I've done a particularly stupid thing, this time.  I should have
listened to Caine.  I should have just promised not to do anything stupid,
as opposed to trying to weasel my way out of promising anything.  He
wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been in my best interest.  He's always
been there for me, and I shouldn't have treated his concern so lightly. 
Another lesson learned the hard way.

	I'm glad that I waited to talk to Ahab.  Tamaryn said that I'd
only be hurting myself by putting it off, but I think that he cooled down
slightly over the day - it also couldn't have hurt that I removed the
crossbow quarrels from his son, and helped save his brother's life.  He
didn't seem as angry when I spoke to him after dinner as he did when he
came to the infirmary this morning.  It's not like he hasn't done things
like this before.  He would have done as much for his mother.  I got off
lightly, I think, and I shall try not to cross him again.  I'm surprised
that he came after me himself - his actions have made it fairly clear that
I'm not that important.  He wouldn't have told me about Da... he hasn't
given me any duties.  Clear to me that he doesn't have use for me. 
Friendship, then?  This probably isn't the best time to ask him about it.

	Judging by the amount of smooth, pink skin on me, Tamaryn had her
work cut out for her.  I really thought that I'd be able to throw that keg
before they shot me.  It was a stupid move, I admit, but desperate people
get stupid.  I'm just as surprised that they were stupid enough to shoot
me.  That wasn't the only powder keg on the dock.  I can't imagine much
was left of the dock after the explosion.  I'm lucky Tamaryn was here to
help.  A lesser man would have been killed... I might have been killed, if
I hadn't been rescued and my wounds tended to - the family stamina helped
as well.  I don't think that one of those Shadow dwellers would have
survived if they had experienced things from my point of view.  I'm a
lucky man.  Stupid, but lucky.  I'm going to be sore for a very long
time... a day by the sea gone horribly awry.  (Note - thank Tamaryn

	Mum was at my bed when I woke up.  I don't know how long she'd
been there.  I think that she had been crying.  I'd almost done exactly
what I'd hoped to avoid - taking both men out of her life.  She knows
about Da.  How could anyone explain what happened to me without going into
the story about Da?  It's kind of connected.  She looked relieved to see
me wake up.  I am so stupid, how could I have done this to her?  She asked
me if I'd found anything out about Da.  I don't know.  I really don't know
what we found, other than an invasion fleet headed toward Amber.

	Was that man my father?  Every time I looked for Da, there was
that man...  I looked several times, and I always ended up right there
(all roads lead to Rome?).  The build is right, and he knew his way around
the shipyard.  I shouldn't be that surprised, it was a fairly large port
town, there are bound to competent sailors there...  But, I kept ending up
right there... at that man.  He stands differently than Da... and he
doesn't walk the same, either.  But, the build... the ships... and the
Pattern kept leading me to that point.  It makes a certain amount of sense
to me - steal Amber's finest captain, then pervert him and have him lead a
sea invasion on his home.  Dara was able to steal the form of his first
mate - maybe she placed another one upon him.  I've gotta talk to Merlin. 
Maybe he has more of an idea of what his mother is capable of.  I must
have looked at him for an hour before I approached.  He didn't know me. 
There was no glimmer of recognition... not that I had much of a chance to
scan his face before he threw me off of the pier.  He treated me as a
stranger, though he has enough in common with Da, that I can't help but
think it's him.  He had Da's strength of body, I wonder if he has his
strength of mind?  It may be our way in.  Hopefully she can only change,
not add or subtract.

	What has Dara done to you?

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