Session Six
I find it hard to write about this past day. It would help if I had not left my journal in my quarters. I am not comfortable using the quill pen Clarissa has provided me, and the weather in Avalon is far too warm for my tastes. Nevertheless, it would be foolish not take advantage of this pause to write my feelings.
I spoke with mother. Her reaction was not what I had predicted. She was neither insanely angry with me, nor did she weep as I shared my pain with her. She said that she was disappointed with me for not telling her sooner, and I must admit that I am disappointed with her reaction. So controlled, mother, so perfect. I should not be surprised at how little tolerance you have for such a human failure. Best not to think of it at present.
Ariana was preparing to leave for Ygg. She and a party of my relatives are going to oversee the restoration of the tree. Soon I will not need help getting to Chaos. Perhaps when the bridge is restored my trump of Thorn's grave will work once more, and I can visit him.
Ariana was also concerned about Grayson. Apparently he has vanished. She began her usual hysterics, and as depressed as I was, I made the mistake of telling her how I felt. I think I made some passing comment about her being the most depressing woman in all of Amber. She was not amused, and headed off with red face and few words. Ah well. I never claimed to be mistress of tact.
She was actually quite right to be concerned about Nicholas. I found the residual energies left from his departure, and I recognized the signature. Jack. I was able to augure that Grayson was in Avalon, and so I approached my mother to ask how one reaches Avalon. Her explanation was both graphic and daunting, but I was in no mood to be deterred by my 'delicate' sensibilities.
Eventually I reached Avalon, and I will say nothing of the journey, save that my great-grandmother must indeed be quite demented to have created such a place.
Avalon is warmer than the climate in Amber, and the place seem much more peaceful. I must admit that I like it. From all I have been told, it is like a more scholarly version of Amber. More accurately, I suppose Amber is merely a barbaric copy of Avalon. I met with grandmother Clarissa and had pleasant talk with her, and eventually tracked down Grayson, who was apparently visiting his father.
Grayson is very much Ariana's son. Depressing and overly given to worry and melodrama. I could sense a great deal of defensiveness in him. He has the mentality of one who has been emotionally abused; I should recognize it well enough. Jack was kind enough to tell him that his departure resulted in the death of his adoptive mother in House Eirig. His adoptive father slew her as he could not punish Grayson. And so now Grayson has no one but Jack. I can see where this is going, and judging that Jack aided him in reaching Avalon, I can only assume that he is free in Amber again. Mother will not be happy.
I did what I could to console Grayson, but I must admit that my heart wasn't in it. I very casually explained to him the constraints under which Jack operated. I do not wish to betray his confidences, but I suspect that as soon as I return to Amber I will have to warn mother of Jack's return.
After we talk I visited with other members of the family, and actually met Vixen's father, Blake. He seems a kind man. The more I think about Renard the more I fear for his future. He does not yet know how to speak and already Vixen is teaching him to kill. I do not consider her to be a fit parent in any fashion. She runs a brothel in Amber City, after all! Of course, he is still very young...perhaps I can do something about this situation. Avalon is a peaceful place, with great educational opportunities for a young man. Perhaps Renard would do better by his grandfather's hand?
Lunch with Clarissa was pleasant, though a bit sad. I can sense the strain that Brand's punishment has placed upon her. I would not wish to see a child of mine hurt thusly. But I grow maudlin as warm winds blow through my window carrying the scent of the waters. Something about this place encourages one to be thoughful. But I must not allow myself to be distracted; there is much to do yet. My recognition ceremony is nearly at hand, and I have the sinking suspicion that the situation in Amber is about to get worse. I just hope that Jack will spare me the indignity of creating a scene at my recognition. Of course, I have to admit that a 'scene' might be a lot of fun.