I really would try to grow up, if I knew how.  Everyone seems to
think it's the best idea, but no one has offered any practical advice
whatsoever on how to do it.  I could start asking people... not that
anyone else seems to act any more grown-up than me.  Do I challenge people
to duels at funerals?  Do I get myself stuck on the Pattern?  No, I just
open a box that has a pretty serpent sigil on it, and end up getting Colin
and myself hurt.  I don't know.  This seems only mid-level stupid, when
compared to something like attacking the Regent.  Which I have not done,
nor will I, and I'm probably the only person alive who wouldn't, even if
there were a good reason.

	So, what makes Bonaparte grown-up and not me?  He has a pet cloak,
and fried Farad's body and challenged everyone in earshot to a duel at one
point or another, and now that he's under suspicion for attacking the
Regent, he doesn't sit tight and try not to get into further doo-doo.  And
all of that makes him mature and me immature?  I don't think so.

	The only people who have anything on me, maturity-wise, are
Lilith, because she's responsible and thinks things out (except maybe that
whole stealing the Jewel in the first place, but it worked out for the
best); Colin, because he shares a brain with Lilith; Duncan, 'cause he's a
cool guy; and Gabriel.  Gabriel is a dad, too.  Weird.  His daughter is
even my age, which is also weird, because, gee, I thought he was cute
once, but now it turns out his daughter could be my sister, and that's
just gross.  And maybe Alastair is a little more grown up, but only
sometimes.  But not Bonaparte, and not Paris, who got stuck shapeshifting
for years, and that's not a sign of a mature mind, not really.

	Yeah, and anyways, Suhuy still likes me, and Gerard does too, and
probably even Lilith, so it doesn't matter what Bonaparte says, because
he's dumber than dirt, thinking that he's going to kill anyone important.

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