Chapter Fifty-six: "I was winning until they hit me on the head."

	Laughter takes Ariana to the library.  Riftvan remains behind with
Morgan.  Fiona shows up and offers to take Laughter out of Foil.  Laughter
is rather surprised by this change of heart.  Fiona brings Laughter to the
Primal Pattern and instructs her in how to walk it.  Sequence explores the
nearby cave and finds a dragon.  It asks "Mom" if it can kill it.  This is
followed by a loud roar and Sequence emerges bathed in flame.  Laughter
asks what it means if she walks the Pattern.  Fiona tells her she will be
able to leave Foil whenever she wants.  Laughter asks if Fiona will be
upset if she does.  Fiona claims they're beyond that.  Laughter asks if
she can bring Sequence with her.  Fiona doesn't advise it.  Laughter
decides to anyway.  She walks the Pattern.  Sequence can feel Laughter's
pain and doesn't like it at all.  When Laughter reaches the Final Veil,
Sequence becomes silent.  Laughter reaches the center of the Pattern, but
has no idea what to do now that she's there.  Fiona didn't give her any
advice on that.  Sequence remains unresponsive.  Laughter idly thinks that
she'd like to go to Amber, and there she is.

	Bart spends the night rewarding Molly for helping him assimilate
into the land culture.  Ahab engages in his usual form of foreplay with
Kimdyl: bickering.  Usires crashes in a tent by the castle remains.  So
does Alex.

	Felix asks Foster what he's been doing.  Foster says he's been
telling Rinaldo what happened.  Rinaldo agrees with the opinion expressed
so far by most of the adults: Foster's actions were stupid.  Foster
mentions that their side of the family tends to be a bit slow.  He figures
he got his wit from the Chaos side.  Felix doesn't appreciate this.  He
goes to bed.

	Bart wakes up the next morning and Trumps Llewella.  She comments
that this is getting to be a habit.  He tells her what happened to
Driscoll.  Llewella looks calculating when she hears about Driscoll's
amnesia.  Bart tells her that Usires is one of Caine's, but she knew that
already.  He notes that Benedict gave Usires his ax back, which displeased
Felix.  He comments that not much pleases Felix.  Llewella figures Felix
will forget about it.  Bart's not so sure about Ahab and Alex.  Llewella
notes that Ahab can be distracted, and she can deal with Alex.  Bart tells
her that they discovered he walked the Pattern.  She's not surprised.  She
tells him picking Felix as his father was a bad choice.  She suggests
picking Ahab instead.  He tells her he has a date with Lyss.  She tells
him to choose someone other than Ahab then.  Bart asks why.  She explains
that Ahab is Lyss' father.  Sort of.  She decides that Bart's news doesn't
equal hers.  She won't tell him what her news is until he brings her
something better.  She hints that it has to do with him and suggests he
change his locale if he wants to find better information.  Bart gets a
determined look on his face.

	Ahab starts poking around Arden with a Pattern lens.  He notices
that all of Julian's men are on alert and spies lots of Stormhound
carcasses, along with those of a few men.  Julian does not appear to be
happy.  Ahab and Kimdyl engage in some more of their usual bickering. 
She's not interested in sex, so he goes jogging.

	Ariana's research in the library reveals that Laughter's sisters
and niece were killed by the na siogai because they were half- breeds. 
She is disturbed by this and asks Riftvan if all Faeries feel this way. 
He claims that it's only those in Foil, which he refers to as the
hinterlands.  She asks if he's been to Foil before and he admits that he
has.  He's knows of Laughter's brother, Calamus, who betrayed his family
to the na siogai.  Laughter beheaded him in a duel.  Ariana asks if it's
possible to shift from Foil to Tir-na Nog'th.  He says it is, but you
still have to be Faerie to get in.  She asks how she was able to Trump him
from Tir-na Nog'th when there's a Trump barrier.  He says it depends on
the phase of the moon.  He refuses to tell her the relationship between
the Shadow and the city in the sky, claiming it would spoil the fun.  She
asks who he thinks should be the children's guardians if both of them die. 
He figures either the Faeries or someone from her family would do,
although he'd prefer the Faeries.  She asks who else knows about the
cancer and learns she's the only one.  He tells her you get Chaos cancer
by overtaxing your shapeshifting abilities.  In his case, this occurred
when he was shifting to survive the poison.  He's OK in his current form
because it has no connection with primal chaos.  It might spread, however
if he shifted to another one.  She tells him about Sand blowing up the
castle.

	Usires joins the rubble clearing crew.  Alex searches the rubble
and finds some Trumps.  Unfortunately they're of Corwin, Dworkin, Delwin,
Driscoll and Fiona, so they're not as useful as he'd hoped.  He looks
around and spots Ahab running up and down the stairs of Kolvir.  Felix
clears rubble until lunch.  Bart scouts out the town looking for a good
place to take Lyss for dinner.  Ahab decides he's had enough of jogging in
circles and helps out around the castle.

	Bart gets some new (rather loud) clothes and heads back to the
castle remains, looking for Martin.  Laughter appears in right in front of
him.  Bart's eyes bug out and he hastens to catch up with her.  Sequence
thinks this is cool.  Laughter's arrival does not go unnoticed by the rest
of the castle crew, and everyone except Usires heads in that direction,
much to Bart's chagrin.  Naturally, Ahab arrives first.  Laughter mentions
that she's tired.  Bart tries to guide her to a place to rest, but
Laughter refuses to be led.  She notes that she's seen Ahab's Trump but
she hasn't seen Bart's.  Ahab introduces Bart as "the man who has a date
with my daughter tonight."  Laughter introduces herself.

	Alex joins the group.  He looks at Bart's clashing colors and
comments that Rebmites must be colorblind.  Laughter mentions that she's
just walked the Pattern.  Alex tells her he's the Chaos ambassador. 
Laughter says she hasn't heard good things about Chaos.  Ahab says there
are two kinds of Chaosites, decent ones and ones that you know aren't. 
Laughter figures that they're better than Faeries.  Ahab replies that it's
funny she should mention that.  Bart claims first Brand, then Julian as
his Amber parent.  The others find Julian more believable, since there is
a resemblance.  Ahab asks how Bart's brother is doing, referring to Shard. 
Bart is confused.  Ahab asks why Laughter came to Amber.  Laughter says
she doesn't know.  Ahab figures she's doing well.  Bart asks if she wants
a drink.  She observes that it would be rude to vomit on his shoes,
although it would be an improvement in his case.

	Felix arrives on the scene and is introduced.  Bart tells Felix
he's Julian's son, so Felix is off the hook.  Felix gives Laughter his
jacket, since she's not exactly dressed for winter (it was summer in
Foil).  Ahab offers to take her into town.  She accepts, and everyone else
is eager to tag along.  Ahab shows off by using the Pattern to take them
all to a nice restaurant (although he does try to leave Bart behind).

	In a most unusual display, the cousins all decide to tell their
stories and be truthful.  Bart offers to go first.  Laughter casts a
Faerie spell on him to ensure that he's telling the truth.  It's supposed
to turn the subject blue if they lie.  Bart isn't happy about this.  He
starts insulting Felix's intelligence.  Felix does not take this well at
all.  He starts insulting Bart in return.  Bart starts to leave, but
Laughter calls him back.  Felix notices that a bunch of sailors nearby
have turned blue.  When they stop talking, it fades.  Further observation
reveals that it seems to be happening all over the restaurant.  Ooops. 
Apparently something increased the range on Laughter's spell.  Most of the
patrons decide to leave.  Bart begins his story by claiming that there's
not much to tell.  He immediately turns blue.  He says the truth of the
matter is that he's a Rebman spy.  Bart and Felix exchange more insults. 
Bart decides beer must not be good for Felix and takes Felix's mug away. 
Felix is not pleased.  The others warn Bart that this is a bad idea. 
Felix wants to know how Laughter walked the Pattern when it's under the
castle.  Bart points out that there's more than one.  Ahab adds that he
knows of at least five.  Laughter says there was a cave and a dragon near
the Pattern she walked.  Ahab figures it must have been the Primal
Pattern.  He thinks that either makes her an elder, or one of the
red-head's children.  Laughter replies that she doesn't know the color of
her father's hair, leaving little doubt in everyone's mind as to who her
mother is.  Alex tells Laughter that she needs to learn how to be more
evasive.

	Bleys walks into the restaurant and approaches their table.  Felix
asks if he can stop them from turning blue.  Ahab tells Bleys that Fiona
thinks he's an asshole, which amuses him.  He asks to speak to Laughter
for a moment.  Ahab introduces them.  Laughter says they've met.  Bleys
takes her out of earshot and asks what she said to her mother.  Laughter
says she objected strongly to being left in that Shadow.  Bleys figures
that explains her presence and Fiona's absence.  He guesses that Fiona
didn't explain anything about the Pattern or what comes afterward and
offers to cover for Fiona by playing Laughter's father for a while. 
Laughter points out that she kind of blew that already and explains what
happened.  Bleys admits that it will be tough to displace the idea from
Felix's head.  Laughter tells him about the spell she cast and the
unexpected results.  Bleys tells her that Faerie magic will be running
wild right now.  Sequence says it doesn't want to cover for Fiona. 
Laughter reminds it of cufflinks.  Sequence complains that she's taunting
it.  She replies that taunting would be telling it there was a na siogai
in the room.  It leaps out of her scabbard and flies around the room
looking for one.  Truly a sword of little brain.

	Bart excuses himself and leaves.  Felix wonders if Bart is Julian
and Llewella's and finds it a revolting thought.  Ahab figures Bart is
Llewella's, because he gets evasive when she's mentioned and she's the
only person he hasn't claimed as his Amber parent.

	Bart notices a thin line of smoke rising from Arden.  He goes back
to his room and Trumps Llewella.  He tells her about the smoke over Arden. 
Then he tells her all about Laughter.  Llewella's eyes sparkle when she
hears that Laughter is Fiona's.  She suggests he call Laughter "giggles". 
Bart is thinking of "titter".  He tells Llewella that Laughter has found a
way to cast spells in Amber, while he can't do so.  He also tells her
about Sequence.  Llewella decides his information was good enough and
gives him her news: she's arranged the best of marriages for him.  Bart is
quite shocked, to say the least.  He asks when.  Llewella says the wedding
will occur when it's appropriate.  His intended's name is Lilith.  Bart
asks who she is and is told that she's the Duke's new daughter.  He'll
have to wait a while for the wedding, but Llewella doesn't think that will
be a problem.  Bart asks if Lilith has any objections.  Llewella points
out that Lilith is only three weeks old.  Bart claims he was just trying
to make the best of the situation and turns blue.  Llewella asks why he
did that.  He says it was the magic.  She asks what Laughter did.  He
evades the question.  She asks what the trigger is for the color change. 
He doesn't want to say.  She persists and he eventually gives in and tells
her.  She decides she doesn't want the spell removed.

	The others give Laughter a bit of an explanation about the
destruction of the castle.  Laughter doesn't understand why the na siogai
haven't overrun the place.  When she explains what she means by na siogai,
Felix comments that he was a Faerie once.  Laughter finds this confusing. 
Foster runs in and tells Felix that Arden is on fire.  Alex says that's
terrible and turns blue.  Ahab tries to Trump Julian but can't get
through.  Alex opines that Julian's son is behind it.  No, not Bart, the
liar.  The dim one.  No, not Felix either.  Felix Trumps Gerard and tells
him that Arden's on fire.

	Ahab Trumps Kimdyl.  She asks what he's done this time.  He asks
if that's any way to greet her husband.  She says that depends.  He says
she's right and turns blue.  Kimdyl is nonplused.  He gives her the news
and says he'd like to come through to get his armor.  After he turns blue
a few more times Kimdyl figures out the trigger.

	Alex goes up to the ruins of the castle.  Laughter follows and
asks what he's doing.  He says he intends to watch.  She asks if they
shouldn't help.  He says that's Ahab's department.  Laughter is disturbed
by the fact that Alex's eyes are a uniform gray with no pupils.  Alex
notices her reaction and shapeshifts to have normal eyes.  Felix Trumps
Gerard again and asks to come through.  Bart wanders around town getting
drunk.

	Ahab Trumps Ghostwheel.  He asks if it can dump an ocean over
Arden to put out the fire.  Ghostwheel says it doesn't work that way but
it'll try its best.  Those observing the forest see a column of water the
square width of a football field appear over the forest and drop.  It puts
out most of the fire.  It also knocks just about everyone in Arden off of
their feet and drives Julian to his knees.  He Trumps Ahab and tells him
"Don't do that again."  Ahab Trumps Ghostwheel and tells it Julian doesn't
think that was a good idea.  Ahab teleports himself to Arden and finds
himself right into the middle of Dalt's charge.  Shard appears to be
helping Dalt.  Ahab hunts cover and manages to elude Dalt's notice. 
Battlestar pauses in passing but keeps going.  The charge heads straight
for Amber.  Those on the hill spot the charge as it emerges from Arden.

	Ariana realizes that Riftvan is rather drunk.  He claims he's not
used to not being able to compensate for the effects of alcohol.  He tries
to persuade her that making everyone look in Foil look like Faeries would
be fun.  She disagrees.  She doesn't think making them look like women is
a good idea either.  Riftvan tries to leave but she won't let go of his
wrist.  He suggests going through Laughter's drawers.  She tries to get
him to sleep it off.  He claims he has to go to the bathroom.  She lets
him go after he promises that's all he's going to do.  Naturally, he
doesn't return.  Ariana Trumps Ahab, who tells her that Dalt is attacking
Amber.  She Trumps Felix.  After she explains who she is, he says she
looks like a Barbie doll.  She points out that she doesn't call him dim,
so she'd appreciate it if he'd refrain from calling her a Barbie.  Felix
tells her that Amber is being attacked and asks if she wants to come
through.  She says she can't at the moment and asks if someone new has
appeared in Amber recently.  He mentions Laughter.  Ariana asks to speak
with her.  Felix is confused but brings Laughter into the link.  Ariana
asks if Laughter has ever seen what happens when a Faerie gets drunk
before.  Laughter decides to come through.

	Ahab tries to teleport ahead of Shard but gets tackled by
Battlestar.  It becomes obvious that Battlestar has the upper hand.  He
suggests that Ahab play dead for a while and warns he'll take it badly if
he sees Ahab near Shard again.  Ahab opts to follow Battlestar's advice,
for the moment.  Dalt's men enter the town.  Benedict brings his men up
behind Dalt's.  The two forces engage each other in the middle of town. 
Felix starts taking out horses by throwing rocks at them.  Ahab Trumps
Gerard and comes through to join the battle.

	Laughter discovers that everyone in Foil looks like Fiona.  While
she's watching, they grow beards.  She tries to remove the glamour and
fails.  Riftvan realizes that he can talk while non- corporeal.  Ariana
manages to convince him to become solid although they have to promise not
to hurt him first.  Sequence shreds his clothes instead.  Riftvan is not
happy.  Laughter asks him to remove the glamour, but he claims he's much
too drunk to do so.  He and Sequence exchange insults, so Sequence goes
after him again.  He hides behind Ariana.  Sequence threatens to remove
her clothes, too.  Riftvan motions that it should do so.  Sequence passes
this along to Ariana.  She steps out of the way.  Sequence flies over and
gives Riftvan what would be a really close shave if Faeries had beards. 
Ariana and Laughter try to get Riftvan to drink a concoction to sober him
up.  He proves uncooperative and manages to spill most of it.  Sequence
continues to threaten Riftvan.  He turns invisible and stands behind
Ariana, wrapping his arms around her.  Ariana shifts the subject and asks
Laughter about her trip to Amber.  Riftvan is bored by the conversation
and quickly falls asleep.  Ariana grabs his arms before he slides to the
floor and carries him to bed.

	Gerard and Felix engage Battlestar with difficulty.  Ahab uses his
power to force Shard to call off Battlestar and attack Dalt.  Shard
punches Dalt and knocks him off of his horse.  Ahab tells him to use his
whip.  Shard complies and makes short work of Dalt.  With Dalt out of the
picture, Ahab orders Shard to go over to Benedict.  He suggests that
Benedict knock Shard out and make him a prisoner.  Benedict lets Julian do
the honors.  Julian is more than happy to clock his son.  He throws Shard
on Morgenstern and rides off.  Benedict suggests that Ahab be more careful
in the future.  Ahab explains that he was practicing for Sand.

	Felix can't find Foster and is concerned.  Bart, who managed to
avoid being injured despite wandering around drunk in the middle of the
battle, stumbles across the lad.  Foster has a concussion.  Bart gives him
some Bayles to drink (hey, it worked for Bart).  Felix asks Rinaldo if he
knows where Foster is.  Rinaldo says he last saw him gnawing on a leg. 
Felix Trumps Foster.  He learns about the concussion and asks Foster to
come through.  Foster insists he'll be fine, they only hit him in the
head.  Then again, he's seeing triple and kind of wobbly...

	Random comes walking up the street wearing the Jewel.  Felix tells
him about Driscoll's amnesia and asks where he's been.  Random says it's
hard to explain and now is not the time.  He and Benedict go off and talk.

	Felix yells at Rinaldo for reading the note addressed to him. 
Rinaldo says he thought it might indicate that Foster had done something
stupid.  Ahab asks why he didn't find Felix after he read it.  The log has
no record of the answer, but it must have been good.

	Sometime in here, Battlestar tells Felix that Shard ran into a
cloaked woman and then things got all nasty.  Or maybe Battlestar told
Ahab who told Felix.  My notes aren't clear.

	Ariana Trumps Felix and passes Laughter through.  Felix is happy
to get his cloak back.  Ariana asks how the fight went.  Felix tells her
that Benedict's forces won, but Foster got a concussion.  He adds that
Bart gave Foster alcohol.  Ariana tells him to hit Bart.  Felix relays the
information that was obtained from Battlestar.  They both agree that it
sounds like Sand was involved.  Felix tells Ariana about Laughter's spell. 
She finds this delightful and asks him to show her the effect.  Felix
demonstrates by saying that Shard was highly regarded in intellectual
circles.  He turns a lovely shade of blue.  Ariana warns Felix to keep an
eye on Foster, since he's in danger of slipping into a coma.

	Laughter says that Riftvan is mischievous but not that bad.  Ahab
points out that he hasn't kidnapped her children yet.  Laughter corrects
him by saying child, thereby giving away the fact that she has one (sort
of).  Lyss joins the group.  Ahab tries to discourage her from going on
her date with "fish boy".  She points out that this will only drive her to
sleep with Bart.  Ahab says that's sick.  Lyss notes that he obviously
knows nothing about the female psyche.  He points out that he knows
nothing about psyche in general.  She suggests he stay out of it then. 
After all, he didn't raise her.  He points out that she'd asked him to
look after her, but obviously that was a mistake.  He walks away.  Lyss is
most upset by this.  She spends the evening crying in Rebma with Bart.

	Laughter holds onto Foster for Felix.  Foster mumbles something
about seeing Rimfall if he finishes his lessons.  Felix is concerned and
asks if Foster can do anything about his concussion.  Foster says he's
working on it.  Felix asks Alex what Rimfall is.  Alex asks why he wants
to know.  They explain what Foster said.  Alex is his usual helpful self
(that is to say, not at all).

	Mirelle flirts with Usires.  She tells him to kiss her hand.  When
he does, she shows him how women should respond.  She asks what brings him
to Amber.  He tells her that he was in an accident.  She points at Felix
and says that one has a very clean bum.  She knows because she plucked it
bald herself.  He was being very naughty.  Usires looks around for help
and finds none.

	Felix tells Laughter that Riftvan is not really a Faerie.  Neither
is Ariana.  Alex says that Riftvan is the Head of a House in Chaos. 
Laughter asks why cold iron affected him.  Alex says that if he was in
Faerie form he has to live with the rules.

	Ariana Trumps Felix and asks to speak to Laughter.  Felix
complies.  Ariana tells Laugher that she needs to talk to her again. 
Laughter figures she needs to put Beauty to bed, anyway.  Ariana pulls her
through.  She asks Laughter not to mention Morgan to anyone, since if it's
known that he's alive, he won't be for long.  Laughter reveals that she
knows Ariana isn't a Faerie.  Ariana figures Fiona already brought
Laughter to Amber, so there's no point in keeping quiet about it anymore. 
She admits that she's an Amberite and gives Laughter her opinion on some
of her relatives.  She also offers Laughter Trumps of Ahab and Felix, who
she says are good people to know since they don't like the family games. 
Laughter takes her up on the offer.


Quotes of the day:

"Don't give me that look.  I don't know where you've been." -- Felix to
Bart

"What do you know about pedestrian, fish boy?" -- Felix to Bart

"I was a Faerie once and I didn't like it at all." -- Felix

"Hang on a second, I'm in the middle of Ahab." -- GM

"It means you're being socialized normally." -- Felix
"Normally is perhaps too strong a word." -- Ahab

"I was winning until they hit me on the head." -- Foster to Felix