oh well, on with the show! following, is what i lovingly 
refer to as :

Not Necessarily the Game Log

(session four): 
	Benedict leaves our intrepid cast of players in the 
Great Hall of Amber  under the supervision of several guards 
who shortly become extremely concerned with the status of 
their necks as one of their charges (Ariana) shrieks and 
disappears. While Alex and Heather examine the tapestries, 
Ahab entertains the nervous guards by loudly proclaiming that 
while Eric may in fact be Lord Protector he is not, in Ahab's 
view, the King.  
	Eric questions Ahab first.  
	Whilst Ahab casually informs the Ki...er, Lord Protector 
that Brand has been released ("He was captured?"), a 
magically-charged, spherical, metallic, heat-seeking pecker-
wrecker flies through the library window and explodes all 
over Ahab, causing some slight damage to himself and a stack.  
With quick thinking and forethought, Ahab manages to protect 
the books from further damage by inserting his own body 
between the falling mass of literature and the hard stone 
floor.  
	Felix hears the explosion and, with a nasty suspicion 
that somehow only Ahab could be involved, races to the 
library.  Alex is told that he cannot follow as the guards do 
not recognize him.  With a startling display of Chaos 
ingenuity, Alex responds with, "I'm Alex.  Hi."  He continues 
to wait with Heather.  
	Eric, Felix, and Benedict assist Ahab, who awakens in 
order to accuse Brand for the Mandor-ball and inform Eric 
that while he wouldn't mind too terribly if someone set his 
arm, he would appreciate if said someone would be careful 
with his shirt, it's satin don't you know.  Deciding that 
they liked Ahab a lot more when he was unconscious, Eric and 
Benedict descend to the Great Hall, in large part to get away 
from him.  
	There, Benedict points out the Chaos-scum, and Eric has 
Alex shown to the castle's spacious basement guest rooms.  
Driscoll is dragged back to the library with them, after 
wisely taking the opportunity to piss off Eric by releasing 
his pet dragon/clothes pin Verdegris.  Heather continues to 
insist that she is rather too excited by all of this and 
could someone please direct her to the nearest lavratory.  
Observing the redness of her hair, however, they cleverly 
decide that they shouldn't believe her.  
	While Ahab swears to kill Brand and asks Eric if "the 
bitch is under guard", Driscoll slips Felix a card of 
Ariadne.  After asking Eric with characteristic politeness 
not to throw Driscoll in a cell, Ahab leaves with the 
assistance of Felix.  
	Everyone in the castle hears the screams which accompany 
Driscoll's questioning.  
	Well, not everyone.  The two guards leading Alex to the 
dungeon have be this time decided two things:  the stairway 
to the basement is much too long, and the Chaosite never 
shuts the fuck up.  
	Ahab displays the tenacity for which pit bulls are 
famous (if not quite achieving their intellect) by deciding 
that, wounded and drunk as he is, he must be a nosy, busy-
body buttinsky.  As Driscoll is led away by guards, Ahab 
declares that this sort of thing would never happen if more 
people would just accept the fact that he is always right and 
do exactly as he says.  After listening to Ahab's view of 
events, and wisely contrasting them with Felix's, Eric 
decides that nobody very much likes Heather and devises the 
brilliant plan of asking her why not.  
	Heather, deciding that Eric and Benedict do not look to 
be extremely tolerant at the moment, tell Eric that not only 
is she Brand's daughter but she doesn't know him or Driscoll 
very well and, after all, Ahab had informed her that Eric 
wasn't really king.  Believing only the last part, but not 
considering it worthwhile to pursue the rest, Eric asks for 
her Trump.  She gives him one half and later gives the rest 
to Flora who was then assigned the task of humiliating 
Heather with her poise and beauty.  Properly humbled, Heather 
quietly allows herself to be locked in a room.  
	Alex, meanwhile, uses his shape-shifting creatively and 
makes the guards believe he has escaped when in fact he was 
merely hanging around.  He finds Driscoll and, on the grounds 
that no one would think to look there, they decide to flee to 
Finch Manor, forgetting that it is apparently Ahab's favorite 
place to be.  
	Back at Castle Amber, Felix wonder if maybe he should do 
something, and Ahab wonders why he ever got out of bed--it 
looks so very good to him now.  
	Meanwhile, Alex and Driscoll arrive in Finch Manor, and 
while Driscoll sleeps, Alex engages in exploration, his 
favorite pastime.  He meets Medb,  who declares indignantly 
that he didn't knock, which he then proceeds to rectify; she 
serves him breakfast.  
	Personally, this chronicler hates good stuff 
characters...  
	The Gatekeeper asks Alex about Heather, then leaves to 
attend the horses.  
	Back in Amber, Ahab wakes up with a righteous anger, 
righteous attitude, and righteous hangover.  Felix tells him 
to go back to bed, and to everyone's surprise he does. Felix 
goes to breakfast and chats with Flora, who is rather 
unfortunately the only other Amberite present.  He learns 
that she is stressed, Eric's pissed, Heather's polite, he's 
to remain in Amber, and oh yes Eric wants to see him.  They 
decide that Felix had best wait 'till after noon some time.  
Felix also finds out from the guards that Alex and Driscoll 
have escaped.  He decides to go sailing with Gerard.  
	Meanwhile, Heather is awakened by the voice of Henry, 
her Gatekeeper.  He claims that this strange guy sent him 
here to fetch her.  She seems to be more interested in why he 
isn't decrepit and retired the way she remembered him.  He 
throws a Mandor-ball at her, and she arrives abruptly at 
Finch Manor.  She screams, and Alex and Medb rush to her aid.  
Thus properly met, the three sit down for breakfast.  
	Ahab decides that it is time to get busy again, and he 
finds Eric, Benedict, and Caine in the library.  Deciding to 
make his life unpleasant, Eric tells him to monitor Corwin.  
With typical subtlety, Ahab trumps Corwin, but his uncle is 
busy.  After bullying several guards, he learns that Corwin 
is with Dierdre.  Jealous and a bit alarmed, he trumps her, 
and she agrees to help him destroy any cover he might have 
had in this matter.  That accomplished, he proceeds to look 
for Zero, his mount, who--as anyone familiar with Finch Manor 
could guess--is residing currently in Heather's stable.  
	Felix, returned from sailing, meets Ahab on the way out.  
Upon finding Eric and Caine in the War Room, Felix tells Eric 
absolutely everything he knows.  Eric sends him off to find 
Ahab, thus answering the timeless question "Who watches the 
watchman?"  It's Felix.  
	Meanwhile, having found his horse, Ahab remains 
unsatisfied, and so he decides to search Finch Manor (of 
course, of course).  Displaying that hospitality for which 
the Irish are noted, Heather shoots him before he can enter.  
Ahab decides that being hanged, drawn, and quartered is too 
good for her, and so he merely draws her.  Alex, Medb, and 
Driscoll come to join the fun, which is stopped by the 
presence of a Mandor-ball which is now menacing Ahab.  
Surprisingly enough, Mandor himself arrives.  Recognizing the 
sorcerer, Alex agrees with absolutely everything he says.  
Recognizing the ball, Ahab agrees with absolutely everything 
he says.  Recognizing that Heather is bleeding to death, 
Driscoll attempts to replace her innards where they'll stop 
staining the rug.  
	About this time, Felix shows up, and he helps Driscoll 
to convince Ahab that he could maybe use some medical 
attention, while Mandor sneaks off with Heather and Medb.  
Felix, Driscoll, Ahab, and Alex return to Amber in the 
Kin...er, Eric's good graces, and the two visitors are given 
much more comfortable rooms.  
	Felix decides to eat.  
	Heather wakes up in great pain, and Medb informs her 
that Mr. Mandor left a pain reliever for her.  She takes it 
anyway and returns to blissful, drugged unconsciousness.  
	Felix checks on his relatives:  Eric and Corwin are 
arguing in the library ("My chin's bigger!"  "No, mine!"), 
Driscoll is hiding in the safety of his room, Verdegris 
(Driscoll's dragon, remember) steals Felix's ribbon, Gerard 
is practicing his cross-stitch on Ahab's arm, Ahab is 
unconscious, Alex is confusing.  Apparantly feeling at home 
with him, Felix gives Alex a brief tour of the castle, which 
Alex later supplements with some independent study.  
	The next morning, Alex and Flora put everyone off their 
appetites by dancing a dizzying verbal minuet.  Felix and 
Driscoll watch in awe and revulsion, while Ahab fumes because 
no one will listen to him.  Finally, Flora leaves, and Ahab 
demands a bed-time story of Alex ("Tell me 'bout the dirty 
old man and his pretty white horsey!").  Alex informs him in 
so many words that he does not know any appropriate for 
children and that it is breakfast, which is not in fact bed-
time anyway.  Felix leaves and returns momentarily with 
Caine, who doggedly refuses to remain missing in action.  

	They arrive to hear Ahab and Alex arguing about what 
size brush is best suited for drawing Patterns.  
Appropriately, Felix nukes the conversation by remarking 
casually on Corwin and Eric's fight last night.  Caine 
leaves, and Ahab tries to trump Corwin, who may be stupid but 
can still out-psyche his nephew.  Ahab then trumps Dierdre, 
who agrees that this is a "bad thing."  Alex takes the 
opportunity to mosey on down to check out the Pattern, 
presumably to get a better idea of the piece's value as 
slighty damaged merchandise.  
	Heather wakes up and, finding that she has no clothing, 
decides that this would be an excellent time to meet Mr. 
Mandor.  eh, not too bad, from this end. still...  see y'all 
next week. in the meantime watch for the session four 
scorecard, coming soon to a terminal near you!