Day 2164 RSTE, 756 BPTE: addendum

	At least I've rested.  The day itself has mostly passed, and just
now I've begun to move once more.  I had really rather assumed that we
would be on forced march by now.  Anyhow, I slept through my appointment
with Mother, having been the one participant in our earlier exchange who
had considered that it would be a more or less informal affair.  So she
starts off mad, then I give her little motive to improve her mood by
pouring cool water over my head.  Actually, I think she was more angry at
the extent of my cleavage than anything.  I always wondered why she bucked
the clothing conventions of Rebma.  Barnabas, Gant, and myself are
probably the only three people who have ever seen her breasts; I was too
young to garner an impression, and I really can't be certain that the
other two were ever in any condition to notice.  Anyway, she has more or
less forbidden me from entering Rebma until I've walked the Pattern or
otherwise ensured a continual safeguard against my exposure.  She said it
was to protect Lilith's reputation.  I'm really not sure what that meant. 
In terms of socio-sexual mores, my current state is sort of a Rebman wet
dream, if you'll pardon the phrase.  I'll explain that later, Ari.  So
that, of course, brings up the whole question of whether or not Lilith
should be allowed to gracefully back out of our arrangement, all due
respect to Mother's negotiations, for the simple reason that I could never
be a proper Rebman husband at this point anyway.  Mother merely asserted
that my outside connections would bring the girl more esteem.  I countered
that comfort should enter life somewhere, goalwise.  She just looks at me. 
I apologize and explain that I had once again spoken from an uninformed
position and regret the inconvenience to her more educated and astute
mind.  I was very careful to leave out 'experienced';  that can be a
really poor word to use around her sometimes.  So that's the state of mind
I'm in when I find the man that houses Martin's brain.  I'm afraid I
mocked him horribly, but on the plus side I agreed to seek out help for
him, which in this case I fear means Fiona.  I like her well enough, but
she always looks at me like a lab sample, and I know she can probably pick
up on my physical reaction to her, which I fear must amuse her terribly. 
At least she seems not to have noticed how much worse it is around her
daughter.  At least Laughter keeps me angry enough for me to ignore this. 
Yes, I've told you about this before.  Does she?  Never noticed.  Anyway,
I figure Fiona is just about the only one who can get us back to that
Shadow where Martin lost his mind.  Not that he'll thank me.  He thinks
I'm only helping him in return for the Rebman crown.  As if I didn't have
enough problems with lineage.  Anyway, he wasn't listening to me.  I just
don't want *him* to be King.  From the speed with which he agreed to his
misconceived notion of my statement, I'd say he agrees.  The next step is
to turn him into someone we want to have the throne.  Hopefully this will
be a growing experience.  All this, and I have yet to visit Barnabas or
Lyss.  This day is far too short for what I have to do with it.

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