From liamr@css.itd.umich.edu Mon Mar 14 22:27:36 1994 Date: Mon, 14 Mar 1994 22:26:09 -0500 (EST) From: Liam Hoekenga To: amber campaign Subject: Felix diary 36 Morning Foster's missing again. I must've searched the entire castle twice by now. I don't know what to do... What if that demon came back? What if THEY have him? Maybe da will know what to do? Da suggested the fourth floor. I knew it was there, but didn't think anything was up there. There wasn't... except for my boy. He's not very happy right now - can't say I blame him. He hasn't had very good luck. He thinks that his mum put Eris up to her little speech this morning. I don't think she'd do something like that to him... she might to something like that to Nate, but to her own son? Tried to tell him as much, but he didn't believe it. Asked him if he wanted to do anything with me and da - just us - no women involved. He seemed to like that. He went to wash up - he'd been playing handball - I think he was trying to work his frustrations out. At least he's learning... It's not good to pen up your frustrations - when you do, you get to the point where you'd take your shirt off in front of one of your aunts just for the sexual thrill... or worse yet... you might turn out like Ahab. Wish I could put his mind to rest - he's got no reason to worry about anything Eris said... not if he's my son. Went to talk to da about him - you know, Foster wants me to get rid of his mom? Henry VIII I am not. Da thinks that I should have Murine talk to mum - that'll be neat! Maybe he should suggest it to her... Mum left for the summer house this morning. Da thought he, Foster, and me could go sailing - sail to the house... He was planning on meeting up with Caine - it'll be good to see my uncle. Hope Foster doesn't mind another person. Saw someone sneaking into the showers when I went to look for Foster. Only one there when I went into the shower room was Foster. When I told him that, he decided he'd showered long enough. He didn't seem to mind when I told him about sailing with da and Caine. Hope he had a better time than he did the last time. I think his fear of his mother outweighs his fear of sailing. Gonna have to do something about that. He was curious when I mentioned Caine. Told him he was one of my favorite uncles and Gerards full brother. Foster looked thoughtful at that. Ariana came by. Seems she brought her shadow-dweller of a lover here. She wanted to know if Foster or Murine had any contact people in Chaos. Murine hadn't mentioned anyone; Foster said no. She's looking for dirt - Foster seemed to recognize Vetch's name, but wouldn't talk about it. She wants to make sure that her latest love hadn't gotten lost or something. Dropped Foster off with da. Then trumped Murine. Told her we had to talk. She says, "What, are you going to tell me, that I'm a bad mother?" Don't think I hid the look on me face very well. I tried to dodge the question and I only made her cry. It wasn't supposed to work this way... Da never makes mum cry. Left for the summer house shortly after. Murine was concerned about Foster staying with da. Told her not to worry. I feel safe when I'm with da - always have. I think that's part of being a good father. Your child should always feel safe when you're around. I wonder if I make Foster feel safe? Murine got a pained look on her face - like someone was trying to force a contact. Stopped that quick, I did! This was supposed to be our time. She looked thankful. At least I did something right. Couple of minutes later, Murine says something about "Incoming" and this winged creature swoops down and knoks her off her horse. Then she turns into something remarkably similar and they fight. They wouldn't stop when I told them to. Ahab and the baby appear, and he says "You grab yours and I'll grab mine." I think Alex was there but he seemed to be in a bit of snit and he left. Ariana picked the baby up. Asked them what this was about and waited expectantly. Ahab said that Murine had filled his room with pig shit. No one seems to be making very good decisions today. Murine really ripped Kimdyl apart. Hope she's okay. She, Ahab, Ariana, and the baby left after that. Murine remounted and said "Race you to the sea?" By the time I responded, she'd spurred her horse. We stopped at a creek about half-an-hour later. She washed up, and I told her that I'd prefer if she'd not fight around Foster. She started to frown. Told her that I knew that she was new to the parenting thing, and that maybe she should talk to me mum. She just said "Be sure and tell me if I do anything right. I need the re-enforcement." Then she cried. All I could do was watch. I feel like such a churl. After awhile, she stopped and said "Maybe I should leave... you obviously don't want me here." Tried to protest. I WILL NOT HAVE THIS END THIS WAY! Then she says "I might stay, just don't criticize." We rode the rest of the way in silence. Da just trumped me... Caine's not there. Hope he's ok... Foster seems to be having a good time, tho.