Message: 36174017, 76 lines Posted: 10:49am EDT, Mon Jun 13/94, imported: 10:50am EDT, Mon Jun 13/94 Subject: Ahab's diary 48 To: Kris Fazzari, thari@umich.edu From: jlarke@us.itd.umich.edu (Written at the beginning of the interlude) It was Vetch. Why am I not surprised? That lying, cheating, morally reprehensible piece of overaged meat evidently borrowed Nicholas, shape-shifted him, and put him back before we were able to track him down. For which act I am going to kill him. Not today, not tomorrow, but sometime, when he's busy and has forgotten all about little Prince Ahab. Some day that thrice-damned fairy is going to turn around and find Morglyph in his throat. Then I'm going to sell his fucking body to the Hendrakes as a desert course. Laughing all the way, hah hah hah. And if anyone tries to save him- and that includes Ariana, who is evidently more interested in what he's penetrating than what he's perpetrated- they can be killed too. I have all the time in the world. He'll be there when I'm ready. And I'll be there when he's not. Meanwhile, Kimbdyl hopefully hasn't been permanently hurt by all this. It's pretty upsetting to be put to sleep and your child stolen while you are unable to do a damn thing about it. It obviously scares her. That doesn't do much to increase my happiness much, either; although I don't expect to have to do it much, protecting the wife in time of danger is part of the whole husband shtick, and I was caught lookin'. So my short-term plan is pretty obvious. I have to spend a lot of time with her, making sure that nothing changes for the worse between us. I have to make this marriage thing get moving, so that we can have what happiness circumstance allows. And we have to train, so that we have as much of a chance as possible when the chips are down. I also have to make sure to not impregnate her again. She's made it clear that she doesn't appreciate it. I also have to figure out how this whole dad thing works. Nicholas is still at the stage where he requires only marginally more care than a similarily-sized ball of dough, so he hasn't required us to make any really difficult decisions. And judging from Lyss, I have the potential to be a pretty good father. She's a good kid, anyway, if a bit young for her age. Foster... there's a kid who is *not* young for his age. I'm afraid Nicholas might end up like that if I keep thinking this way. I *do not* want to raise my kid as a tailor-made revenge device, or a neurotic always wondering if Dad's insane fury will be dropped on his head next. I'm honestly not a violent man by nature. But when you were hit every time you did something truly wrong as a kid, and *only* when you did something truly wrong, you pick up some unfortunate ideas of how the world works. If it was up to me, I'd want to spend time with Kimbdyl, keep in shape, learn a few more skills, induldge my creative side if I have one. Learn about the Pattern, of course. Learning how to kill better and faster would *not* be tops on my list. But every time things seem to be going really well, some idjit with a goal decides that they want a chunk of what we have. Why can't people leave well enough alone? Is it so foreign to people to mind their own damn business? That's why I can love Fiona even though she doesn't tell me anything. She's at least never invaded my life and taken from it. She may have her evil side, but she's civilized. Whereas Vetch.... He may be a swell fellow, with only the best intentions. Doesn't matter. He should never have made the woman I love cry. It no longer matters how I feel about violence. Hi there, Vetch. Welcome to your new career as an object lesson.