Chapter Ninety-nine:  "You'd expect a little more open-mindedness from a
man who wears a skirt."

	Not long after Pax is born, Laughter has a nervous breakdown,
brought on by postpartum depression, the deaths she witnessed while facing
the Serpent, and the months of bitterness between Foster and Driscoll.
She winds up breaking some dishes, then running away from everyone.
Eventually, she exhausts herself, falls to the ground, and cries for a
good long time.  This has a rather therapeutic effect on her, and she
returns home much calmer.

	Shortly after Laughter's breakdown, Foster and Driscoll tell her
that they are going to spend the afternoon together, and swear that there
will be no bloodshed.  She's invited to watch, if she doesn't believe
them.  She lets them go, and spends the afternoon worrying.  They return
with no obvious injuries, and a weight seems to have been lifted from
them, but Driscoll has trouble sitting at dinner, so Laughter demands to
know what happened.  After much questioning, she finally learns that
Foster punished Driscoll for transgressing against Laughter's marriage
vows, in a manner that sealed Driscoll's respect for Foster's dominance.
Laughter argues that she isn't property, but this doesn't seem to matter
to either of them.  Laughter inquires as to what punishment was used, and
learns that Foster punished Driscoll in the same manner that he was
punished when he was being trained as an assassin.  Namely, he made
Driscoll submit to anal sex.  Apparently it's the most humiliating
punishment Foster knows.  And now that he's asserted his dominance over
Driscoll, he's willing to reconsider Driscoll's place in the family.
Laughter is less than pleased by all of this.

	Felix pays a visit to Rath, about three months after Pax's birth.
He plays with Iseult, tossing her up and down for a while.  Then he hefts
her and tells Foster to go long.  Foster takes Iseult away and tells her
that Haris is in her toy chest.  She runs off, followed by Laughter.
Foster grumbles that now he'll have to toss Iseult.  Felix calls him old.
Foster claims that he's now 2,000 years old.  Felix threatens to tell
Laughter.  Foster threatens to tell Isabeux of Felix's Wild Hunt
escapades.  He's still got pictures.  Felix claims that Isabeux won't
believe the pictures.  Foster's got witnesses, too.  Ariana was even
sober.  And he could tell Tamaryn.  Felix likes this not at all.  Foster
suggests that Felix get back to Amber, before someone misses him.  Felix
says goodbye to Laughter, who invites him to stay for dinner before he
goes.

	Ariana asks Riftvan if he can undo what he did to Nicholas. 
Unfortunately, it's been so long, that he probably can't.  Can Nicholas
walk the Pattern, anyway?  Has she ever been so afraid of something that
she couldn't move?  Not yet.  Well, if she ever wants to see that, just
take Nicholas to the Pattern room.  The sight of the Pattern will paralyze
him with fear, to the extent that even if he were placed on it, he
wouldn't be able to move, even to save himself.  Oh.  Riftvan could sneak
Nicholas into the Logrus, though.  Ariana figures now is not the best time
for the Crown Prince to be Logrus mad.  She thinks Riftvan should at least
talk to Nicholas about trying to undo the phobia, since it's possible he
might be able to lessen it, over time.  Right, and get tossed in the
dungeon?  He'll do it if Nicholas promises permanent safe passage.  Ariana
doubts Nicholas will grant that sort of carte blanche, but maybe she can
get a one-time offer.  That would be acceptable.  What are his future
plans?  He'd like to establish a residence in Middlecourt, if she doesn't
mind.  Ariana has no objections to that.  It's not like they have much to
move, given that most of their belongings were in Chaos.  She asks what
happened to her people there.  Put to the sword, most likely, or taken as
slaves.  Ariana wants to know which, since she feels responsible for them. 
He thinks he can find that out.  She shows him an image of the Shadow
Miranda was brought to, and asks if he knows where it is.  He recognizes
it as being near Daraways.  Ariana explains that she and Usires want to
free someone who may be a prisoner there.  Riftvan wants to know why. 
Ariana explains that Miranda was taken prisoner because she was helping
Usires, and she doesn't deserve to be trapped in a strange Shadow for the
rest of her life because of that.  Riftvan doesn't understand why Ariana
cares, since Miranda is only a common worker.  Ariana feels responsible
for what's happened to her, since she was only taken because she was
helping a family member.  Riftvan thinks she just needs something to worry
about.  Ariana offers to give him a more Machiavellian reason, if he
likes, but then he pisses her off, so she says she won't tell it to him. 
He says he didn't think she could come up with a reason, anyway.  This
fails to convince her to reveal the reason.

	Laughter asks Driscoll and Foster what they are going to do once
they return to Amber.  Driscoll and Foster exchange glances, and the
Driscoll leaves.  Foster tells her that he understands the feelings she
has for Driscoll, and he knows how much she loves him, so if she wants the
three of them to handfast, that's OK.  If she doesn't want to, though,
that's fine, too.  He knows Driscoll will never intentionally hurt her
again.  Laughter says she knows Driscoll will always be close to the
family, because of Pax, but if he wants no other part in the family, she's
willing to let him go with no regrets.  On the other hand, if he's going
to remain with them, it has to be all the way, as an equal partner in the
marriage.  Foster has to decide which he wants it to be.  Once he's made
up his mind, they'll either tell Driscoll to move on, or offer him the
opportunity to join them.  Whatever Foster's decision is, she wants the
matter settled before they go back to Amber.  She assures him that he is
more than enough to make her happy, so he needn't make this a sacrificial
decision.  Sharing with more than one person could be enjoyable, though.
She asks if she needs to slow down Rath so he can Trump someone for
advice.  He gives her a loving look and tells her that the person he needs
to talk to is already in the Shadow.

	Usires continues working on the ships.  He notices that the people
working with him are now more distant, and seem to be more conscious of
his rank.  Just after noon, he sees the masts of several ships entering
the harbor, flying Caine's standard.  A cheer goes up, and Caine bows. 
Caine tells Usires that he is way too busy to take care of introducing his
daughter to Amber, so Usires is about to learn what sibling rivalry is all
about.  Never mind your other plans...this is MUCH more important.  Usires
is nonplussed, to say the least.  Caine asks what other projects he's
working on.  Going after Miranda.  Well, Jaquee can come with them.  And
the other?  Interrogating the prisoner.  What prisoner?  Usires explains
about the men who attacked him.  Caine suggests that Usires interrogate
the prisoner before he leaves.  Usires tries to needle him about his
betrothal to Jalana, but Caine isn't bothered.  The future changes, after
all.  Especially given the fact that both of the kings who arranged the
match are dead.  Usires grabs a quick drink at a tavern, then heads back
to the castle.

	Driscoll and Foster tell Laughter that they've decided to be a
happy threesome.  Oh, goody.  Foster has a habit of calling Pax "Spud,"
which annoys Laughter.  She and Foster discuss the kids.  He's worried
about how Iseult keeps running around without a shirt on.  Laughter
figures she'll grow out of it.  Foster says he'll let Laughter to deal
with Iseult when she reaches puberty.  Laughter plans to let her muddle
through on her own.  Hey, it worked for her, didn't it?  No comment.  They
pack up the kids and Trump back to Amber.  Driscoll leaves to check on the
dragon-riders, while Foster and Laughter take the kids down to lunch.

	Mirelle and Anne return with Ariana's kids.  Riftvan plays with
them for a bit, then takes the boys aside and talks quietly with them for
an hour or so.  Jalana climbs onto Ariana's lap, and says she's glad she
isn't them.  She asks if Ariana can make sure that she only has girls from
now on, since boys are so bad.  Ariana says that's something she has no
control over.  After the lecture, the boys come over and apologize for
what they did to Foster, then say what extra chores they'll be doing to
make up for it.  Spooky.  Ariana asks Riftvan what he told them.  Just
that he was disappointed in them.  He says that his focus has changed,
now.  He's training them to be Court nobles, not assassins.  Ah.  Morgan
even brings Jalana a flower as they are heading to lunch.  Jalana looks
worried, and asks Ariana to make sure nothing was done to it.  When she
learns it's fine, she's even more worried.

	Ariana sees Laughter in the dining hall, so she sits next to her
and fusses over Pax.  Laughter grumbles about Foster's nickname for the
baby.  Ariana doesn't think much of it, either.  Ariana's kids are being
very well behaved.  Laughter sees Riftvan and seethes for a moment. 
Ariana tells Laughter psychically that Riftvan's retired.  Laughter is
surprised, but still seething a bit.  Ariana asks why.  Laughter claims
it's nothing, but some of the reason slips through the contact.  Ariana
frowns, then glances from Riftvan to the kids.

	Iseult insists on trying to use a steak knife to eat, and stabs
Foster in the leg in the process.  Or rather, stabs Gordon.  *Clang* 
Laughter swaps kids with Foster, and helps Iseult use the steak knife
properly for a bit, then sends her over to see Felix.  She keeps calling
the potatoes on Felix's plate "spuds," and every time she does, Pax looks
around.  Laughter glares at Foster, who pretends innocence.

	Usires sits next to Jaquee, who's in a foul mood.  Usires feels
something by his feet, and looks down to see Ruepert.  Usires tells Jaquee
who everyone is.  Jaquee bitches about being left with one person after
another who doesn't want her.

	Dessert is served, and Iseult wants all of it.  When she doesn't
get it, she begins to throw a fit, so Laughter has to rescue Felix from
her and distract her with a cookie.  Driscoll enters the dining hall,
takes Pax from Foster, and whispers to him that his name is not Spud. 
Many speculative glances are exchanged among those present at lunch when
they see Driscoll with Pax.  Laughter figures Pax will be Mandor's
favorite grandson.  Ariana's not sure that's a good thing.  Riftvan
comments that he won't lack for tutors, causing Laughter to clear her
throat, and Ariana to frown.  Riftvan drums his fingers and looks
contemplative.  Laughter likes this not at all.

	Usires comes over and tells Ariana that he's ready to go look for
Miranda.  Ariana, Laughter and Usires go to one of the sitting rooms to
discuss this.  Ruepert follows them, and chastises Usires for leaving
Jaquee alone.  Laughter picks him up by the ears, causing him to kick and
claw.  Ariana takes him away from her and puts him down.  He and Laughter
squabble, and he pisses on her boot.  She wipes it off in his fur.  Ariana
suggests that Ruepert back off, given his predilection for injury.  Yeah,
but he gets better.  In that case, Laughter can have at him.  Ruepert
moves away from her.  Ariana tells him that they'll be done momentarily. 
He leaves to tell Jaquee that Usires will be back soon.  Ariana tells
Laughter and Usires what she observed with her talking bones spell, and
suggests that they postpone going after Miranda until Riftvan is able to
check out the Shadow.

	Pax finds Ruepert under the table, much to the rabbit's dismay,
and begins playing with him in the manner that small children do.  Ouch! 
Ruepert protests.  Loudly.  Felix sends Haris to get Pax.  Ariana,
Laughter and Usires return, having heard the commotion.  Ariana talks to
Jaquee, who explains that Bart brought her to Amber, and she's getting
passed from person to person.  Ariana suggests that she have Meander send
her back.  No, Bart said that great things may be afoot.  Ariana suggests
some things she can do in Amber, but Jaquee isn't interested in them. 
Finally, Ariana tells her that she can leave, do any of the things that
Ariana suggested, or pout.  Jaquee thinks Ariana is mocking her.  No, just
being blunt.  She tells Jaquee to do what makes her happy.  OK.  She hits
Felix on the head with her staff, and leaves.  Felix asks what he did. 
Ariana explains that apparently hitting him makes Jaquee feel better.

	Laughter brings her brood back to her quarters after lunch, then
Trumps Mandor and asks if he's busy.  Not at the moment.  She comes
through with Pax.  Mandor takes the baby from her.  Pax is fascinated by
him.  She tells him the baby's name.  He asks if Pax's shapeshifting has
manifested yet.  No, there's no Vetch in him, so she figures it'll take
longer.  He examines Pax, and says it will be soon.  When it manifests, it
will automatically help shield him from the effects of his albinism.  Pax
seems happy, otherwise.  She tells him of her other kids, including all of
Iseult's troubles.  Mandor comments that it's such a shame that Laughter
didn't grow up with Fiona.  Laughter figures Fiona feels the same.  Mandor
thinks being constantly challenged is a good thing, and offers to make a
lady out of Iseult.  Great, when can he watch her?  Getting a bit worn
out, is she?  Well, Iseult tends to require twice as much attention as the
other two.  Mandor thinks it's more than likely her age.  Laughter notices
that Mandor seems slightly more relaxed than usual, but doesn't ask why. 
As they talk, Mandor uses the Logrus to snatch Pax away from getting into
things, which delights Pax to no end.  Laughter chats with Mandor until
Pax falls asleep.  Mandor tells her he can watch Iseult tomorrow, and that
she is welcome in Middlecourt.  He's trying for a different environment
than in the Courts.

	Ariana drops by Laughter's quarters, but Foster says Laughter's
gone to see Mandor.  Ariana asks him tell Laughter that she's looking for
her when she gets back.  Sure, anything else he can do for her?  Stop
calling Pax "Spud."  He complains that he's being hit on all sides. 
Ariana suggests that maybe he should listen, then.  She knows it's cute
now, but it won't be when Pax learns what it means.  OK, Mom.  Ariana
returns to her kids, who are still disturbingly well behaved.  Felix
thinks they're planning something.

	Felix looks in on Bridget, who's just put Brendan down for his
nap.  She asks if she can set up shop in the castle.  She's good at making
lacy, doily things.  Felix isn't sure about the castle, but maybe
something at the market.  She doesn't mention Shard, so Felix figures he
hasn't talked to her yet.

	Felix finds Gerard and asks if he knows the story behind Caine's
ships.  Gerard doesn't know, but he's going down to the harbor to get the
full story.  Felix goes with him.  Caine is in fine form, all full of
himself.  Where did he get the ships?  In Shadow.  Well, duh!  Caine cuffs
Felix for being disrespectful.  Felix tells Caine about Eric's son, and
how he met him in Middlecourt.  Felix doesn't like the place.  When is
Caine going to send the ships out again?  He's going to wait for Shadow to
calm down before doing that.  Felix is glad he's OK.  Caine says Felix has
fared better than his son, and tells of the attack on Usires.  Caine plans
to go drinking in the evening, and Felix is welcome to come along.  Maybe
he'll even bring his daughter, and see how she is at table dancing.  Er... 
Caine implies that Felix is afraid of Jaquee.  Felix tells Caine about the
spell Hickory cast on him while he was in Discworld, and how it caused him
to be attracted to Jaquee, much to her annoyance.  Caine decides that
Jaquee is definitely coming, and suggests that Felix wear a cup.  Then he
leaves, saying he's got things to do.

	Usires interrogates the prisoner, whose name is Maxim, and
initially gets nowhere.  Maxim keeps making up different stories.  Usires
notices that looking Maxim in the eyes lets him know when he's telling the
truth.  After being picked up by the leg and bounced on his head a few
times for lying, Maxim spills the beans.  One of the other two attackers
was his buddy, Rolly.  Rolly introduced Maxim to the third attacker, who
was the one who threw a knife at Usires and ran away.  This third man is
the one who hired them.  Maxim doesn't know his name, but Rolly might. 
Usires tries to get Maxim to describe where Rolly hangs out, but Maxim
doesn't really know a lot about the place.

	Felix looks over the fleet, and spends the afternoon in the city.

	Ariana drops in on Bridget to see how she's settling in.  She's
already made an amazing number of baby clothes.  They chat for a bit
before Ariana returns to her quarters.  Riftvan asks Ariana what Laughter
told her at lunch.  Nothing.  He knows something passed between them.  She
says she'll discuss it with him later.

	Laughter returns and tells Iseult that she's going to visit her
grandfather tomorrow.  Foster is concerned about this, especially when he
learns that Mandor is relaxed.  Foster figures he'll have to teach Iseult
not to call Pax "spud" before then, since Mandor probably won't see the
humor in it.  He isn't planning to tell Felix about their new relationship
with Driscoll, since he doesn't think Felix would understand.  Laughter
thinks Felix would adapt to it, since he's adapted to everything else
Foster has done.  True.  He was a sailor, after all.  And he wears a
skirt.  Laughter says she's going to catch up with Ariana, which reminds
Foster to tell her that Ariana stopped by earlier.

	Usires brainrapes Maxim, and gets an idea of where Rolly might be. 
This also leaves Maxim lobotomized, since Usires has never really
brainraped anyone before.  Oops.

	Laughter comes by Ariana's quarters so they can catch up on each
other's lives.  They decide to spar while doing so.  While they're walking
down to the practice room, Ariana asks why Laughter is mad at Riftvan. 
Laughter decides to start from the beginning, and explains that she,
Foster and Driscoll have decided to be a family together, including
sharing the same bed.  Ariana thinks a threesome is a great idea. 
Laughter isn't so sure.  It wasn't the choice she expected Foster to make. 
But before that, Foster and Driscoll settled things between them.  Oh? 
Laughter explains how Foster punished Driscoll, then adds that this is how
Foster was punished when he was learning to be an assassin.  Ariana isn't
pleased, and changes the subject back to the threesome.  Laughter admits
that it hasn't happened yet.  Ariana asks if she's ever been in a
threesome before.  Well, she's only slept with three men, total, so no. 
Ariana is surprised by this, but figures it would explain why Laughter
wouldn't test drive Foster, Driscoll and Shard before she picked Foster. 
Laughter frowns at Shard's name.  She's still not happy about the fact
that he slept with Beauty.  They begin sparring.  Both of them have
improved, but Ariana is still better than Laughter.  Ariana compliments
Laughter on her increased skill.  Laughter asks what was stolen the
previous night.  The Unicorn's eye.  Laughter isn't happy to hear this. 
She asks if Riftvan is a full Faerie when he's in that form.  Yes. 
Laughter would like to test a spell of hers on him, that summons and binds
a Faerie.  Ariana agrees to present the idea to him, and asks if Laughter
will teach the spell to her.  Sure.  Never know when you might need to
bind a Faerie, after all.  Ariana asks Laughter how her visit to Mandor
went.  Fine.  He seems more relaxed, now.  Laughter tells Ariana that
he'll be watching Iseult tomorrow.  Ariana figures Foster must be working
overtime to teach Iseult to call Pax by his proper name.

	Bart walks through the practice room looking rather worried, with
Ruepert biting his heels.  He asks if Ariana and Laughter have seen
Jaquee.  No, why?  She walked the Pattern and vanished.  Ariana asks if
Ruepert can use his magic to find Jaquee.  He uses it to attack Bart
instead.  This sets off all the magical alarms, and a strong wind begins
blowing through the room.  Bart shifts to his Chaos form, which looks like
a deranged rabbit, and begins trying to defend himself.  Ariana throws one
of her metal balls at Ruepert, but it bounces off a defensive ward.  Fiona
and Bleys appear.  Fiona looks worried and glances at Bleys, then they
link hands and begin casting.  Unfortunately, Disc magic is stronger than
Pattern magic.  Doh!  Ariana asks if anyone has a Trump of Meander. 
Laughter does.  Ariana asks her to Trump him and brings him through. 
Laughter does this thing, catches Abel, and points him at the fray. 
Meander begins casting a counter-spell, causing another set of winds to
spring up.  A tornado begins forming, as the opposing winds interact. 
Ariana notices that Meander is trying to open a gate beneath Ruepert.  She
casts a spell to block the magical energy and winds from hitting her and
Laughter.  Meander's gate finally opens, and Ruepert disappears, along
with the winds.  Ariana asks Fiona if she has a Trump of Jaquee.  She's
sure that one can be found.  Ariana and Laughter decide that this is now
Fiona's problem, and get out of there.

	Usires is Trumped by Caine, who wants to know where Jaquee is. 
She didn't want to come with him.  He's looking for her, though.  Caine
tells him to look faster.  Usires heads down to the practice room, running
into Ariana and Laughter as they are leaving.  That bad, eh?  Ariana
explains what happened.  Usires reaches for his Trump deck, but it's gone. 
Laughter loans him her Trump of Caine, but it doesn't animate.  He returns
the card, and they all continue on their original paths.

	Fiona Trumps Jaquee, who's in Capillaria.  She wants to leave. 
Now.  They want her to eat that...thing.  Fiona pulls her through, then
transports with her to Rebma, so she can breathe.  The Capillarians gave
her gills, you see.  Apparently, she asked the Pattern to take her to a
place where there are no men.  Never ask the Pattern something that open-
ended.

	Usires arrives in time to see Fiona pull Jaquee through, and then
both of them vanish, so he figures that problem is being dealt with.  He
goes back to Maxim's cell, but his Trumps aren't there.  He goes down to
the docks to pound out his frustrations on ships.

	Ariana and Laughter return to Ariana's quarters.  Ariana combs her
hair out and rebraids it.  Riftvan observes their disheveled state, and
asks what happened.  Ariana explains.  Riftvan says this is why the Disc
should have been left alone.  Ariana mentions that Laughter had something
to ask him.  Laughter tells him of her spell.  And what does this have to
do with him?  Well, he has a Faerie form.  Laughter promises not to use it
on him again, unless his wife asks her to.  She's going to teach it to
Ariana, anyway.  Riftvan warns that any Faerie she uses it on will likely
be pissed, and asks what he gets out of it.  Um, entertainment?  He points
out that he's just seen his wife for the first time in years, and he'd
like to spend some time with her.  Ariana looks surprised, and asks how
long he's been gone.  He'll tell her as soon as she tells him what she and
Laughter were discussing at lunch.  She'll get to that later.  Laughter
continues trying to convince Riftvan to help her, and mostly succeeds in
amusing him.  Her reactions to him do give him some idea as to the nature
of what she was discussing with Ariana, especially when she bristles at
one point when he touches her.  She asks him to at least think about her
request.  Riftvan points out that if she's made a mistake with the spell,
she could kill him.  Laughter leaves.

	Riftvan asks Ariana what's bothering her.  She looks
uncomfortable, prompting him to observe that this ought to be good.  What
did he do?  It's more like something he did.  How long ago?  Hard to say. 
She asks how long was he gone.  Two years.  She looks shocked.  And Zane
kept him busy all that time?  Zane was trying to make up his mind about
Riftvan.  And her people?  When he came back to the Ways, the entire staff
had been changed, and some of his more extraneous relatives had taken up
residence.  She thanks him for finding Mirelle.  He asks again what's
troubling her.  He raised Foster after he was eight, right?  Yes.  And he
oversaw his training?  Yes.  Was he the only one who trained Foster?  No,
but he did 80% of it.  And when Foster did something wrong?  Ah.  Riftvan
figures that Foster's been talking to Laughter, and Laughter talked to
Ariana.  Yes.  Riftvan explains that that's the way you train assassins. 
Not that Foster turned out to be much of an assassin, anyway.  He was too
kind-hearted.  Ariana figures he should have expected this from Tamaryn's
son, and thinks it was a good thing.  He was going to train their kids to
be assassins, wasn't he?  He changed his mind.  Did he ever do this to any
of his children?  No.  He asks if she's mad at him.  She thinks it's
unfair to be mad at him for something he did and now...regrets?  He admits
that he does regret it, and asks if she wants him to sleep on the coach. 
No.  Well, he wasn't sure how angry she was.  She repeats that she's not
angry.  She thinks his whole house is disgusting, though, and figures that
it's probably best that she didn't know what he'd been like when she first
met him, or she never would have married him.  Well, if she hadn't loved
him, he never would have changed.  Kind of a catch-22.  Now she
understands why he never really wanted the job.  She says she never had
any trouble understanding that, she just never understood why he accepted
the position.  Well, he thought he could change things, and then Loryn
died, and he just didn't care anymore.

	Riftvan asks how the information about Foster's training came out. 
Ariana explains the whole Foster/Driscoll/Laughter situation, including
how Laughter's memory was affected by the huge Faerie glamour that she
contained.  In that case, Riftvan really doesn't want to be the one
Laughter tests her spell on, since she's probably out for revenge.  Ariana
assures him that Drumm seems to have squared things with her, and asks if
he's ever heard of Drumm.  He's a high wizard, but a bit of a rogue.  He
tends to do things without thinking them completely through.  Laughter's
lucky there was anything left of her mind, if he cast the glamour.  How is
he related to Auberon?  A nephew of some sort.  Ariana figures Drumm
probably shouldn't be the one she asks to retrieve the memories of her
past life, in that case.  Well, he's good, but the results are
unpredictable.  So, if Laughter doesn't want revenge, why the spell? 
Ariana thinks she wants to investigate the stolen eye.  Riftvan still
doesn't like the idea.  She reminds him that he owes Laughter most of two
weeks of service.  He was hoping she'd forgotten about that.  Ariana
doesn't think she has.  Did she say she was going to use that to force him
to help her?  No.  Riftvan will take his chances, then.  He notes that
she's changing the subject, and asks again if she's mad at him.  She
insists, once again, that she's not.  She just needs some time to get used
to what she's learned.

	Laughter returns to her quarters to find Felix there.  He takes
Foster, Laughter, and their brood down to the dock and presents his
completed wedding gift to them.  They discuss names for the boat.  Many
bad puns are made.  Laughter eventually suggests Lady of the Lake.

	Ariana asks Riftvan if she should be able to do the shapeshifting
that she does with her healing.  Not unless one of her parents was a
shapeshifter, or she's a revert.  Of course, she did learn shapeshifting
backwards from the usual method.  Most people learn to shapeshift
themselves before others.  She says she'd like to look into who her father
was.  He figures they can do so when she's no longer pregnant.  She
doesn't want to wait that long.  He points out that Shadow is not as
friendly as it was, although the Shadows affected by Pattern or Logrus are
more stable.  This would include Shadows where Amberites or Chaosites have
spent a lot of time.  Ariana observes that in that case, Shadow Earth
should be stable, since so many Amberites have been there.  Riftvan
concedes her point, and says they'll go as soon as her current mood
changes, and she's no longer upset.  She asks if Mirelle is still
considered married to Fenar in Chaos.  No, Zane gave the Heads the option
of having the marriages annulled, or being exiled from Chaos.  And what
did Riftvan do?  Well, they weren't married in Chaos, so Zane couldn't
annul the marriage.  This bothered him greatly.  He's rather unstable, and
Riftvan doesn't think he'll be on the throne for long.  Ariana tells him
that Usires is ready to look for Miranda.  He thinks Usires can wait. 
Ariana doesn't like the idea of leaving Miranda in that Shadow, since
she's likely been stuck there for two years already, if it's going at the
same speed as Chaos.  He agrees to check out the Shadow, since it means so
much to her.  He kisses her hand and leaves.

	Foster wants Laughter to Trump Ariana, to get the bottle of
champagne.  Laughter is afraid that she's sleeping with Riftvan, since
she's usually doing so when Laughter Trumps her.  Foster quickly
volunteers to be the one that Trump her.  He looks disappointed when she
answers, and Ariana is able to pick up why.  He tells her what they want. 
She comes through and tells Laughter what he was thinking, then conjures
the champagne.  The boat is christened, then Gerard and Felix lift it and
drop it in the water, which is pretty impressive, since it's not a light
boat.  Ariana applauds.  Foster tells Felix that this is where he takes
his shirt off, right?  Felix glares and picks him up.  Ariana asks if
Felix still has the nipple rings he had as Jesus, causing Felix to throw
Foster at her.  She dodges, and Foster lands in the water.  Ariana teases
Felix on his manners, attacking a pregnant woman and all.  Felix says he
forgot she was pregnant.  Everyone laughs at this, since it's pretty darn
obvious.  Foster jumps up from underneath the dock and rams the plank
Felix is on, knocking him into the water.  Then Foster climbs out and
takes his shirt off to dry it, getting admiring looks from the women.

	Felix Trumps to Amber and turns on his pin, wanting everyone to
worry about him.  When he doesn't appear to surface, Foster dives back in
to search for him, but can't find a body.  Laughter Trumps Felix, and
can't get through.  Ariana suggests using her talking bones spell to reach
him.  Laughter does this thing and finds Felix in Amber.  He towels off
and Trumps Gerard to come back to the others, commenting on Foster's
shirtless state when he arrives.  Gerard seems amused by all of this, so
Felix mock confronts him on it and tries to push him into the water.  Fat
chance of that happening.  Ariana and Foster figure Felix will wind up in
the water in about five seconds.  Gerard tosses Felix almost all the way
to the other side of the docks.  Wow.  Felix swims back to join them.

	Laughter decides she's had enough of this game, and checks out the
inside of the new boat.  Usires, attracted by all the noise on the dock,
does so as well.  Foster boards and tries to tackle Laughter, but she
ducks.  Usires decides to make himself scarce.  Ariana says Laughter and
Foster should take the boat out for a sail.  She and Felix will watch the
children, honest.  Laughter objects, but Foster distracts her.  Ariana and
Felix cast them off.  Pax is upset that his parents are leaving, so Felix
Trumps Driscoll and brings him through to take Pax.  The kids are brought
up to Ariana's quarters, where they spend the afternoon playing with
Ariana's kids, Vivienne, Darby and Bart.  Ten kids under the age of six,
and only five adults, means the adults have a busy afternoon.

	Laughter insists on returning by dinner, to relieve the
baby-sitters of her kids.  She finds them all in the dining hall,
apparently none the worse for wear.  Eric and Ronan are missing from
dinner, as is Kimdyl.  Nicholas is there, but quiet.  Beauty looks
worried.  Dinner passes uneventfully.

	Ariana drops by Shard's quarters, and tells him that she's told
Riftvan about their encounter.  While Riftvan wasn't happy about it, she's
convinced him not to come after Shard.  Shard says he already knows.
Apparently it's easy for Ariana's thoughts to trickle through when he's
sleeping, and he dreamed about it.  Ariana apologizes for that, but Shard
doesn't seem to mind.  They're the only dreams he's had, since he became a
vampire.  Ariana asks if he's spoken to Bridget.  Not yet.  He's still
trying to figure out the best way to approach it.  Ideally, he'd like to
make her think he's not a vampire, but he feels the need to be very
careful with her.  He senses something strange about her, you see.  Ariana
asks him to show her, and he does.  Ariana is overwhelmed by all of the
information, since vampires see far more of the visual spectrum than
humans, plus have very acute senses of smell and hearing, but she manages
to pick up that Bridget does seem different to Shard.  After she recovers
from the information overload, Ariana tells Shard that she thinks Bridget
is an Amberite.  Given how easily she was able to tell that Eric was
Ronan's father, the difficulty she had in determining Brendan's father can
only be explained if his mother is also an Amberite.  Shard thinks this
could explain why Bridget seems different to him, since he's never seen an
adult Amberite who hasn't walked the Pattern.  Ariana thinks Bridget is
from Foster's generation or lower.  She's uneasy about the fact that
Bridget's Shadow was obviously tinkered with.  Shard agrees that it smacks
of forethought on somebody's part.  It's possible that Bridget may be a
spy for someone.  Ariana thinks they should tell Nicholas and Eric about
this.  Shard wants to come with her when she does so, so he can formally
acknowledge Brendan as his son.  Ariana says she'll try to set up the
meeting as early in the morning as possible.

	Laughter talks with Beauty after dinner.  Beauty is worried about
Nicholas.  He's always been driven, but now he's driven tenfold.  He's
been spending all his days in Rebma, talking to Moire.  He's worried about
his ability to handle the kingdom.  Laughter needs to tell him Ahab's last
words, so she sets up an appointment in the morning, leaving her Trump so
she can be contacted.  Beauty's feeling nauseous, so she calls Driscoll
over to give her some Alka-Seltzer, then leaves.  Driscoll observes that
Laughter and Foster christened the boat.  Um, yep.  They bring the kids
upstairs and put them to bed.  Laughter sits down at her desk and begins
to go over her troop reports.  Driscoll takes them away, while Foster
tosses her over his shoulder and heads into the bedroom.  Driscoll
follows.  They're all too tired to do anything other than sleep, though. 
Clytemnestra apparently slashed Driscoll when she learned the new state of
affairs between him and Laughter.  There's nothing like the wrath of a
dragon scorned.

	Ariana puts the kids to bed, then talks with Mirelle.  She points
out that since Mirelle was briefly married, there's a chance that she
might be pregnant.  Mirelle doesn't like this idea at all, insisting that
she's not good with children.  Ariana says Mirelle does a good job with
her children.  Mirelle thinks that's because they're not her own children. 
Ariana doesn't think she'll treat her own children worse than her
grandchildren.  Mirelle is afraid she'll forget the child, or abandon it. 
Ariana tries to convince her that this won't happen, because she's happy
now, and she only tends to lose her memory when she's upset.  Nope, she
can't be pregnant.  She's not married.  Ariana points out that she was,
and adds that she would like a sibling.  Nope, she just isn't pregnant,
and that's that.  She goes to bed.  Ariana does likewise.

	Riftvan returns shortly after Ariana falls asleep, waking her as
he slides into bed.  She kisses him and asks how it went.  He found no
sign of Miranda ever having been in the Shadow.  Dara and the Trump artist
are the only ones who came and went.  Dara did enter the Shadow through a
Trump gate at one point, so it seems likely that she was the one Ariana
saw leaving Miranda's shop.  Which means she must have substituted herself
for Miranda before then.  Ariana figures it must have happened in the back
room, which means she'll have to get into Miranda's workshop.  Riftvan
doesn't think that will be a problem for a Duchess of Amber.  But that's a
problem for tomorrow.  Ariana thanks him for checking into it, since it
was better than them all going to the Shadow and then finding that Miranda
was never there.  That's why he went.  Besides, they couldn't have gotten
past the Logrus barrier.  What barrier?  He explains about the barrier at
Ygg, and how only someone with Logrus can go through it..  She doesn't
understand how the barrier can stretch across all of Shadow, when Shadow
is infinite.  Well, the Serpent had both eyes at the time.  Could both
eyes be used to undo it?  If one knows how to use them, but no one really
knows how to use the Serpent's second eye.  How did Ahab's posse get past
the barrier to rescue Flora?  Mandor.  Riftvan seems amazed that she
didn't know about it.  Ariana observes that she's been pretty much left
out of the loop, lately.

	Caine rounds up Jaquee and Florian to join the drinking party.  By
the time they, Usires and Felix have gotten to the bar, Jaquee is
clutching Ruepert tightly to her, causing him to complain that he can't
breathe.  She won't drink the beer, but Ruepert is more than happy to.
Caine senses the general mood and downs two beers quickly.  Felix stops
feeling nervous after he drinks a bit.  Jaquee remains tense the entire
night.

	Ariana asks Riftvan whether he was still training Foster when he
was following her in Shadow.  No, he had finished Foster's training by
that point.  And who trained Riftvan?  His father.  Ariana says she
understands why Tamaryn didn't like the man.  She suddenly remembers the
letter Ahab left for Riftvan and fetches it for him.  Riftvan is rather
surprised that Ahab would leave a message for him, of all people.  As
Ariana hands him the letter, she feels the baby moving around again.  She
mentions this to Riftvan, and he puts his hand on her abdomen so he can
feel it too.  They spend some time discussing the baby.  Riftvan thinks
she will be small, since she feels like Ariana, and Ariana is tiny.
Ariana mentions that Jalana wants to be there for the birth.  Riftvan
doesn't think that will be a problem, since the birth should be simple.
Ariana finally asks if he's going to read Ahab's letter.  He does, smiles,
and hands it to her.  Ariana reads it, and finds that it basically
consists of Ahab trying to guilt Riftvan into not working for Zane any
longer.  Reading the letter makes her sad, since it reminds her of Ahab.
Riftvan says he's sorry that she misses Ahab.  If he were in her place,
he'd be angry with Ahab.  Ariana admits that she is, sometimes.  Riftvan
doesn't think this is a good time for him to tell her what he thinks of
Ahab.  Maybe when her hurt has healed more.  Ariana isn't sure that will
ever happen.  Riftvan assures her that it will and holds her until she
falls asleep again.


Quotables:

"I'm just apparently too stupid to live." -- Mer to the group at large

"I gave up on genocide...when I realized the Faeries were more powerful
than me." -- Laughter to GM

"Pax is certainly a drooly little child." -- Felix to Foster

"Wait, *Usires* is going to be Jaquee's guide to Amber?" -- Kris to the
group at large

"You're going to handle that whole puberty thing, right?" -- Foster
"No, actually I was thinking of letting (Iseult) muddle through it on her
own." -- Laughter

"You're talking to the wrong person about lacy, doily things." -- Felix to
Bridget

"It's a pretty piss-poor torture session when the prisoner gets M&M's for
every right answer." -- Sean
"It would work on Laughter." --Mer
"It would work on Laughter?" -- Sean
"But cookies would work better." -- Mer

"You'd expect a little more open-mindedness from a man who wears a skirt."
-- Laughter to Foster, referring to Felix

"Foster raped Driscoll?" -- Ariana
"Sort of, except Driscoll was willing." -- Laughter

"Can we get back to the discussion where Vetch fucked his grandson?" --
Liam to GM