Foil, year nine, day 240 continued

Evening

	Foster looks like someone just ran over his puppy.  The poor boy. 
No, man, not boy, he's older than you are, Ariana, even if he seems no
wiser.  And he got himself into this.  I guess Lavender finally told him
that she will not marry him.  He should have expected as much.  How could
he expect her to commit herself to him for life so soon after learning
that he's been lying to her for years?  I certainly didn't want to marry
Riftvan right after I learned who he was.  I had to spend some time with
him, knowing who he really was, before I could be certain that I loved
him, and not just the man he'd pretended to be.  In time, Lavender may do
the same.  Perhaps.  But if she doesn't, he has no one to blame but
himself.

	Lavender gets the silliest ideas in her head sometimes.  Why would
Riftvan hurt her if I died while trying to help her?  It wouldn't be her
fault, but the fault of whoever actually killed me.  I don't know why she
thought he'd blame her.  Foster was no help at all.  I know he's in pain,
and is just trying to spread it around, but I didn't need to hear that. 
What if he's right?

Dexter

	I don't like having to split up, but there really wasn't any other
option.  By the time Lavender goes to see the king of these lands, the
trail will be gone.  At least Foster seems so dazed that he doesn't mind
traveling with me.  On the other hand, he isn't paying close attention to
his surroundings, either, and he's the one who knows Faerie magic.  I hope
he's at least paying enough attention to spot an ambush.

Amber

Afternoon

	Another person to add to the list of those who want my head.  I
expected this to happen, but that doesn't make me any happier about it. 
At least we know Beauty is still alive, but the Faerie King won't say more
unless Lavender turns me over to him.  She should have Trumped me.  I
don't wish her to lose her family because of my action.  I understand why
he wants to kill me.  I'd doubtless feel the same, in his position.  The
sad part is, in the end, there was no reason for his daughter to die.  I
killed her to protect Lavender.  She attacked Lavender because we were
investigating the gate.  There was no quarrel between us.  If only they
had talked to us before attacking, maybe this could have been avoided. 
But this did not happen, and now it is too late.  Whether Lavender needs
the King's aid or no, I will have to return and face the consequences of
what I did.  But I cannot do so until Lavender finds her lost ones, and I
know what happened to Riftvan.  I do not want to die not knowing their
fate.

	The whole thing just doesn't make sense.  Why was the girl the
only one not protected by invisibility?  When you're trying to protect
someone, you don't protect yourself and make them a target.  It's almost
like they wanted her to be attacked.  Maybe Faeries do things differently. 
Or maybe the girl I killed wasn't her at all.  Maybe she was a glamour,
like the ones we found of Beauty and Caitt.  If only that were the case. 
But it doesn't seem very likely.  Surely the girl's father would have
noticed.  Or Lavender.

	The good news is that Ahab has his body back.  The bad news is
that he doesn't have the Jewel, and he doesn't seem to realize when he's
giving commands.  This makes me uneasy.  At least before it required some
concentration on his part, but now...  What if he does it in a critical
situation?  I thought he was still our opponent when he did it to me. 
What if I'd chosen a more lethal response?  Fortunately, the damage was
something I could heal.  To be honest, it barely took any effort at all. 
That was a nice change of pace.

	Lavender and Foster have returned with more bad news.  The trail
we were following leaves Dexter and does not continue into Faerie.  The
only way to follow it would seem to be via Logrus, but no Logrus users can
be found.  Riftvan could help, if only he were here.  With Ahab's body
recovered, his mission no longer exists.  Where are they?  I pray they're
still just looking for Ahab, and will return by this evening.  Perhaps by
then we will know more about the man we are fighting.

	Our opponent's name is Arthur, and he is one of Corwin's, as we
suspected.  Brand was right about him also being Moire's.  Much to my
relief, he hasn't encountered Riftvan or Martin recently, or caught anyone
infiltrating.  Of course, we have no way of knowing if they have run into
the real Arthur.  It would seem that he is the "Shadow" of Ahab that I
found in Kalevala.  Apparently, he walked the Pattern at eight, to the
detriment of his mental health.  What is it with that branch of the
family?  I wonder at what age Corwin walked the Pattern?  Or what Ahab
would be like if he'd waited longer?  I'm more grateful than ever for the
phobia that Riftvan gave our children about the Pattern.  At least I don't
have to worry about them walking it while too young.

	Much of our current situation would seem to be Moire's fault.  If
she hadn't been filling Arthur's head with all those stories about how
Corwin was the rightful king, maybe he wouldn't have become so obsessed
with it.  And, while I'm the first to admit that following Random solely
because a unicorn picked him out of a crowd is ridiculous, Corwin had the
job and turned it down.  It doesn't matter that he was the rightful king,
he decided that he didn't want to rule, and I respect that.  Maybe if
Moire had as well, we wouldn't be in this mess.  I hope there's something
we can do to convince Arthur to abandon this mad quest of his.  Perhaps if
he spoke with Corwin.  Ahab wants to kill him, but I don't want to do that
unless he's beyond help.  Of course, I'd probably feel differently if it
was my body that he'd stolen.  As if he'd want my morning sickness.

	Alex has turned up with the Jewel.  How convenient that he
happened to have it.  He claims that he doesn't know what it was being
used for, but I don't believe him.  And Foster thinks Riftvan is the
father of all lies?  Maybe Riftvan is better at it, but I'd say Alex has
him beat for frequency.  He lies all the time, and he's so obvious about
it.  Which still doesn't tell me what he did with it.  Well, in the end, I
suppose that's Random's problem, not mine.  I have enough problems of my
own to deal with.

Foil

Morning

	Lavender has recruited Jordan for transportation, and we will be
resuming our search for Caitt and Beauty momentarily.  Good.  I need
something to take my mind off of Riftvan.  There isn't much time left... 
It's ironic.  Amber is surrounded by armies, but I have not fought a
single battle.  I haven't accomplished much of anything, except for
killing that girl, which it turns out was a mistake anyway.  I can't seem
to do anything right, can I?  What does Riftvan see in me?  At this rate,
I should turn myself over to the girl's father now, before I do any more
damage.  At least it might help Lavender find Beauty and Caitt, which
would accomplish more than I've done lately.

	Oh gods, I hope Jordan gets us there soon.  Please let him get us
there soon.  I really don't want to throw up again.  Why did the only
means of transport have to be the Logrus?

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