"So. Tamaryn's your kid?"
Ariana starts to nods tiredly, then catches herself with a start.
"What led you to that conclusion?"
He chuckles, "All those Mother-Hen looks you were giving to Felix
when that Irene-chick was around. You looked like you were ready to go
bitch-cakes if she so much as sneezed on Tamaryn..."
She laughs a bit ruefully. "I had no idea that I was so obvious.
I'm not normally so overprotective, and Tamaryn can certainly take care of
herself, but I don't like what I sensed from Irene. And I don't want
Tamaryn being hurt by some mistake Felix made in his past."
He laughs at her, then affects a mock serious tone, "You? Oh
nooooo. You're never overprotective."
She makes a face. "Why do I think I'm being mocked?"
"Because you're smarter than you look?" He rolls away from the
anticipated punch for that one, laughing.
She kicks out at him, actually, but without a whole lot of energy.
"I don't recall being told that insults were part of the training
package." She grins.
He leans towards her, "And so today's lesson *is*?" He raises his
eyebrow expectantly, but then doesn't leave her time to answer. "Ask more
questions," he pops with a cheesy grin.
She rolls her eyes. "You go right ahead. I'm too tired to move."
"And let me just tell you, that beats the hell out of 'too bruised
to move.'" He starts to lay back on the ground, but then sort of freezes.
"What the hell?" His tone is absolutely serious. He bounds to his feet.
"Shit! The tree!"
Ariana leaps to her feet, and looks frantically in the direction
of the tree.
"Heh heh heh. Psyche." He sits back down.
"Ooooh...." She conjures a snowball and throws it at him.
He catches it and tosses it back at her. "Knock, knock." He has
a big ole cheese-eatin' grin on his face.
She ducks it and puts her hands behind her back. "Who's there?"
"Heh heh heh. Banana." He looks like he's on the verge of
bursting into a full-out, roll around on the ground type laugh.
She groans. "Banana who?"
He has tears in his eyes from trying not to laugh. He barely gets
out, "Knock, knock," again.
She's wearing an 'I don't know why I'm doing this' expression.
He's laughing like an all out maniac, but she can pretty much make
out "banana" between his gasps for air.
She raises an eyebrow. "Banana again?"
He's lost it. He's laughing so hard he can't even deliver the
inevitable "Knock, knock." Watching him, she can see that this is
honestly funny to him.
This seems to amuse her, and she answers, "Who's there?" to his
Gripping his sides, he mouths, 'Knock, knock,' pantomiming a knock
with his fist...
He stifles his laughter, tears still streaming down his face.
"OoooOOoOOh. Who's there?" He sounds excited.
She looks puzzled. "Um, banana."
He sighs, disappointed. "So much for that. If I recall
correctly," he sits back up and wipes the tears from his eyes, "this
conversation started with Tamaryn..."
"Yes, it did." She tosses him the object she'd been holding
behind her back, which is a water balloon.
He pegs it mid-air with a dagger, splattering them both with
water. He catches it before it has time to hit the ground. He smiles at
her. "Nice try." He closes some of the distance between them. "So
what's she doing marrying Felix? I mean, it's obvious that he's shtupped
her more than once, but he doesn't seem real interested in the whole
marriage schtick. I mean, really. If he's been getting the milk free for
years, why buy the cow now?"
She winces. "Felix has problems making a real commitment. That
was the source of the whole mess with Irene, too. He's afraid to get
married because we live forever, basically. Which is a stupid reason, in
my opinion. I mean, what does it say to the person who loves you?" She
shakes her head. "I suspect what finally lit a fire under Felix was the
prospect of possibly being married off to someone else. Both Ronan and
Alex have recently been betrothed as part of an arranged marriage. Felix
was probably afraid he'd be next."
"Irene?" he seems a bit confused for a minute. "Oh! The hot
little number circling Tamaryn at the last shindig -- hmmm. I guess that
wasn't technically a 'shindig' since it *was* my mom's funeral." He
shrugs. "Whatever it was, it sure as hell made for scant pickings..."
He continues, "So what's Tamaryn's spin on all of this. I mean,
if Felix has little Miss Blondilocks flitting around, Tamaryn's gotta
notice that sort of shit. She still wants to marry him? I mean, if it's
just the whole we-have-spuds-and-should-probably-get-married thing, it's
no good. It won't last five years, much less all of forever."
"Irene is irrelevant. Felix hasn't been interested in her in
years. Tamaryn doesn't want to marry him because they have children. She
loves him. I think..." She hesitates. "I think Felix reminds her of her
He shakes his head, "There's bad mojo in that."
"That's what worries me. But they've been together for six years.
I think if that's all that attracted her to him, she'd realize it by now."
He shrugs. "I dunno. I didn't exactly grow up with a lot of role
models for that sort of shit. In fact, Whims is the only one I know who
was married while I was growin' up -- and given that she whacked her man
and fed him to his family, I don't think she quite qualifies as a 'role
model' in the traditional sense." He pauses a bit. "Six years, huh? It
doesn't seem like a whole helluva lot in the grand scheme of things, does
"I don't suppose so. Which may be why Felix is so reluctant to
commit himself to a long-term relationship. I married Lucien after only
knowing him for three years, though."
He clears his throat and repositions himself, but doesn't say
She sighs. "Go ahead, say it. It's not like I haven't heard it
"Quit throwing up the nails for your own crucifixion." He stands
up and dusts himself off. "I'm fucking starving. You wanna go get
something to eat?"
"Sure, why not?" She gets to her feet with a groan. "Gods, I'm
sore in places I didn't even know existed."
With a grin, she sees a look cross Ishmael's eyes that hints that
what just passed through his mind would probably be unacceptable in polite
company. "Mmmmm. Smells like womprat-on-a-stick again..." He starts to
put his shirt back on. "Not that I think anyone in Benedict's troops
should spend less time training, but maybe next time one of Michael's guys
could come along..."
She smiles a bit at his grin, then nods in agreement. "It would
be nice. Of course, one can always conjure something to eat, but it's not
quite the same." She stretches gingerly. "Why are you so curious about
He looks at her. "I spent 100 years in Chaos with Whimsy and now I'm
stuck here baby-sitting a tree with you and Fiona for five years. Do you REALLY have to ask?"
"Ah, I see. When you put it that way, it does seem obvious. You
want to sleep with her."
He stops and bows low before her. "My lady, I am deeply offended
that you would think my intentions towards your daughter to be so
dishonorable. I assure you, my intents towards Tamaryn are pure. I just
hate to see so beautiful a creature laid low in such a manner."
He stands tall and clears his throat. "Though I must confess, I'm
starting to wish that the Ygg mach III would develop a sizable
She chuckles. "First, I would find nothing objectionable if you
did want to sleep with my daughter, so long as you didn't hurt her. And
second, I confess I sometimes wish Ygg would hit a sudden growth spurt, so
we could go home."
He 'adjusts' himself. "Hey. I'm not making any promises." He's
grinning like a schoolboy. "And as for the tree, I can relate. I'm gonna
have a helluva handshake by the time we get back."
She snickers. "You men have much easier time of it, you know."
He shakes his head. "Nah. That's not it." He gets that silly-ass
grin again. "You women just can't do anything by yourselves..."
She throws another conjured snowball at him. "That's what you all
like to believe."
He closes his eyes and lets this one hit him. "You women are just
so easy." He pauses. "Which is, incidentally, something else we all like
"So I've noticed. Although if that were true, you wouldn't be
looking for knotholes, now would you?" She grins a shit-eating grin of
"Oooooh. I love it when you talk dirty, Ariana. You do realize
that I'm getting off on this, right?" Then before she has a chance to
react, "*Knock, knock*"
She raises an eyebrow and smirks. "Who's there?"
He leans across the table and drops his voice low. "Avocado go," and with a quick peck on the cheek, "Catch ya later, sweetheart!" Then he bolts off towards his tent.
She groans, then heads off towards her own place to change, tossing over her shoulder, "If you ask me, *that's* what you get off on!"
Ariana's Page |
All text on this page is © 1998 by Kris Fazzari and Lisamarie Babik.
Last modified on February 24, 1998 by Kris Fazzari.