Somehow, I can accept this, when I couldn't accept it when Abigail
did it. Maybe because this is backward, and Abigail sent us forward.
Maybe because it's Dworkin, and I couldn't stop him if I tried. Maybe
because I don't have Fiona and Mandor this time, and I can't do it alone.
Maybe because the pit that swallowed my heart when Sylvie stepped out of
the shadows at the Primal Pattern, on Orrin's side. I don't know. But I
do know that I'm seven years in the past, and I'm stuck. Beauty is one,
Oriana is gone, Sylvie is yet to be, and never will be, born.
Dworkin was less then helpful, in his visit while we were going
back. Three questions, indeed. No fair answering a question with a
question, tough guy. Befriend Orrin, huh? I think I can do that.
I briefly thought about making a move on Laughter. Briefly. When
I saw the pain in Archi's eyes, I gave it up. Even if she never realizes
who he is, and what they were, I'm not gonna add to the pain by trying to
steal her. S'okay. I can probably get something going with Caitlin,
although Benedict is no mellower now then he was. Scary thing is, I don't
know how much I fear him, or any of the Elders, now. I'm almost on a par
with Bleys and Fiona, as far as abilities go, even if I'm not the psyche
madhouse they are. But I'm certainly not going to let them know what I
am. Though I suppose I can't stop them from recognizing I'm a living
Trump. Damn. Maybe I'll visit Sand, and see if she can't teach me that.
Or Melanie. If she made it back. No reason she wouldn't have, though.
The rest of us did.
I'm glad Laughter is back. It's good to see Archi happy again. I
don't know if I could have handled Mr. Congeniality if he hadn't gotten
her back. And the kids. How come he gets HIS kids? I don't see any
rat-dog bringing Oriana to me. Well, no matter. I guess without Beauty,
it's not worth worrying about.
Well, I've talked with most everyone who remembers, and we've all
agreed to not share any information we can get away with withholding.
Except for telling Random, who should know.
I could do without all the stupid slut cracks, though. Was I
really that bad? I mean, really. Oh well, it all lends well to hiding my
"new" powers. I don't know. It'll take some getting used to, I suppose.
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