From jlarke@us.itd.umich.eduMon Feb 6 19:18:38 1995 Date: Mon, 06 Feb 1995 19:10:08 -0500 From: Jason Larke To: thari@umich.edu Subject: Ahab's 62nd diary Well damn it all... it's finally working. Last time I went out on one of my little crusades to save Amber, Random and Benedict yanked my chain pretty good. I tried to back out on that scene, but in the end my conscience led me back into the fray. But now... I hear that Brand used a spell to put Fiona to sleep, and sure, I'm pissed, but not ready to kill yet. Fiona is, after all, my favorite aunt. It's a Bad Thing to do stuff to her, and given the chance I might encourage Brand to reconsider, and probably break his nose. But it's not worth killing anyone over. Killing people should at least be reserved for serious stuff. Dad's tale has me a little worried- I'm not at all clear on what the consequences might be if Brand's pattern became the primary pattern. I don't necessarily care, either. Amber's pattern hasn't done me any favors. I still associate it with Dworkin, its creator and recent victim. And Dad's isn't qualified for the role. So what the hell, let Brand win. Maybe it will quiet him down. Now, if we're talking about a realignment that will destroy all of Amber just to Brand on top, I may decide that we need to have a little bit of a confrontation, and maybe rally a posse to keep the uppity little fellow in his place. (Yes, this would be highly dangerous. What else is new?) But you can bet your ass I won't do the 'King' any favors. Time to earn you keep, Random. I still don't intend to let anyone push me around. I still don't mind risking my life for the Cause of the day. But if I'm going to die on my kid and leave Kimbdyl to cope with him, I want to have a better reason that "because somebody has to take care of the shit that Random can't handle." What I'd like to do is take the time to do things right. I'd like to see Nick grow up with a proper family. I'd like to have the leisure to work with my hands for real, to put the polish of experience on some of the things Samson and Miranda taught me. I'd like to expand Alexi's influence and spend more time with Cosgrove and Arken while Kimbdyl corrupts Trinity a little more. I want to watch Foster vs. Trinity in the back of the bad (I'm betting on Trinity, myself). All of that sounds like way more fun than talking to Brand. So sure, I'll help Fiona out of a jam, but after that, I'm on vacation.