An Evening Stroll with Shard...
Unlike Whimsy's other journals, this one is done in third-person present, as it was originally done over e-mail.
For a number of reasons, Whimsy returns to the scene of her confrontation with Ariana. The forcewall is gone, but the oil remains. Concentrating for a moment, Whimsy causes the oil to vanish. "What I do, I can always undo," she mutters to herself quietly. She leans out against the parapets, staring at the moon, which seems to her unually large in her current state. "What do I need? I need cool men like you out of my life, Jack."
Just then her ring says 'shit' in the back of her mind, and she turns to see a figure in the shadows. Just as she is ready to unlease hellfire upon him, she recognizes Shard and gives him a wry grin.
He inclines his head. "You're item is a bit overly cautious. I wish you no harm."
"That's its job, really, to be overly cautious," she says quietly. "And given your nature, I probably should be careful." Whimsy pulls the shawl a little tighter about her shoulders, as she's cold. Her pupils are still a touch dilated, but she seems fairly calm.
"I wanted to thank you for interfering earlier. I was not in my right mind, and I am glad that I did not burn Ariana...but I'm afraid I would have, had you not stepped in. I like her, and would not do her harm."
"I'm happy to hear that."
"I have heard little of you since I arrived in Amber, Shard," Whimsy begins. "Did you inherit this 'distance' from your father or is the new generation of Amber not to your pleasing?" She seems to be teasing just a bit.
"I quit trivial emotions a few centuries ago." He begins to imitate her teasing tone.
"Quit them?" she inquires. "Oh, how marvelous. How refreshing to simply 'quit' such trivialities...to set aside jealousies, annoyances, and pettiness as if they were garments that one had grown tired of wearing." She chuckles. "And wear instead, perhaps, a cool veil of indifference...? But no, you are no more your father than I am my mother. We have our own unique roles to play, to be sure."
"There seems to be more to this than I know. It surprises me that you'd risk so much for Ariana...venturing into the light and into the path of an infuriated sorceress. I was not aware that the two of you were close." Because of his higher psyche, Shard can probably recognize that she's jealous, though she tries very hard to hide it. Not infatuated with him or anything, just jealous of how others seem to care for Ariana so deeply that they'd risk so much for her.
"Ariana and I were very close for a time, yes. Her loss still lingers, but it will eventually fade."
"Another of those 'trivial emotions', perhaps?" Whimsy askes pointedly.
"Some are easier to quit than others."
"Well, I hope for your sake that love and affection prove difficult for you to 'quit'," she says calmly. "What else makes us human, after all?" Whimsy considers this for a moment, in regard to herself.
His eyes narrowed fractionally at the word 'human'.
"I should apologize to her, but there is a tension between us at the moment," Whimsy continues, as she turns back to face Shard once again. "I do not wish her to go to Chaos with Nicholas. I feel she has too much here to risk it all on vengeance."
"It is ultimately her decision."
"And it is a decision which will have much impact," Whimsy replies. "Unlike Ishmael, I will make no attempts to blackmail her into doing what I feel is right. I just hope that she doesn't later have cause to regret whatever choice she makes."
She looks out across the landscape and moves towards Shard. "Come, let us walk a bit," she says quietly, and offers him her arm.
He raises an eyebrow. "You would walk with me?"
"And this surprises you, Shard?" Whimsy returns, her arm proffered.
"A bit, yes," he says as he takes her arm. "Most people would rather avoid me."
The two begin to walk.
"I fear I could say the same," she chuckles. "Will you be going to Chaos with the rest of them?"
"No. I don't travel particularly well."
She smiles at that. "Then what of your future? Will you stay on here at the Castle when Nicholas assumes the throne?"
"I will, I think. Maybe not in the same role, but I will stay in Amber. He and I have discussed it."
"I am glad to hear it," she replies. "He is one of the few people here whom I really know, and yet I was unsure of what stance he would take toward you. I am curious, though, why do you choose to stay? What hold you here?" There is something to her tone that almost implies she is asking herself the same question.
"Amber is home. Though I can barely remember it now, I grew up in those woods."
"I have never yet been to Arden...," Whimsy responds quietly, "...though in Chaos there were many forests that mother claimed reminded her of it. I remember spending a lot of time in those forests...with Caine...or with Jack, learning the magic of the faeries. Some night you must take me to Arden...show me those parts of it that you remember still."
"I'm afraid I'm not exactly welcome there anymore."
"And you'd let that inhibit you?" she asks teasingly. "Shard, how can you go anywhere or do anything if you have to wait for invitations?"
"That's a limitation I must live with, I'm afraid."
"So to speak," she says, with a slight smirk.
He smiles, his expression warming a bit.
"Well...if you ever decide that you would be willing to defy your father's wishes in this matter, I would be more than happy to have you show me Arden by night."
"What my father doesn't know about me won't hurt him."
"Much the same attitude I take towards my mother, save that Fiona's reach is irritatingly long," she chuckles. "Ah well...you can't choose your family."
"Do you miss the daytime?" she asks quietly.
"The sun rises and sets yes. I have often heard that what kills most vampires is boredom. But I was immortal to begin with, so it's all a bit of an experiment for me."
"Then Amber must be your curative, for certainly it is seldom boring here," Whimsy replies. "I have half a mind to build an indoor garden...perhaps gut one of the south towers and fill it with greenery." She smiles suddenly...mischievously...and with a gesture a tendril of green sprouts from the cuff of said hand, growing and wrapping about her hand. In a moment, a small vine is intertwined with her fingers, and flowers bloom there, giving off a faint scent...of dahlias. "It would be nice to create some place that reminds of the more pleasant years of my youth."
"You had pleasant years in Chaos?"
"One hundred years in Chaos...with occasional moments of peace," she responds, her voice taking on a hard edge. "Surely adding those fleeting moments would amount to a year or two...I hope I can say I had at least that much. Any less and I'd hardly be sane, would I...." she says in a tone that allows for no answer.
"Even in the pits of hell, there were good times.... Life is...or should I say...existence is...what you make of it...for better or worse."
"You have already learned the hardest lesson then."
"Oh, I don't know about that, Shard," she says slowly. "I've found that there are a few lessons that are much harder to learn." Sensitive as he is, Shard notices a brief flare of pure anguish from her, which she immediately smothers. Outwardly, she shows nothing...not even so much as the beginning of a tear.
Abruptly she changes the topic. "The drug is finally wearing off...and I'm finally feeling tired. No insult intended to you, Shard, but I've been up for close to 24 hours now. I think I shall turn in."
"No insult taken," he says as he steps back and gives her a handsome bow.
Whimsy pauses a moment. "Shard, will you be attending the coronation?"
"I will, yes."
Whimsy pauses, and smiles a moment. "Shard...will you do me the honor of being my escort for the coronation?"
He looks momentarily surprised. "It would be my honor," he says with another bow.
Whimsy's eyes only barely fail to conceal her merriment at his shock. "Do be at my quarters 15 minutes prior to the reception, that we may walk down together. I look forward to speaking with you again," she says, a slight smile playing about her lips.
"As you wish, my lady," is his only response.
And then she turns and heads to her room.