I have this note, see, and it says I am to go see Gabriel about
the cloaks that have been attacking people in the castle. Did I not just
have the conversation where I said I was only fifteen and an irresponsible
fifteen at that? And didn't we just have yet another incident with the
Great and All-powerful Farasa to prove that it was all true? I can't even
keep my mind separate from Farad's for more than a few days. How can
anyone ever think they might want to trust me?
I hate Farasa. I feel powerful and strong when Farad is with me,
but I don't feel good about it. Together we do things I wouldn't do. Not
just jumping off the ramparts of Tir-na Nog'th, but trying to kill people.
Throwing lightning bolts at Colin and Lilith. Trying to drown Gabriel.
Sending Shadow wolves after guards. That sort of thing.
I'm not like that, am I?
But here Gabriel is, still trying to be nice to me. Why is that?
His daughter can't be that desperate for playmates. And here is Lilith,
who obviously felt bad that the Farasa thing happened again, because she
let me hit her. Why is that? And Colin and Alastair went to all that
trouble to take Farad out of my body, maybe because Farasa is too
dangerous... but maybe because they think I'm worth saving?
I don't know. I don't understand how it all fits together. I'd
like to be liked and trusted, but I don't even know if I like and trust
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