughter

"You see, both Riftvan and Mandor can fry my brain, but I like Riftvan." -- Laughter to Ariana, Foster and Riftvan

"This (Trump) takes us where we're going then? I guess it does, or you wouldn't be giving it to me." -- Felix to Ariana

"Except for the latest person who tried to rape me. Except he's the only one." -- Laughter to Foster

"You seem to have startled me." -- Usires to Ironclaw

"Hey, I can edit Laughter's brain anytime I wish." -- GM to the group

"You're not as good at shitting in your pants as the other ones were." -- Ironclaw
"Years of practice." -- Ahab

"I thought it was going to take a while before you were ready (for sex)." -- Foster
"Well, yes, but I want to be sure." -- Laughter

"I'll go light something. Like, you know, a light." -- Laughter to GM

"(Driscoll) had children with my Shadow? Fuck me!" -- Laughter to the group

"So you're doing this spell, without doing any research?" -- GM
"Well, I'm researching it now." -- Laughter

"I'm happy, as long as I'm not throwing up." -- Ariana to GM

"How's (Felix's) lung doing?" -- Ariana
"Sucking." -- GM

"(I) try Ghostwheel's Trump." -- Ahab
"There's no answer." -- GM
"Well, fuck (Ghostwheel), anyway." -- Ahab

"(Laughter and I) are having a long conversation over the unconscious bodies of our loved ones." -- Ahab to GM

Session 67

"How is the war against the Hendrakes going?" -- Alex
"Poorly." -- GM
"Stupid King." -- Alex

"Ahab's busy contemplating annihilating the universe and calling it a mercy killing." -- Jason to GM

"It's not the baby, it's the hormones." -- GM to Laughter
"Make psychic contact with your hormones and tell them to shut up." -- Jason

"All (Alex) has to do is summon Mebd and bind her to (him)." -- Liam
"I've thought about that." -- Matt

"(Nicholas) is studying, (Ahab) shouldn't interrupt him." -- Kris
"Yes (he) should, (Ahab) doesn't want him growing up to be smart." -- Jason

"Being dead would be more than just a serious problem." -- Ahab to Nicholas

"Stop looking like a Jesby in the headlights." -- Llewella to Bart

"Bart's a real momma's boy, um girl, whatever." -- Matt to the group

"Dara's moving up the list. Not of people to kill, but people to avoid. People to get someone else to kill." -- Alex to GM

"Does that mean you're mad?" -- Laughter
"What?" -- Mandor
"That whole eye thing." -- Laughter

"In Chaos, appearance is everything." -- Mandor
"I'll stay in Amber." -- Laughter

"Laughter is so stupid!" -- Merrie to the group

"Any pain that you cause me, I choose to feel." -- Laughter
"That's a side to Fiona that I was not aware of." -- Mandor
"I'm pretty sure that's not from Fiona." -- Laughter

"You should lay eggs." -- Clytemnestra to Ariana, commenting on her morning sickness

"Guess what, Grandpa, I've gotten Fiona's daughter pregnant." -- Felix paraphrasing Foster to Gérard

"Foster shares more information with trees than he does with me." -- Felix to Gérard

"What is this, the blind leading the dumb?" -- GM, referring to Laughter and Felix

"I am still male, right?" -- Ahab to GM

(Kimdyl) doesn't bust you in the chops, so you think you're doing OK." -- GM to Ahab

"The naughty boy detector in (Ahab's) chin is going off." -- Sean to the group

Session 68

"I sneak back and leave a lethal package outside of (Ariana's) door." -- Ahab
"And what would that be?" -- GM
"Nicholas, in a box with a bow." -- Liam

"If you're going to sit around and only say nice things about my son, I'm going to ask you to leave." -- Ahab to Beauty

"When Bartholomew's around, there are many clean asses and boots." -- Sean to the group

"There's no longer any need to kill the King's son. Can you help me hide the body?" -- Bart to Laughter

"There, it did it again. That can't be good." -- Bart to Laughter, about the noise Martin's personality chip makes when he removes and reinserts it

"Not Driscoll. I killed his brother, I really don't want him in on this." -- Bart
"Well, you're fucked, I can't help you." -- Laughter

"Are you going to be buried (in Amber)?" -- Laughter
"Well, they won't take me in Rebma, given that I killed the Crown Prince. Mother will be mad." -- Bart

"(Martin) appears to be breathing." -- Ariana
"Yes." -- Laughter
"Was he breathing before?" -- Ariana
"Well, yes." -- Laughter
"A small hint. When people are breathing, they are not dead." -- Ariana

"I'm leaving you." -- Laughter to Bart
"What?" -- Foster
"No, I'm leaving Bartholomew." -- Laughter
"You've been having an affair with Bartholomew?" -- Foster

"Walking the Pattern is not like talking to Mandor." -- Laughter to Foster

"Gee, I no longer want to be a trained assassin, and my fiancée is trying to talk me out of it?" -- Foster
"Well, what are you going to do if you're not an assassin?" -- Laughter

"Now, I just have to defeat Vetch in combat, and I'm free (of the House)." -- Foster
"Foster, if you're dead, I won't marry you." -- Laughter

"Foster Vetch, you've misled me in everything since we've met." -- Laughter to Foster
"Welcome to the club of sleeping with a Vetch." -- Kris

"I thought I had killed Martin. I was mistaken." -- Bart to Benedict
"You feel the need to explain further." -- GM

"I did not kill your son. Nor did I mean to." -- Bart to Random

"I have my four-point armor on, so (Foster) can only behead me." -- Laughter to GM

"Once I've beaten the snot out of (Foster), I'll make up with him." -- Laughter to GM

"Oh, (the cause) was not Ahab and Kimdyl?" -- Alex to everyone investigating Laughter's ball-lightning

"When are you going to learn to think?" -- Ahab
"I wasn't aware that you found it that necessary a skill." -- Laughter

"Laughter, puke twice if you understand." -- Ahab
"Ahab, fuck you!" -- Laughter

"(Foster's) my son. (Laughter's) just this woman who wakes me up in the middle of the night." -- Felix to GM

"I don't want to hurt (Nicholas), I just want to cause him pain." -- Vivienne to Felix

Session 69

"You come out the other side, minus the Chaos ambassador." -- GM to the group
"Damn, we've got to use that Trump more often." -- Sean

"Laughter's not that smart, and neither am I." -- Merrie to GM

"The bar seems to be a collection of every low-life in this Shadow." -- GM
"Then Martin's body must be here somewhere." -- Bart

"You wake up to someone patting your face." -- GM
"Is it someone I know?" -- Laughter
"I don't know. Are you going to open your eyes and find out?" -- GM

"The others didn't make it, Laughter." -- "Ahab"
"When you say they didn't make it, you mean the others are in a different holding cell, right?" -- Laughter

"If I wanted to chop (Foster's) head off, I would have done it." -- Merrie
"You tried to flambé him with lighting." -- Sean
"That's different." -- Merrie

"Do I remember having morning sickness?" -- Laughter
"No." -- GM
"Is that because I don't remember any mornings?" -- Laughter

"I've got no plan, but I've got some things to do." -- Laughter to GM

"Why did (Laughter) have to be the one who is free?" -- Kris
"Because she's the least qualified." -- Sean

"That's the most intelligent thing you've said so far." -- "Ahab"
"I actually like this guy." -- Laughter

"If I don't tell you my plan, I won't have to kill you." -- "Ahab"
"Good point, I'll live in ignorance." -- Laughter
"When haven't you, my dear?" -- "Ahab"

"If you are tall, dark and handsome, why are you in Ahab's body?" -- Laughter to "Ahab"

"I have great faith in Foster's ability to not be dead. To not be what he seems, in fact." -- Laughter to "Ahab"

"Feed me to a dragon. I dare you. It's never been done before." -- Laughter to "Ahab"

"I have no idea what I'm looking for, but I'll know if I find it." -- Laughter to GM

"Ariana? I had hoped I would never have you between my legs." -- Laughter to Ariana

"It's been one hell of a day. Corwin's going to be King of Amber, and Ahab has breasts." -- Laughter to Ariana

OF Unicorn
"Outrageous Fortune"
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Done by Kris Fazzari.

Last modified on September 13, 1998 by Kris Fazzari.