Chapter Sixty-seven: "Being dead would be more than just a serious problem."

	Alex finishes up his business in Chaos, gates to Amber, and asks
where the King is.  He's sleeping, it being the middle of the night, so
Alex decides to do the same.

	Bart enters the infirmary and corners Laughter.  She listens to
his spiel about why she shouldn't kill him, and agrees to hold off, for
now.  Foster pretends to be asleep during this, and "wakes up" once Bart
is gone.  He seems to be adopting Ahab's philosophy about pain, which is
to say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  Laughter is hungry
and sends a page for some food.  Chocolate cake will do, or lamb chops,
whichever is available.  Ahab rolls his eyes at this stomach churning
combination.  Laughter offers that she's pregnant, as if that makes it any
less disgusting.  The page returns with both items, but Laughter decides
she only wants the cake.  She offers the lamb chops to Foster and Ahab,
neither of whom are the slightest bit interested.  She leaves the food
sitting out, pulls up another cot, and goes to sleep next to Foster.

	Bart stays up all night hanging spells, despite the fact that he
hasn't slept for two nights.  At dawn, his body reminds him that this is a
bad thing to do, and he goes to sleep.

	Laughter wakes up at dawn and, wanting breakfast, looks for the
lamb chops, but they're gone.  This annoys her, so she casts her talking
bones to find out who took them.  The culprit turns out to be one of the
pages, who foolishly decided that he didn't want them to rot.  The
clattering of Laughter's bones wakes Ahab up, who checks and finds that
Kimdyl still hasn't moved.  Laughter realizes that she's feeling queasy,
so she opts to skip breakfast in favor of going to the sparring room and
skewering a few dummies.  Sequence is all for this.  Unfortunately,
sparring only makes her feel worse, so she decides maybe she should stop. 
A really odd conversation ensues, in which Laughter promises that Sequence
can cut the baby's umbilical cord when it's born, a task that the sword is
looking forward to, once she assures it that there will be blood involved. 
They also touch on Ahab's intelligence, and nausea in general.  Laughter
goes up to the battlements for air, which doesn't help.  Sequence tries
scraping the anvil bits that are still stuck to it off on the battlements,
but scrapes pieces of the battlements off instead.

	Felix, Alex and Usires all wake up and head down to breakfast. 
Everyone is surprised to find Llewella there.  Everyone except for Bart,
who sleeps through his appointment with Mom.  Vivienne bounds over to
Felix and gives him a big hug.

	Usires decides to do some experiments with his ax's ability to
mold Shadow, but finds that he can't really do much with it in Amber, for
some strange reason.

	Laughter returns to the infirmary, where the sight of Foster's
breakfast makes her sicker than she already was.  She returns to the
battlements, sits down, and puts her head between her knees.  Shard,
master of observation, approaches and asks if she's all right.  She
explains that it's morning sickness, and he offers his congratulations. 
She asks him to retrieve Beauty for her.  She's either in Foil with Caitt,
or with Ariana, Laughter can't remember which.  Shard chuckles and uses
the Trump of Foil that she hands him.

	Ariana sleeps until noon, and awakens to quiet children again. 
She comments that she must be dreaming and asks if they've had lunch. 
They've been waiting for her, and Riftvan proceeds to make something.  She
doesn't feel sick at all.  Yet.

	Kimdyl is still curled up in the fetal position by noon, so Ahab
decides he should probably find Nicholas and let him know what's happened. 
The boy is actually studying, prompting Ahab to wonder where his real
child is.  He breaks the news about Kimdyl to Nicholas, who has no real
reaction, other than to wonder if she is getting better.  He decides that
seeing her is preferable to studying math, so Ahab brings him to the
infirmary.  He notes that the fetal position can't be that comfortable,
but other than that, says nothing.

	Lyss contacts Ahab and asks when the shard posse will be heading
out again.  Time is of the essence, you see.  Ahab suggests she find
someone else to lead it this time.  Maybe Ariana, although she's been
rather domestic lately, or Driscoll, if he's recovered from his ordeal. 
Lyss says she'll begin looking for the next shard while he's finding a
replacement.

	Ariana goes up to the infirmary to check on the injured.  Felix
brings Vivienne up there as well.  She hides behind Felix when she sees
Nicholas.  Felix shoots a look at Ahab that asks what that was all about. 
Ahab shrugs.  Vivienne runs over to Foster and starts banging spoons on
his artificial legs.  Ariana psychically checks on Kimdyl, who seems to be
withdrawing.  She has Ahab contact Kimdyl psychically, but Kimdyl retreats
even further.

	Ariana goes up to the battlements, but can't find Clytemnestra. 
She can't reach Driscoll via Trump, either.  She does find Laughter, who's
still sitting there looking miserable, and brings her back to the
infirmary for something to settle her stomach.  It helps take the edge off
of things, but Laughter's still not happy.  She wants her mother.  Ariana
suggests she Trump one of them.  She does, but Fiona isn't much help. 
Laughter asks if Felix's mother would have any suggestions.  She might,
except she hasn't been told about Laughter's pregnancy yet.  Oh well.  For
some reason, Caitt is not consulted.  Foster figures he's ready to leave
the infirmary and goes back to his room, accompanied by Vivienne.

	Bart is Trumped at about two in the afternoon by Llewella, who
points out that they were supposed to meet at breakfast.  He is summoned
to her room.  He gets dressed, hurries over, and kisses her butt big time
for standing her up.  Then he breaks the news about his curse, in his
usual bumbling sort of way.  Llewella is quite startled by his
demonstration.  He changes back and explains how it happened.  When she
learns that Ahab touched the Jewel shard while he was a woman, she figures
she won't need to punish Ahab after all.  Bart explains that it all has to
do with Sequence (maybe now he'll learn not to meddle with other people's
things).  Llewella learns who taught Bart how to change his form back, and
figures Florian of Helgram was an adequate teacher.  She also tells him
that the Pattern will be fixed by his wedding, so he can't use his curse
to get out of it.  However, she suggests that he not visit Rebma until
he's better, for his fiancee's reputation.  Bart is unsuccessful in his
attempts to get her to call off the engagement.

	Alex enters the infirmary and talks to Lyss, who tries to recruit
him for transport duty in the shard posse, seeing as he's the only Logrus
user around (except for Riftvan, and no one wants to ask him).  He tells
her to let him know when she's found it, and spends some time hanging
spells.

	Usires attempts to meditate on Ironclaw, but still fears him. 
Smart Viking.

	Laughter asks Felix who Foster's mother is, and learns the whole
story about Murine.  Felix asks why Mandor won't let her marry into Vetch. 
She claims that Mandor doesn't like Riftvan, an excuse that Felix has no
trouble believing.  He suggests that if she marries someone else, and then
kills him, the children won't be from House Vetch, although how this keeps
her from becoming part of House Vetch when she marries Foster is unclear. 
Handfasting is brought up as a more reasonable alternative.

	Ariana digs out some books on psychology, and her book of baby
names.  Riftvan quickly leaves.  Laughter Trumps Ariana and asks if
handfasting counts as marriage in Chaos.  Ariana isn't sure, but offers to
check with Riftvan.  She asks if Laughter's having second thoughts. 
Maybe.  So why does she want to marry Foster?  She figures that she loves
him.  Such a hearty endorsement.

	Laughter and Felix go to Foster's quarters, where Felix relieves
him of Vivienne.  Laughter tells Foster that she and Felix think it's time
to break the news to Gerard and Isabeux.  Foster is not real thrilled,
especially when she tells him that he gets to do this alone.  This
afternoon would be good.  She also tells him of Felix's suggestion re: 
marrying some poor sap and then killing him.  Foster is astonished that
Felix suggested this.  Laughter wants to write a will.  Just in case
something happens to her.  Foster quickly leaves to face his doom.

	Laughter Trumps to Foil, where she finds Beauty chattering away at
Shard in the garden.  She tells Beauty that she's going to Chaos, which
has Shard rather concerned.  He doesn't think that's such a good idea,
given that there's a war going on there.  He and Beauty follow Laughter
into her study.  She Trumps Mandor anyway and brings him through to Foil. 
Shard is quite surprised to hear her address Mandor as father, and looks
for a graceful way to leave, but none presents itself.  Laughter is
unsuccessful at getting Mandor to promise not to be angry, so in the end
she just blurts out the news about her pregnancy.  Mandor's eyes get a
little redder.  He'd like to marry her immediately to someone safe, who
would claim responsibility, but she doesn't fall under his laws, so he
can't do that.  He doesn't think that any of his other requests would
please her either, not that she'd follow them.  Illegitimate or not, she's
still the child of the future King.  She doesn't see why that creates a
problem with having a child by a Vetch.  Mandor says that house is beneath
her, and refuses to give her permission to marry Foster.  She tells him
that she won't marry Foster without his blessing, which surprises him. 
Then she foolishly asks who would be appropriate for her to marry.  Mandor
thinks Driscoll would be a fine choice.  She disagrees, but Mandor seems
to be growing attached to the idea.  Laughter doesn't see why it's OK for
him to marry Heather, but she can't marry Foster.  He asks Shard and
Beauty to leave, and then explains that House Vetch is at his beck and
call.  He could not send the husband of his daughter into certain death,
and he might need that flexibility.  The life expectancy of a Vetch is not
long, so it would only bring her pain.  Laughter points out that it
doesn't matter if she marries Foster or not, she still loves him and would
be upset if he died.  Mandor points out that Foster could always be
excommunicated from his house, or Felix could marry Murine.  Laughter
doesn't think that's likely.  Mandor tries to persuade her to visit Chaos,
to get to know that side of her heritage.  More painful dialogue ensues. 
Mandor asks that she not cut him off from his grandchild.  Nothing
personal against Foster, it's just his lot in life.  He Trumps away, and
Laughter hugs Beauty for a long time.

	Felix plays with Vivienne for a while, and listens for crashing
noises from his parents' quarters, but there are none.  Vivienne plays
war, which involves smashing all of her male dolls and pretending that
they're Nicholas.  Felix finds this disturbing.

	Nicholas asks Ahab if he can leave the infirmary after a while,
since he's through here, and Ahab will call him when Kimdyl wakes up. 
After Nicholas leaves, Ahab contacts Kimdyl mentally again, but she still
retreats.  He thinks she's in a large state of denial.  He tells her that
he loves her, and he'll be there when she's ready to come out.  She seems
to appreciate that, and he breaks the contact.  Lyss tells him that she's
found the next shard, but Driscoll seems to be gone.  Ahab Trumps Random
and tells him to find someone else to lead the posse.

	Laughter Trumps back to Amber and fills Felix in.  Shard leaves,
while Beauty and Vivienne play in a corner.  Laughter tells Felix that
Vetch is a servant house to the King, so that if Mandor orders Vetch to
give his life, he must.

	Ahab stops by to see Vivienne, and asks why she's so afraid of
Nicholas.  She denies that she fears him.  He asks why she doesn't like
him, then.  She says he's bad.  Ahab asks how.  Vivienne points out that,
as Nicholas' father, Ahab ought to know more about him.  She adds that
he's dark, and he thinks that way too.  He puts the others up to the bad
things they do.  And he looks wrong.  She can't explain it better than
that.  Beauty seems to share the same opinion, although she's reluctant to
voice it.  Ahab asks for examples.  Beauty mentions Nicholas' fascination
with her, and suggests that someone give him some lessons in etiquette and
manners.

	Ariana researches Mirelle's condition for a while, and finds that
there's no real cure for it.  She starts to feel nauseous, and goes to the
infirmary to get some of the stuff she gave to Laughter.  While she's
there, she notices that Kimdyl is missing, Trumps Ahab, and informs him of
this.  Then she goes up to the battlements for some fresh air. 
Clytemnestra and Driscoll are just returning.  In a near repeat of Shard's
earlier conversation with Laughter, Driscoll notes that she doesn't look
well, and Ariana explains that it's morning sickness.  Driscoll does not
offer congratulations.  Clytemnestra tells her that she should lay eggs
instead, a suggestion that Ariana finds less than helpful.  She asks if
Driscoll has seen Battlestar, who was left behind in Lazarus.  Driscoll
figures that any creature of Julian's will find its way back to Amber
without difficulty.  Ariana notices a hole in Clytemnestra's wing, and
figures Driscoll tried to see his daughter.  She offers to heal the wound. 
Clytemnestra wonders if she has the strength, but tells her to go ahead. 
Ariana is successful, but collapses at the end, and Driscoll has to catch
her.  He figures she's done enough for one day and starts to help her back
to her quarters.  After a short distance, she has to stop and rest on the
stairs, so he conjures some water for her and they discuss his daughter. 
Apparently her presence is helping the humans quite a bit.  They both
agree that he'd have a better time talking to her if he could get her out
of Lazarus, and Ariana offers to help him when she's feeling a little
better.  He asks if she knows where Laughter is.  Ariana figures she's in
the castle, and gives him her Trump.  He picks her up and carries her the
rest of the way to her quarters.  She has him put her down at the door and
walks in on her own, making it as far as one of the chairs.  Jalana asks
if she's all right, and the boys look like this could be great opportunity
for mischief.  Ariana threatens to send them to bed early if they
misbehave, which dashes their hopes.  Jalana still looks worried, so
Ariana lifts her onto her lap, and the two of them proceed to take a nap.

	Bart talks with Martin and tries to figure out what happened to
his body.  Martin has absolutely no clue, but he's beginning to see the
hazards of putting sockets in your head.  Bart spends most of the
conversation picking on Martin and pointing out his limitations, enjoying
being on the other side of the fence, for once.  Martin yanks the rug out
from under him in retaliation, causing Bart to blow a Xeno spell to avoid
hitting the floor.  He tells Martin that he'll find the body and sets off.

	Laughter and Beauty go back to their quarters.  Beauty wants
Laughter to arrange a marriage for her to Shard.  Laughter says she'll
look into it, but it would be a while, since Beauty's far too young to be
married.  She also wants to leave the crown to Beauty, but Beauty's not
sure that this is such a good idea.  She doesn't think she'll be any good
at it.  Laughter disagrees.  Beauty asks that Laughter not marry her to
Nicholas, since he's been telling her that she will be his.  Laughter
insists that he's mistaken.  They decide to have dinner sent up, in case
Laughter's not feeling up to eating, and discuss possible names for the
baby.  Beauty is delighted that she gets to help in the selection.

	Felix finds Foster in Gerard's quarters.  Foster gives Felix a
"help" look.  Felix asks if things are going well.  Gerard figures he's
made himself clear, and Foster looks at his knees.  Gerard says that
Isabeux knows, but he sent her out of the room when they got to the
delicate part.  He tells Foster that he can go.  Once he does, Gerard
begins to laugh.  Apparently he explained that Laughter is a good girl,
and made sure that Foster was going to do the right thing by her.  Felix
mentions that there are complications.  Gerard thinks they found a way
around that, since they figure that Foster's recent accident will make it
easier for him to leave House Vetch.  Usually, leaving comes with a
certain punishment, but Foster's injuries have probably met the
requirement.  Plus, Gerard will put a good word in for Foster with Lord
Vetch.  And he's sure that Vetch will listen.  Felix is upset that Foster
told Gerard more about the situation than he told Felix.  Gerard claims he
scared it out of Foster, and is rather proud that he only lost his temper
once.  He figures that once Foster no longer has ties to Chaos, he may
relax a bit.  He also suggests that Felix tell his mother how pretty she
looks when he next sees her, since she's not happy about being a
great-grandmother.  Felix brings up Vivienne's problem with Nicholas, and
mentions her behavior with her dolls, but Gerard doesn't think there's a
problem.  Right.

	Ahab Trumps Kimdyl, but she's not answering.  He asks a page if
he's seen her, and learns she was seen heading for the baths.  She goes
underwater as soon as she sees Ahab, but he undresses and pursues.  She
emerges, turns her back to him, and sniffles.  She says she understands
how he felt coming out of the cursed pool, since she feels emasculated
now, and she doesn't want him to see her like this.  He doesn't
understand, since she doesn't look any different.  She feels different,
though.  Ahab moves up behind her, puts his arms around her, and points
out that the war won't last forever.  She's not sure she wants to take the
Logrus again, but she can't live without it, either.  He tells her she has
plenty of time to think about it.  She doesn't know how she can face
anyone until then.  She bursts into tears and ducks under water.  Ahab
follows her, but can't stay down there nearly as long.  She cries for
about half an hour.  When she's done, he tells her about Nicholas'
problems.  He can't understand why the boy listens to him, but ignores his
mother and his tutors.  She points out that Nicholas does idolize him, and
she's even caught him practicing Ahab's looks in the mirror.  They both
figure Ahab will have to be the one who disciplines him.  He figures he
should talk to Laughter and Ariana.  Kimdyl asks to be left alone for a
while.  Ahab considers having Riftvan kidnap Nicholas one more time, just
to teach Riftvan a lesson.  Kimdyl is unenthusiastic about this idea, and
tells him not to kill the boy.

	Driscoll Trumps Laughter and goes through to her.  She asks after
his newfound daughter, and offers to help him with her.  She also winds up
telling him all about her pregnancy and her trouble with Mandor.  This
seems to help him, somehow.

	Riftvan wakes up Ariana and tells her that he tried to see Mandor,
but he wasn't in a mood to be disturbed.  They discuss names for the baby
(or babies), and Riftvan reveals that he's going to let Foster leave the
House.  Mandor is not likely to be pleased about this.


Quotables:

"How is the war against the Hendrakes going?" -- Alex
"Poorly." -- GM
"Stupid King." -- Alex

"Ahab's busy contemplating annihilating the universe and calling it a
mercy killing." -- Jason to GM

"It's not the baby, it's the hormones." -- GM to Laughter
"Make psychic contact with your hormones and tell them to shut up." -- Jason

"All you have to do is summon Mebd and bind her to you." -- Liam
"I've thought about that." -- Matt

"(Nicholas) is studying, you shouldn't interrupt him." -- Kris
"Yes I should, I don't want him growing up to be smart." -- Jason

"Being dead would be more than just a serious problem." -- Ahab to Nicholas

"Stop looking like a Jesby in the headlights." -- Llewella to Bart

"Bart's a real momma's boy, um girl, whatever." -- Matt to the group at large

"Dara's moving up the list.  Not of people to kill, but people to avoid. 
People to get someone else to kill." -- Alex to GM

"Does that mean you're mad?" -- Laughter
"What?" -- Mandor
"That whole eye thing." -- Laughter

"In Chaos, appearance is everything." -- Mandor
"I'll stay in Amber." -- Laughter

"Laughter is so stupid!" -- Merrie to the group at large

"Any pain that you cause me, I choose to feel." -- Laughter
"That's a side to Fiona that I was not aware of." -- Mandor
"I'm pretty sure that's not from Fiona." -- Laughter

"You should lay eggs." -- Clytemnestra to Ariana, commenting on her
morning sickness

"Guess what, Grandpa, I've gotten Fiona's daughter pregnant." -- Felix
paraphrasing Foster to Gerard

"Foster shares more information with trees than he does with me." -- Felix
to Gerard

"What is this, the blind leading the dumb?" -- GM, referring to Laughter
and Felix

"I am still male, right?" -- Ahab to GM

(Kimdyl) doesn't bust you in the chops, so you think you're doing OK." --
GM to Ahab

"The naughty boy detector in (Ahab's) chin is going off." -- Sean