Session 37: "I would have brought him back alive."

Brought to you by special guest commentator, Aleksandr.

	Julian's hawks attack Laughter, Sky, and a couple of her demons. 
Sky has some problems defeating them.  She feels woozy, and Laughter
passes out.  Sky acts protective.  The demons pass out, but the cats
sustain.  Sky kills the last one, then passes out.

	Archimedes is hunting Brenner.  He goes a gatherin' for
information, and builds an army.  Volunteers - ah, right.  Archimedes
makes life in the army tax-exempt.  Recruitment will be a long term
project, seeing as how Archimedes wants to be King for a while.  He gets
woken at 10 a.m. by a definitely male secretary, who informs Archi about
Brenner being there to see him.  Brenner formally challenges Archi to a
dual.  Something about someone's sister's honor.  A white glove comes off. 
Brenner admits to a death wish.  In the middle of deep meaningful
testosteroneness, Archi gets Trumped.  Someone has a death wish - other
than Brenner, of course.  Goes like this: Trumped.  Slapped.  Guards come
in.  Trump fades.  "Throw bastard in dungeon."  Ulysses disagrees to this
being duel protocol.  Brenner, nonetheless, gets tossed.  FOOM!

	Archi Trumps Laughter.  No dice.  But Laughter is in Arden.  Archi
goes to the stables, and gets a visual contact of Laughter.  He decides to
move his butt.  Hey!  He has a Trump of Arden!  Bonus!!!  Zingo, he's
there.  He uses the ring to Trump to find Laughter and Sky.  The big L
looks sick.  Archi Trumps Gerard, and everyone goes through.  Field trip. 
(Demon guard is left behind.  Ah?) Something about Sky having bad breath -
SOMEONE has bad stuff, and it ain't me.  Gerard says they've been
poisoned.  Unhappy day.  Someone makes the quick deduction that the BIRDS
may have been poisoned.  Woah.  What a concept.  The hawks get analyzed. 
Julian's hawks, equipped with venom.  Archi knows poisons, so don't eat
around him.  Natural rattlesnake poison.  He makes anti-venom.  Takes 1/2
hour.  Sky responds to anti-venom well, but Laughter does not wake up.

	Sky describes what happened.  Hmm.  Gerard thinks Laughter is
stable, but something is wrong, because Laughter has shapeshifting, and
she's not healing.  Ugh.  Archi puts on the Jewel.

	Ulysses finds that Benedict has set himself up as king.  Ulysses
walks right in, or tries to, but the guards decide to intervene.  He
figures Benedict will know who he is, but the guards say otherwise. 
Benedict has never heard of him.  Weenie-boy tries to get by the guards,
but he can't psyche them.  He tries to Trump around the guards, to get to
Benedict.  He figures, "Well, I'm invulnerable...."  He Trumps to
Benedict, who puts a dagger in him.  Ouch, that actually hurt!  But it
heals.  He talks to the B-man.  Benedict doesn't remember Amber.  Ulysses
doesn't do a hot job talking to Benedict, and the MAN is not amused. 
Ulysses tries to convince Benedict to go with him to Amber.  Benedict has
driven back others to borders.  Let's be more vague, yes?  Ulysses really
pushes his luck, with good stuff to guide him.  Something about demons,
being described as generally many and bad.  I feel the need to give ol'
Weenie a shovel, as he's diggin' himself in deep.  Hand gestures occur. 
Ulysses is condescending to Benedict.  Ulysses talks about wars, and
defending Amber, and stuff.  Benedict has dreams.  Hmm.  The big, bad
Finndo comes up in conversation.  ULYSSES GETS A CLUE.  Woah, give the boy
a cigar.  Benedict grabs Ulysses by the throat, and holds him against the
wall.  The Trump Manacle is bad for him, and he chokes.  He loses
consciousness.  CLIFFHANGER.

	Sandr (me) gets a turn.  I'm pretty froody on this.  I sleep
through my appointment with my psychiatrist, due to some good Valium.  I
wake, wash, eat, paint Trump, and get ready for my party.  I suddenly
realize that I'm taking the game log, and suddenly don't have bad stuff. 
Bonus.  But depressingly short.

	My sister is working on some project.  Being evil, AGAIN.  Duh. 
She's being a Trump maven.  Overhears Trumps calls about dead bodies in
Arden.  Someone Trumped Archi from the Golden Circle that didn't get
through.  Then Archi Trumps Laughter.  Archi Trumps Gerard.  ROLE CALL. 
*sigh* Castle servants Trump castle servants.  Melanie has a cool day
spying.  She tells me she's working on nefarious projects.  One real
interesting Trump contact is monitored, which goes as follows: "He's left
the universe, I'll wait at YGG."  "Damn, I can't do it alone."  "Just make
sure no one helps Brand and you'll be OK, that means Sandr, or maybe
Melanie."  WAIT A SEC!!!  Melanie works until noon, and EATS lunch!!!  The
world ends.  Melanie also senses a contact from the Golden Circle to the
dungeons, and someone goes through.  The source of her project also drops
off for an hour.

	Sky feels better.  Archi Trumps Fiona and brings her through.  He
tells her about the hawk attack, and gives her his biological data.  She
brings Mandor through and Archi fills him in again.  Mandor says the
poison prevents shapeshifting, and was targeted specifically for
Halybards.  Any number of people could have done it.  Mandor conjures more
of the anti-shapeshifting poison.  Bill Roth brings Archi some paperwork
to do while he watches Laughter.

	(Muhahaha!  I'm BACK.  Dude.)

	Ulysses the Unconscious is breathing.  Bummer.  It's misty.  He's
wooozy.  He tries to Trump to the castle.  No dice.  He tries to shift
away the mist.  No dice.  He changes things around the Shadow - Shadow,
the GM says, is 'bad.' He's having a Trump problem, and he can't get rid
of the mist.  Are they related?  Nah, of course not.  Shadow is filled
with Greek like people.  Everyone is vegged out.  He filters the smell
with his sleeve.  He's in the Badlands of that Universe, but his Lens
works.  He shifts to Ygg, and it's clear there.  Trump works there.  He
can't Trump in the Atherton universe though.  Like someone decided that
this was, in essence, BAD.  He can shift Shadow though.  He tries to find
a mask that protects him from the mist in the Amber universe, and goes
back to the Badlands.  He goes back to Atherton.  He Trumps Sylvie - and
she's on the other side.  Ulysses is stumped.  "This bites."  He looks for
Benedict, and he's amassing for war.  Sylvie is sneaking into the Atherton
castle - where the Pattern there is.  Tianen is with Benedict, as his
prisoner.  Ulysses goes to retrieve Tianen, and splits.  Informs Tianen
that Sylvie is up to something, and wondering how she ended up with
Benedict.  There was talk with Tianen, and Ulysses got deposited by
Sylvie, who is up at the Atherton Castle.  Sylvie babbles about Balin,
Perseus, and stuff.  She admits to being nosy - what a surprise.  Her
brain cells are way, way lonely.  Ulysses is looking for 'bad people' who
put him in the mist.  They need Benedict to get his memory back.  They
talk about ways for Tianen (who is suddenly a good guy - I'm confused),
Sylvie and Ulysses to get Benedict out of the Atherton Universe.  None of
which sounds promising.

	Okay, back to me.  Woah.  I'm blown away.  I get ready to go to
that party.  My life is so dull, now that I've moved out of Amber.  Alice
is hostess of party - sister of guy.  Party is way dull.  I am most
disappointed.  People are asking about me being an Amberite.  Not cool. 
The party is horrid.  I drink.  I throw up, but hey, I had some fun.  I go
home.  I drop.  I also notice that I take little notes on my turn.  But
I'm basking in pointness.  All I know is some assholes are looking for
red-headed Amberites.  Time to go blond, methinks.

	Melanie is tagging after Balin, exploring the castle.  Sky stays
in the infirmary, to watch over Laughter - but maybe it's just curiosity. 
There was conjuring going on.  WHATEVA.  Mandor stays and researches the
poison a bit.  Archi whips up neurotoxins.  Ooh - he negates
anti-shapeshift.  Laughter comes around for a little bit.  There is Fiona,
who says she should walk the Pattern.  Is this a good plan?  Hmmm.  Fiona
doesn't think the pregnancy should be a problem.  After all, she walked
the Pattern when she was pregnant with Laughter.  Prognosis is not cool
for Laughter.  She is talking about snakes in a delirium.  It is
discovered that Archi has a higher psyche than Gerard.  Sky gets food. 
Time passes.  Zoom.

	Melanie, going upstairs, has a vision that everything is on fire. 
Vision is very brief.  Better her having delusions than me, and they call
ME crazy.  She stumbles, and Balin catches her.  This is all so
sickeningly sweet.  He did NOT cop a feel.  Melanie is a goof, this
talebearer thinks.  Balin doesn't dig the Pattern.  He doesn't think he's
ready.  Melanie gets a huge fear of the Pattern.  Coolness.  Now, THIS is
a minor problem.  She coaches her love muffin on.  They go to check it
out.  They contemplate it.  Balin is very very deep.  He thinks that it
sucks, and he's probably right.  Someone comes to tell Archi that someone
is in the Pattern room.  Melanie takes Balin back upstairs.  They Trump. 
Touching is involved.  Very sensual.  She gets warmer near the Pattern. 
Things are weird down Melanie St.

	Weenie Boy time.  Your faithful and suffering narrator thinks
Ulysses gets too much observances, oh my little brothers.  The dynamic duo
of Atherton get back to Tianen.  Tianen says the Athertons know that
Benedict is a threat.  People are unhappy.  Benedict is screwing them
over, too.  Unhappy day.  Some cousin dumped Ulysses in the bad Shadow. 
Things about Benedict that I missed.  *shrug* Ulysses, Sylvie, Tianen, and
a Logrused Benedict try to go back to Amber.  But Benedict has all his
jewelry.  They get back to Amber.  Ulysses goes to the infirmary and drops
Benedict at the King's feet.  This is unhappy.  Ulysses goes on a tirade
to Archi.  This is rather entertaining.  They get the Logrus Manacle off
of the Benedict, but they can't get the Trump Manacle off of him.  They
consider options.  Mandor and Tianen don't seem to like each other.  There
is something going on, but I'm missing it.  Grrr.  Benedict tries to kill
Ulysses.  He's awake and UNHAPPY.  The word is pissed, oh my brothers. 
They decide to get the Big D.  The DworkinMan.  Communication with him is,
as always, weird, but he comes through.  They get the Trump manacle off of
Benedict, and he heads for the Pattern.

	Melanie gets hit on by Balin.  They go to dinner.  It's nice. 
Your sorrowful narrator makes nasty comments, and courts death.  Dinner is
Redman Cuisine.  They make idle conversation.  Balin asks the WAY wrong
question - about her childhood.  Oops.  Not a good plan if he wants to get
laid.  But conversation is dull, and I'm happy my sister's life sucks just
as much as mine.  The childhood conversation is not so hot.  They talk
about Archi, and Melanie digs for information.  Sometimes, she gets
annoying.  She gets stuff on Archi's past life.  Too bad she doesn't have
the information I have.  Hah.  Talk about child raising, and that it seems
that people do well by their children.  Balin doesn't know Melanie all
that well.  THE SUBJECT IS CHANGED.  Beans.  The weather.  This guy is
dull, dull, dull.  They go to check on Laughter.

	Melanie and Balin enter the infirmary.  Archi, Sky, and Uselesses
is there.  Iciness in the infirmary.  Talk about Sky and Laughter's
attack.  Talk about anti-shape shift poison.  A guard knocks on the door. 
Brenner is gone.

	Someone comes upon the Eye of Peace.  Melanie takes off.  When she
gets there, it's gone.  *sigh* Life does suck.... even for your faithful
and innocent narrator.  She goes to Ygg.  No one has started drawing a
Pattern.  She tries to sense it.  This is bad.  It's just GONE.  Sucks to
be her.

	Ulysses talks to Dworkin (who is feeding cookies to Hewitt).  He
asks Dworkin about living Trump things.  Apparently the power wears off. 
Dworkin decides that Uselesses knows too much.  I concur.

	Melanie, our Goddess of Problems.  She is looking for her lost
gem.  She's not doing well.  Investigates her fear of the Pattern.  She's
bugged.  Balin calls.  He's concerned.  She pulls Balin through to Ygg. 
She talks about the multiple Patterns.  Balin mentions BED.  Melanie
squirms.  What a prude.  She goes back to Amber with Balin.  Wait until he
sees the CORSET.  Woah, baby.  Much movements toward sex.  Passionate
kiss.  Rude jokes were made.  She blue-balled Balin.  He stays the night,
anyway.

	In the infirmary, Laughter wakes up.  Archi is sweet.  Sky is
there, being supportive.  Talked about poison.  Archi and Laughter talk. 
Laugher whines, as she wants to sleep in her own bed.  She is way out of
it.  She asks about Fiona.  Fiona comes in (somehow) and watches over her
child.  Vigil happens, Fiona watches over, life is peaceful.

	Sandr dreams that Lady Alice arrives on a horse to take him to elf
land.  Sandr figures, what the hey, and goes along with this.  After a
while, they come to a river of blood, which they ride alongside.  She says
they must ride for 40 days and 40 nights.  Whatever.  They ride along a
blood-red sea for a while.  The water forms a tunnel, which they ride
through.  He asks to hit the fast-forward button, and the dream dissolves. 
He has a whopper hangover, grabs some aspirin and works on a hangover
cure.  Then he dies his hair brown.

	Midnight - Archi Trumps Benedict.  Very cordial conversation
happens.  Talk about Random, state of the kingdom, etc.  Talk about
Laughter.

	Ulysses is talking to Tianen, about lies and stuff.  They go to
bed.  He blackmails her with sex into helping him find out who turned him
into a living Trump.

	Sky wakes.  There is a batch of flowers outside her door.  

	Melanie has a nightmare.  Morning comes.  Balin's brain is in
place.  He offers to get a drink, and leaves quickly.  Melanie monitors
another Trump conversation between the mysterious strangers.  They talk
about Ulysses - discover that he's being drained.  Balin does return. 
Just before Balin arrives with the water, Melanie gets a major hot flash,
like a hot flash to the Eye of Peace.  It's overloading her.  She's being
dumped into.  She gets blisters on the skin.  She shapeshifts them away,
but not before Balin returns.  She is annoyed.  Balin looks concerned.  "I
really could use that glass of water."  She's getting more relaxed around
Balin.  Apparently he brushed his teeth.


Quotables:

"I remember everything I need to remember." -- Benedict
"I guess NOT." -- Ulysses

"You're not doing any better with (Benedict) than I did with the Unicorn,
so nahh." -- Wendi
"Yeah, but I got stabbed." -- Dann

"(Ulysses) isn't dead, is he?  That would be inconvenient." -- Melanie to GM

"It is my goal in life to make you have more children than I." -- Wendi to
Dann

"Has anyone ever walked the Pattern while they are pregnant." -- Archi
"I did." -- Fiona
"That explains a lot." -- Archi

"Ulysses looks triumphantly at Fiona." -- Dann
"She arches an eyebrow.  'I would have brought him back alive.'" -- GM

"You're in no danger here." -- Archi
"Certainly not from me." -- Ulysses
"That's right." -- Benedict

"We're having trouble getting the Trump manacle off of Benedict, and it's
making it hard for him to pick up chicks." -- Ulysses to Dworkin

"My lord, when we were feeding the prisoner, we noticed that he was gone."
-- Guards to Archi

"Is (Lady Alice) naked?" -- Sandr
"No." -- GM
"Of course not.  I'm gay." -- Sandr

"How do I know you're not lying." -- Ulysses
"You'd know." -- Tianen
"And how would I know?" -- Ulysses
"I'd tell you." -- Tianen