What Really Happened Before the Ball

Though you read this to understand, know that this story never existed. It is, you see, a figment...a dream...a memory that lasted barely an hour...and was then expunged. For you see, this story exists only in my mind for a moment, and in a moment it will be gone...forever, and none shall know the tale. I do this with full knowledge, for I know it to be a right and just thing. I will carry out justice, and forget, and the disappearance of Vixen shall be a mystery for all of Amber, myself included.

There was once a family in Amber...a family within a larger family...unique nonetheless. Ahab was King of Amber...Kimdyl his Queen. They had three children total, though one did not even live to breathe air. Now only one child is left...Nicholas...and soon he will be King. It is for him and his family...and all of the larger family of Amber...that I did carry out sentence on Vixen. Ahab was destroyed in the battle 'twixt Serpent and Unicorn...his daughter Nimue died on the Pattern, as result of curses cast by Brand and Jack...Kimdyl was slain by Vixen, and her unborn child died with her.

Ignorant though she was, Vixen was an assassin by trade. A serpent may bite...such is its nature. One does not despise the serpent for its venom, but nor should one forgive it. I tremble when I think of Kimdyl's unborn child. I lost my own child during birth...I never even heard Thorn's cries...and he was gone. And so when I learned of Vixen's actions...so many years before I met her...there was already a cold, hard spot in my heart for her.

As punishment, she was required to stay in Amber...to serve...and to provide another child...which she did. I have seen her son Renard...seen how she has raised him. He cannot yet speak, and already she places a dagger in his hand. He cannot run as a boy, but is adept at running on all fours in fox-form. She has raised him to be anything but a prince of Amber...rather an inhuman thing to follow her own footsteps. I saw this and said nothing, but another part of my heart hardened against her for this. She took a child from Amber, and in return gave us an ill-tempered beast.

Two marks against her would not have warranted action, though vile are her deeds and deserving of punishment. Then I learned of her attempt against Leto and her unborn child. Vixen sleeps with Eric...she is his slattern, though he has a lawful wife named Leto, Countess of Duhr. In order to secure her own position and the legitimacy of Renard, she attempted to poison Leto...using a drug which is also esteemed as an abortant. Leto was not harmed...nor her child, but with that information I could not remain still. No more unborn children of Amber shall die at her hands.

Nicholas lost his mother to her...he did not try to prevent me from dealing with her...and in fact provided me with a cover...and with her trump card. And so I trumped Vixen...offering my aid in her quest to find the Faerie Wards. She distrusted me...cunning fox that she is...and trumped an ally to warn of my presence. Let her tell the world; it would change nothing.

I offered to enchant her sense of smell...to enable her to track the presence of Faerie Magic with her canine nose. I began with a spell to cloak my enchantments, and knowing no spell to track Faerie Magic, I instead petrified her. Another spell shrunk her stone form to that of a 4-inch high figurine, which I then coated with conjured porcelain. Where once stood Vixen...now only a small figurine of an Oriental woman. She smiles behind her fan, her gown is long and pale, and peeking out of under its hem...a fox's foot, the only hint of the truth. For the next half-hour I chanted...used my powers to cloak the figurine...to make it permanent. I created the box to hold the figurine, and inside a note which read, "My mission is complete, my liege. Watch carefully the magics, which may degrade with time." The writing on the package says 'Nicholas' in a hand which could be hers. I dropped the package into my bag, and began to craft the lie.

Renewing my cloaking enchantment, I created an illusion of Vixen...I cast the spell again, and she thanked me...and then struck me. My magic made the illusion semi-real...it hurt...my nose was broken, but I was not knocked unconscious. Lying there I hid the truth. Let the illusion be seen as the real memory, overlying the blanks space of what I have erased from my own mind. A phrase or two gone from my conversation with Nicholas, and it is done.

I delivered the package to Nicholas; my job is done. There will be no more little deaths. I could have killed her, I suppose, but to do so would have been wrong...would have been contrary to all that I am. I would not kill her for her crimes, but I could not let her go unpunished.

Nicholas sent me to aid her...I did. In repayment, she struck me and fled, no doubt intent on finding the Faerie Ward for herself. And now Eric's other son Ronin is missing; no doubt she perceived him as another threat to Renard's 'legitimacy'. When they ask me, I will tell the truth. I do now know what has become of Vixen; I did nothing to harm her....

You see, already I forget the truth...forget what I have done in the name of 'justice'. So lofty a claim; why do I bother? I did it because I could do nothing else, and because I still long to hear Thorn's cries. I could do nothing else.

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