The guard shows her in. Nicholas stands as she enters.
"Hello, Whimsy."
"I received your note," she replies. "I trust there have been no more disasters," she adds with a wry grin.
"No, not yet," he says with a smile. "Please, make yourself comfortable," he says, motioning to a chair.
She sits and begins to say something, and then reconsiders with a chuckle.
Nicholas raises and eyebrow as he sits down himself.
"No," she says. "You should go first, Emperor. I have much to tell you, but nothing that requires immediate attention or concern. What did you want to talk about?" she asks.
Seeing no tea nearby, she conjures a steaming teapot, two cups and saucers, and pulls teabags out of her purse.
Nicholas sighs and looks thoughtful for a moment. "I wanted to make sure everything is all right with you, Whimsy."
Whimsy arches an eyebrow and gives him a grin, masking her alarm at his tone. "All right, Nicholas?" she asks. "I am doing quite well, actually. I would guess from your tone, however, that you have been given reason to believe otherwise. What concerns you, my emperor?"
He looks thoughtful. "It's just that your behavior has seemed a little erratic of late. I'm wondering what the cause is, and if there is anything I can do to help?"
Whimsy closes her eyes briefly, and takes a breath. "Erratic?" she asks. "I am afraid that I was unaware that my behavior was...erratic. Perhaps you could explain."
She smiles tightly. "I could think of a number of words to describe my mood of late, but 'erratic' is not one I would see as very accurate."
"All right. I'll be honest and blunt, if you don't mind?"
Whimsy nods.
"After all the time you and Ishmael have spent together, after all the two of you have been through together, I can't figure out what the hell is up with the two of you. Why the need to be so fucking evil? Yes, Ishmael was Ishmael and told me something he shouldn't have, but there was absolutely *no* malice behind it and he knew he'd fucked up. Why did you have to scare the hell out of his wife, a complete innocent?"
"Ahhh," she says. "So the issue is that my response was so unpleasant, not that it was erratic. Erratic would imply an action out of character. Cruelty has never been out of character for me, Nicholas, as you well know."
"But that's not the question."
"You're not going to like my reasons, but I'll be blunt as well. I did what I did, because Ishmael needs to learn a lesson about not mucking in other people's affairs. Too many times now, he has stuck his nose in where it didn't belong and hurt people by doing it. I wanted him to know what that feels like from the other side, so that he'd tread a little more carefully. We're all family here; it's terribly easy to hurt each other. Our happiness is a fragile thing. He needs to learn that."
"There's a lot more to this than you know, Nicholas."
"But Whimsy, what he told me was an accident. He didn't plan it. You did. That's a big difference in my mind."
"Nicholas," she says sharply. "This isn't about what he told you about me. In all truth, I was already well over that before I spoke with Maddy. I had my flare of temper in your office, and that was it. At the same time, however, it reminded me of an incident some years back, when he decided that it was not appropriate for Ariana to go to war against Chaos. When his attempts to persuade her failed, he instead went to her children, and told them that they should talk their mother out of going to war, as she would probably be killed if she went to Chaos."
"She responded with silence, refusing to speak to him for weeks. Some punishment that," she replies with a slight rolling of her eyes.
"I wasn't angry at him for his comment for too long. I would have preferred to tell you in my own time, but it was done, and necessarily so. If anything, his slip prodded me to take the more honorable course. But it did firm my resolve that dear Ishmael needed a lesson. As they say in the Rose Kingdoms, 'people who live in glass houses should not throw stones'."
Nicholas nods. "Is it over then? I watched you two grow up. It pains me to see you so at odds with each other."
She laughs. "Oh Nicholas, you just don't get it. I thought you of all people would. I care for him; I always will. Why do you think I did this!?"
"He hurt Ariana, and so she snubbed him. He hurt me, and normally that would have garnered little more than a few dirty looks exchanged across the dinner table. But where does that end? Do I just let him go on, indifferently causing trouble until he angers some one who won't hold back, some one who won't hesitate to kill his pretty little wife and burn his home to ashes?"
Whimsy's eyes begin to tear a bit.
"Two weeks ago I journeyed to Faerie to help rescue his wife. I went fully understanding that they might not return her. I went with the knowledge that they would expect something in return, and I went prepared to give myself in exchange."
She continues quickly.
"I am not *that* necessary here...I could make a place for myself in Faerie if worse came to worst. I'd still have Jack and Alexandra and Ariana...for what it's worth. And I was willing to make the necessary sacrifice to save his happiness...because he actually does love that woman...and I can remember a little of that from so long ago. He deserves a chance at happiness."
"You don't understand how I think; not even mother does, really," Whimsy says, shaking her head and making a wry grin. "As much as I am willing to do something profoundly good to help him, so am I willing to be cruel if it is necessary to ensure his survival and happiness. And he *must* learn this lesson, to be careful of where he interferes. Felix slighted Irene, and we both know what came of that. I wouldn't see that happen to someone else I love."
And here she looks at Nicholas, and probably for the first time in a long time he sees what she looks like when she isn't trying to look like anything...sees the kind of sadness that hasn't crossed her features since she was a teenager in the Courts.
Nicholas has been watching her very carefully throughout this. "That is fine and good Whimsy, but sometimes the best lessons are learned through your own, honest mistakes. I understand your motivations Whimsy. I really do. But in the end it's my job to keep you all safe. You needn't burden yourself so. We're in Amber now. We're not running for our lives. The consequences of a mistake are now far less, Irene aside, as that had more to do with Brand's meddling than anything Felix did. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can't stop the bad things from happening. If you try too hard, you and Ariana will have plenty of opportunities to commiserate. We're survivors, Whimsy. Never forget that."
She laughs, and there is something grim to it. It's almost as if her normal expression slides back into place.
"I cannot argue with you on that point, Nicholas," she says. "We persist in spite of it all."
She stops and gives him a dirty look. "Although comparing me to Ariana will not win you any points, nor force me to behave contrarywise." She smiles slightly.
He smiles as well. "Just sharing my own personal fears, that's all. Will you leave Ishmael to me, from now on? I will request the same of him, in regards to you."
"That would be ideal," she replies. "I will, however, apologize to Maddy...in Ariana's company...so that there may be witness that I am attempting nothing untoward."
"That should work nicely."
She pauses and sighs.
"I have some good news for you, by the way. You need not fear much in terms of scandal from my past actions. I have contacted the head of House Jesby and we have determined what must be done in order for me to make reparations to their house. You should be received a letter from Lady Claire shortly, detailing our agreement."
He looks quite surprised and relieved. "Really?"