I was digging through the box of loot that I smuggled out of
Amber, and beneath the pile of CDs, Star Trek novels, comic books, guitar
tabs and photographs, I found my red leather bound diary. I put it aside,
figuring that I'd look at it later, but Cleo decided to come chew on the
corner for a while, and I had to take it away from her. I think she wants
vengeance for the last catnip mouse I taunted her relentlessly with
Anyway, I was reading it, and some of the stuff seems an awful
long time ago. I moved out of Amber some seven weeks ago now, and I can't
remember all the stuff that happened anymore. Just one big blur.
I figure, I may pack it away and forget about it again, so I
should put down MY LIFE AS IT IS RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANT. In categories,
of course. (Analness is inherited from Brand.)
I like it in the Intellex. You take I-70 down the turnpike past
Ygg and make a left at the second exit. There abouts. It's on the Chaos
side of things, and based pretty much on _Do Androids Dream of Electric
Sheep_. (Or _Bladerunner_ to movie geeks.) I live in the big arcology
named Janus, and run a company called daVinci Space & Time. We build
electronics and computer toys.
Basically, I made myself very wealthy and warm and happy. The
Penthouse is very nice, and the view just goes on for infinity. I dig it.
Servants and everything.
My family currently consists of:
Melanie - my sister and compatriot in electronic crime.
Anton - my boyfriend. He's a fashion designer, and his models are
always lurking about. You wouldn't believe how much they EAT.
And they hang out at your parties. I have yet to decide if that
is a bug or a feature.
Ramesses Cat - My orange-striped tabby. Personally, I think Ram
is a secret cat assassin, put here by evil Chaosites. Since he's
always sitting at the top of the stairs when I get up in the
morning, trying to get me to trip.
Cleo Cat - My white Persian fluffy ball of kitten. Better known
as "The cat who walks into walls," I think she's hit so many
things she has brain damage.
I was living in that Shadow outside of Amber, and not really all
that happy. No, I was miserable. So one morning, I packed up Ram and
went for a walk down toward Ygg. My mind started drifting, and I started
thinking about the multiple Patterns problem. I did a little shifting,
and took some readings, and set up some experiments. What I discovered
was that there is Shadow decay - that they were starting to fall off
energy-wise into a void. Maybe a new abyss. This I figured amounted to
'BAD.' An abyss in the middle cuts Logrus off from the Pattern, Balance
ends, and the end happens. Not good.
So I figured that I needed something that can get me enough data
on the fall-off that I could figure out how to build a generator to stop
it. But even in 30 years I can't visit all those Shadows. I need a
I cooked up the Electric daVinci Interface. Oh, that's just how
to talk to Eddie. What sits underneath is a set of supercomputers running
in parallel. And the storage to store... the Trumps.
He's a big Shadow encyclopedia! He gets one, makes a variance,
and builds a new opening to a Shadow. Working on basic Pattern and Trump
principles, Eddie is a big database.
But he's not even close to done at this stage. I'm having
problems getting him to read the Trump. But I have a new plan.
Anyway, I hope the project gets me some answers. Soon.
Melanie's a busy little beaver too. She's moved in here, although
she needs to keep up appearances in Amber. Besides Eddie, I'm helping her
on two other projects:
TRUMP ANSWERING MACHINE: Sick of taking Trump calls? Tired of
being woken in the night by your psychotic father? Don't want
people to find you? Divert your calls to an answering machine!
We're making two.
LIVING TRUMP: I'm a big fount of power for the living Trump
project. I need it for Eddie, and she needs it just to have.
Living Trump blood is better than my wimpy regular blood. Since I
can supply Pattern, Trump and Sorcery, the project is going along
at a good clip. But we need a new Shadow for the fount, and I
just haven't had the time to go looking yet.
Lessee, besides having parties and working and being cool and
hanging around with Anton, I've taken up fencing and working out. And I
feel better. Yeah. But I think the shrink helps. Yep, the doctor just
lives a few floors down. Miracle of technology.
Oh, and I got my head wired for sound. I'm ONE with the computer.
Helps with programming.
Well, I've been there a grand total of five hours in seven weeks,
and I don't remember much.
Trip One: ran into Fiona, and discussed the whole multi-Patterns
thing. I cruised down Pattern-lane, and found the icky spot. She dropped
that she knew something, but I think she was just dropping to make me
nervous. If she wants to stop Eddie, she will and I can't stop her. So I
Met some guy who looks like he's Archimedes' new bodyguard or some
such. He's really, really weird. He freaked out all over, and looked at
me like I had an ostrich in my nose. Reminded me in a big way why I moved
out. He makes me really nervous. His one good quality is that he hangs
with my man, Mok.
I think I'll give him the card for my shrink. Psychoville.
Trip Two: I hit a wall in the land of Trump research. I made a
run for Amber to pick up references, and stopped to talk to the Big Head
Kahuna. His Greenness and I rapped for a while, and I dropped that I was
working on 'A SOLUTION.' That's it. He's cool, as always. He warned me
about el weirdo having an honor complex or something, but I'm not around
anymore, so I don't know what the big deal is.
Lord Dude looks tired. I don't know if being King suits him so
well. I think he was happier when he could just beat the crap out of me
to get me to go away.
Trip Three: Just yesterday! I remember this one. I met this
chick, named Kate or Caitlin. Something like that. She's plenty cool,
but she reeks of BENEDICT. He gives a new meaning to the word
'benediction,' and I feel like Revelations are about to be recited over
the breakfast table. (A major etiquette faux pas, I may add.) If you
talked to her, he glared at you. But I seemed to get away with it. Maybe
because I'm pretty safe. Maybe because I'm little and wimpy and a harm to
I felt bad. She wanted to go cruising in Shadow, and I just don't
have time to take her. Maybe someone will be nice and take her out.
Maybe Ulysses will try to sleep with her, and get turned into
Benedictbits. One can only hope.
Oh! Speaking of Ulysses, I was mulling 'vengeance' over in my
mind. I remember being told that Amberites are real big on this revenge
fixation, and that I should actually DO something. I think I've got the
Shadow all picked out to drop him in for a little vacation, but I can't
figure out how to teleport him there. Maybe I'll just wait until he
Hellrides and steer him in the right direction. A little help from
But it has something to do with 400 lb. women in string bikinis
with hairy backs. Ew. Gives me the willies thinking about it. And
parachutes. They have to parachute in, ON him. And be all sex crazed.
Personally, I'd call it revenge. :)
I'm stuffing this under my bed, so that I can misplace it for
another seven or so weeks. I can hear Anton landing his car up on the
roof, and we're going out somewhere. (The limo is big enough to fit the
goons.) Tomorrow's a big work day, Trump-wise, so I have to sleep tonight.
Cleo looks hungry. She's giving me that 'give me attention' look.
Ahh, I'm falling prey.
Under the bed it goes. Swoosh!
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