I won't be morose.  I can't say that I'm happy that I've missed
the past twelve years of my grandchildren's lives,  but it's the risk we
run.  I've had the discussion with Laughter and Foster before - Laughter
feels very strongly about the matter...she doesn't want her children to be
raised in a hostile environment - or rather one that is not hostile by her
choosing and design.  I guess I understand her reasoning.  I don't like
it, but I'd like to think I know why she did it.  I don't really know
Foster's take on the whole thing - I don't suppose he had a problem with
it...the fact that he lived the first sixty years of his life during a
month span of mine sets some precedence for it.

	At least we were able to spent some time with them in Bedlam, else
we'd not know them at all.  I knew it was coming.  The boys looked
surprised - Vivienne was downright pissed.  At least with Crispin and
Donal all I had to do was reassure them that they weren't going to get all
"big and hairy" overnight.  Frankly, I don't see what the problem with
being big and hairy is - I rather enjoy it, actually.  I think that what
they were really scared of was growing up so quickly - without warning.
Although Foster had told us that they were going to take the kids back
into Shadow, we hadn't thought to tell our boys.  They didn't seem to take
it too badly - I think that they're still young enough to be able to roll
with the punches, so to speak.  Vivienne, however...another story
completely.  I hated to see her so angry at breakfast after everyone
walked in.

	Thank god for Eris.  I meant to follow Viv after she stormed
out...I started to, in fact, but then I saw Eris at the table.  It was
clear to me what to do, and Eris gratefully consented.



	I am happy to see the children strong and grown, but I would have
liked to see them growing.


	It's strange to see them now - Haris is about the age I was when
Foster was born...which really isn't saying much (Laughter is older than
me, as well...I think about the only people who aren't are Foster's
brothers, my siblings, and my grandchildren...I don't understand why
everyone is rushing to get older).  Well, Haris is a fine, strapping man.
All of the children are fine - though I'm going to smack Isaac - quite a
mouth that boy has.  I think I could have dealt with it better had they
not come by so damned early.  He'll have his day.