Session Seven
It was with some reluctance that Grayson and I made our goodbyes and prepared to leave Avalon. Though not to my tastes, Avalon is certainly less worrisome than Amber...and the conflicts that I felt necessary to address left us both in some state of anxiety. Looking back, I suspect I would have been far happier to have missed out on the evening's events. Mother would have eventually forgiven my absence; I am not certain that she will forgive the actions that resulted from my presence there.
Nothing is ever easy in Amber, and so naturally my attempts to trump mother went unanswered. Silly me, why should she be reachable on the day of my confirmation? I explained the situation to Grayson, taking great care not to allow my irritation to show as he is a skittish boy and already reluctant to leave this place. Together we trumped to Castle Amber, proceeding to my rooms in search of answers...and more questions.
I had barely begun to greet to my maid Elaine, when that oafish cousin of mine, Ishmael, burst through the door. My flat stare and chilly expression must have conveyed worlds of meaning, for he did not attempt an attack just then. Grayson was more than a little startled by his entrance, as was Elaine, but thankfully neither lost control of their senses or their bodily functions. I ignored Ishmael's posturing and informed him about Jack's returne to Amber. After giving him a few precious details, I retired to my bedroom with Elaine, who provided me with a careful recounting of what had transpired in my absence, as well as information regarding events I had missed while in the Castle. Admittedly, I did have to 'prod' Elaine a bit psychically to make her trust me, but it seemed expedient without being detrimental to her well-being.
When I returned to the parlor, Ishmael had already gone. Grayson informed me that he had claimed some prior business to attend to. Being in Amber has obviously ruined Ishmael's abilty to focus...and of late he is more easily distracted that a pre-adolescent boy. I do hope this phases passes soon.
Elaine was kind enough to escort Grayson into Amber City to get him properly clothed for the evening's events, and so freed from that burden, I was able to look into the issue of why mother had not yet returned, and what might be done to prevent Jack from creating too much chaos at the confirmation ceremony that evening.
The first person I contacted was Teresa, using the trump she had provided. Teresa was wearing some strange technological armor that hurt to look at, its angles were so foreign to me, but when I asked her to come through, she was more than willing. As with any request put to Teresa (aside from sexual invitations of the more sapphic nature), she quite resistant to my request for aid, trying to frame the issue in terms of it being my responsibility. I plainly reminded her that Jack was the responsibility of all of us, and those of us who were best acquainted with his skills should try to do our part to hinder his freedom in Amber. Eventually she agreed to follow my more-than-sensible suggestions, and said that she would be at the ball...and armed.
After leaving her, I then contacted Nicholas via trump, and was brought through to his office. This, by the way, was my third trump call that morning and I could already begin to feel the tell-tale twinges of a headache coming on, but there was little I could do about it. The people of Amber needed to be warned that my old tutor was on the prowl in Amber Castle, and could be counted upon to help with the entertainment at the night's festivities. After explaining the situation to Nicholas, he was able to provide a fairly constructive suggestion...perhaps locating a Faerie Ward would aid us in resisting Jack. Teresa had told me of these fabled stones which were resistant to all Faerie Magic, but Jack had been quick to discount such things as myths...naturally. Nicholas had sent Vixen on a mission to locate one, and thought that perhaps I could aid her on this. I was loathe to help Eric's slattern, but if it could aid us against the avatar of Faerie, then certainly I could swallow my hostility and work with the whore who would be queen. I am certain Nicholas noted my grimace when he handed me a trump of Vixen...my fourth trump call of the day...I was certain to be in lovely shape for the ball that night.
Vixen was notably suspicious of my offer to help...but she did pull me through the trump to some woodland location off in shadow. We talk briefly about what strategy she was using to find the stones (next to no strategy). It occurred to me that perhaps I could modify one of my spells...an enchantment used to detect Faerie Magic...such that she could literally smell the presence of Faerie Magic. I had considered this possibility once in the past, but I was never very adept at using my sense of smell in an animal form. Little more than a beast in all fashions of the word, Vixen was more than adept at using her nose to find things. Before I cast the enchantment, she contacted someone via trump...probably to ensure that nothing untoward would happen. How tiresome. As if I couldn't have just fried her long before she even got the trump out of her bag. Fortunately for her, however, I do not believe in killing family members...a lesson she could do well to learn.
When I completed the spell, she smiled and indicated that it had worked, but before I could even ask how to best proceed from there, she struck me squarely in the face, knocking me unconscious. When I awoke, my nose was broken and my hair and collar were stained with dried blood. The shriek I emitted at that point probably frightened fauna for a good two miles, but did little to ameliorate my temper. I looked for her...tramped about a bit...burned down a few trees in rage, and then composed myself. My head was throbbing slightly at this point, but having no other choice, I pulled out my trump card of Ariana.
She answered immediately and pulled me through to Amber Castle. She immediately sent the children out of the room and was kind enough to heal my nose. Wouldn't I have looked charming at the ball with half my face black and blue? Luckily, Ariana is a kind and talented woman, who would not force me to endure such pain and embarrassment. I explained to her what had happened, as well as informing her about what I had learned earlier about Vixen's attempt to assassinate the Countess Leto and her unborn child. Like myself, she was not terribly happy about this. I also informed her about Jack, and like myself, she agreed that we should prepared for the worst at the ball.
Leaving her, I immediately trumped Nicholas, which was a mistake, for the pain that shot through my head reminded me that I had already made one too many trump calls that day. I do not know how mother manages it. Trump call number five was brief. I asked him if he was in his office; he said yes. I walked there.
While reaching for his trump card, which I keep separate from the rest, I found a package in my bag addressed to him. The handwriting was unfamiliar; no doubt it is Vixen's work. I was tempted to open it to see if it was the Faerie Stone, but it was not my package...and the likelihood of Vixen giving anyone anything useful seemed slim.
I was with Nicholas for perhaps an hour and was quite careful to explain to him exactly what I thought of Vixen and his decision to have me 'help' her. At this point I realized that I was still rather bloody and conjured up a moist cloth to clean my face. I must have looked a fright because Nicholas listened carefully and seemed concerned...quite different from his normal reaction to my tirades. He listened...I raved...and felt much better for it. After giving him the package, I headed off to find Ishmael. He had been in such a flutter to tell me something this morning, and had seemed constrained by the presence of Elaine and Grayson. It seemed to me that I should probably find out what was on his so-called mind.
I went to his quarters, and he wasn't there. I went to my quarters, and he wasn't there. I checked to see if mother had returned, and she wasn't there. Grumbling to myself, I drew out his trump card and made call number six. Ishmael was being petty and didn't want to pull me through...and my head was throbbing worse with each passing moment of trump conversation, so I finally ordered him to pull me through. Not too surprisingly, he obeyed. I arrived in Amber City, and Ishmael seemed quite tense. I recognized what was going on altogether too well, having seen the effects of his crushes while we were in Chaos. Nothing worse than a teenage boy badly in need of his first lay, and that pretty much described Ishmael. We talked briefly about Jack, but he seemed rather distracted. He said he needed money, so I gave him some, and then he mentioned meeting Alexandra. I could tell by the way he said her name that he was attracted to her, and in a half-moment a wicked idea was born. I was quiet and coy when I offered to introduce him to her...and though he was suspicious, it was not for the right reasons. He assumed that I was leading him on to get what I want, not realizing that introducing him could be exactly what I wanted instead. Such wicked fun.
From what I have been told, she has a tendency to revile men for the slimmest of reasons, and Ishmael loves nothing so much as that which he cannot have. Introducing the two of them should allow for some amusing scenes.
After leaving him, I headed to the dressmaker's shop. If I was to lure Jack that evening, no simple dress would do, and so after an hour or so, they had made the necessary adjustments, plunging the neckline to a more provacative depth, and exposing a bit of my upper arms. You see, by this point I had come up with a plan. I would lure Jack in for a dance, use my magic to hold him for but a moment so that Teresa, Ariana, and Ishmael could catch hold of him. With him distracted, Grayson would be able to revoke the invitation and the problem would be solved. Too bad it didn't quite work out that way.
I returned to Amber on horseback, took a long bath, and had Elaine help me get dressed for the ball. Looking at myself in the mirror, I was amazed to see the results of the transformation. Certainly, I would turn a few heads that evening. The only real nuisance was that my headband just didn't go with the dress. And so I fitted it around my thigh, and stitched it to my bloomers, so that I could access the spells stored within it in case of emergency.
The pre-confirmation dance and reception was beautiful. Ishmael of course had to begin with an obnoxious comment about my looking much better when I bathe. I must remember to find some spell to shrink his penis to nothingness. Jack was there, appearing and disappearing, and standing in the middle of the dance floor I was eventually able to persuade him to dance with me.
What to say...he dances wonderfully...I practically floated across the floor, and though he wore another face, it was his voice and his power that held me in its arms. I realize that it's foolish, but I suspect that I am falling in love with him...or at least my approximation of love. He told me that he had stolen Grayson's voice and hidden it. That, of course, meant that my plans were quite ruined, but I have never been very good at accepting defeat, and so I tried further to keep him there. The others were moving in and to keep him distracted I mentioned a possibility that had occurred to me...that by marrying me he might gain permanent access to Amber...and that I might then gain access to Faerie and all of its power. He smiled at that, and his smile brought heat to my face...gods but he was exciting to me. I pressed close to him and clutched his arm, and he saw them coming. He tried to break free, and so I triggered one of my enchantments to grant me the kind of strength that even he could not break.
And then we began to sink through the floor. I have heard of this spell, but never had cause to learn or utilize it, but I'm fairly certain that the fact that my metal jewelry was not sinking with us was a new modification to the spell. Without my jewelry, my magical capabilities would be practically eliminated, and so I made one last-ditch effort to stop him by conjuring the cold-iron handcuffs, which held us together. When the spikes thrust through the cuffs into his wrist, he shrieked, and then under the force of his magic I lost consciousness.
I admit that I had not anticipated being captured by him. In the very heart of Amber Castle, surrounded by family members who had been warned about him and about how to stop him...and they could not protect me. In the end, their power was nothing compared to his. Mother did not come to save me...why did I think she would?
I awoke, bound in an uncomfortable position...and more than a little exposed. In a particularly juvenile response to the pain I had inflicted upon him, Jack decided that he should spank me. Oh, the Fates are indeed cruel to make his reaction this tiresome. Then again, that is probably precisely why he did it. At first I thought to resist him by using a spell to protect myself, but alas, I had no magic custom-designed to protect my posterior, and much to my chagrin, my conjuration worked not at all...for he had brought me to Faerie.
Eventually he released me, and we talked, and he showed me the Faerie Circle and told me what I would gain from walking it. What a tease he is...to show me that kind of power and offer it on a silver plate. Such temptation I have never felt before. I could be his bride...perhaps rule a portion of Faerie...walk the Circle and become a spellcaster second only to Jack...and who knows in time what I might do.
But I digress, he wanted to let me think it over, knowing that pressuring me would only result in a negative response, and so he returned me to Amber. I bumped my head, and in the darkness perceived a great many legs on all sides of me. I was under the grand dining table. I concentrated a moment and created a flare of light at the far end of the room. While they were distracted, I quickly got into the nearest empty chair. Alexandra was to my right, with mother and father just beyond her...and across from me was Ishmael. My first thought was, "I'm in hell."
I really do not know what to say about dinner. Mother was quite angry with me, and even used magic to bind me...to prevent me from casting spells, though in truth I wasn't even tempted to. Ishmael was true to form and after embarrassing himself quite a bit, I introduced him to Alexandra, my sister, formally. He responded by licking her hand. Then his father Luther (who I have never before met) took him into the hall and battered him about. When he returned, mother put a silence spell on him and dinner passed relatively peacefully...except that some of us were still shaken at his loud comment about Alexandra working at a whorehouse in Amber City...and Jack sitting in the empty chair next to Eric...and Eric's constant accusatory glances. Apparently Vixen and Ronin were missing. I wonder if it was Eric she trumped, and if he now blames me for her disappearance? As if the day weren't bad enough.
After dinner we walked back to the main hall, me adjusting my jewelry as I went. (Ariana and Ishmael were kind enough to gather my things from the ballroom.) Ishmael was being nosy, but since mother was obviously listening, I did not tell him much.
And I was given the title of Duchess of Amber. Hoo-rah. When Random led me up, I was mightily tempted to force him not to use my real name. I even flexed my psychic muscle at him and frightened him a bit, but decided not to, as mother was present. As it was, he used both names, and I was content, though the alliteration of Duchess Dahlia is more foul than a sailor's limerick.
At the dance afterwords, which was strictly family and friends, I danced with Ishmael and Grayson. It was relatively relaxed. Grayson could not speak, but we did speak psychically, and he is pleasant to chat with. I was tired, though, and so I sat down early and talked with Mirelle, who is ever so delightful...especially when drunk. She showed me the joys of a substance called 'propane' and I let her try Tarrakhan wine, which she loved. We talked about men, and then I noticed the engagement ring on my finger...which I could not removed. She noted it as well, and we talked. I remember saying something about men always being so serious, and noting a rather shrill edge on my voice, I decided that I had been through enough for one evening. And so I went upstairs to take a hot bath and contemplate what had transpired.
Elaine made my bath, and I thanked her profusely for her help that day. I was barely in my bubble bath for ten minutes before Jack arrived. He sat on the edge of my tub, one idle finger making little circles in the water...said circles slowly but certainly causing my suds to dwindle. Men are men, and avatar or shadow, they are all pigs. We talked, exchanged our little barbs, and though I dared him he would not even consent to allow me to place a slender chain about his wrist. I smiled at his refusal, as it would seem to indicate that I could trick him somehow...or perhaps he just wants me think I could. He made some annoying comments about my being responsible for Vixen's disappearance, and I criticized his rather feeble attempt at causing me to question my own memories. Such mind-games seem rather juvenile to someone raised by Fiona and Caine. Before he left, he broke mother's bindings on me...just to be a shit. He knew that she would realize what had happened, and so he was even kind enough to leave his magical signature all over the broken spell. And then he left.
Mother barged in just as I was drying off from my bath, and her entrance frightened me terribly. She took one look at me, and then turned around and left. I followed her into the hall, quickly throwing on a bathrobe and tried to make her talk to me. She refused and said that we would talk in the morning.
Before I went to sleep, I found a way to remove the ring. The enchantments on it are Faerie-based, and thus are incompatible with conjuration. Conjuration magic will not affect it, and so when I used conjuration magic to make my form insubstantial, the ring fell off. At least I know I can remove it if need be.
In the morning, I went to breakfast. I tried to make small talk, and caught on that something strange had transpired between Alexandra and Ishmael, but I am not certain exactly what happened. No meal in Amber is complete without a painful revealing of past secrets, however, and apparently it was my turn that morning, for when Ishmael noticed the ring on my hand, he insisted on asking about it...loudly. I blushed and claimed that I had picked it up in shadow, and his response was to ask whether or not I'd kill him like the last one. Everything got very silent then, and I resolved to work a little harder on that penis-shrinkage spell. After breakfast, I returned to my room to write down all that had happened.
What can I say? I am honestly scared...and at the same time terribly excited. If I marry Jack, all of Faerie is at my fingertips...the power gained from the Faerie Circle is extreme, but being bride of the Avatar is so much more. And I do desire him.... Of course, he has been with me since I was a child, and so it isn't all that surprising that I desire him...that is probably what he has been working toward for some time. Could I face sleeping with him, though, after what happened with Edwin? And more importantly, what if he expects to have a child? He may just be using me, but can I turn my back on him now, knowing that he might curse me as he did Nimue. And what will mother have to say about all of this? I cannot put this all into a simple diary entry; there are just too many questions. Ambition tells me that I can be sorceress supreme, Queen of Faerie, bride of the avatar of Faerie...titles no women ever before attained. And yet these may be hollow dreams...brass rings thrown up by a man who only wishes to use me for his own whims. Am I to be Daughter of Amber or Queen of Faerie?