From zenith@engin.umich.eduMon Jan 30 12:05:43 1995 Date: Mon, 30 Jan 1995 09:41:53 -0500 (EST) From: "Emily K. Dresner" To: shadows@umich.edu Subject: Sandr XXVII My life isn't getting any easier. It's not a better or worse situation. It's just not easier. I'm starting to think that my father had more sperm than all of the other Amberites combined. I remember something he told me once about Amberites and their ability - or lack thereof - to reproduce. But that apparently didn't stop him. Not like I'm complaining, it's just - sometimes I wish he would have told me how many siblings I *do* have before he died. It's a little disconcerting when people keep showing up, knowing exactly who you are, carrying trumps of you (I'M not even carrying trumps of me) with little falling stars on the back, and looking like you, but better. No forwarning. But it's not a big deal, it's just more people that I have to deal with, and it keeps throwing me off stride. My sister's name is Melanie. She reminds me of Fiona in a big way. It's that same sort of attidude. Although, I have to admit, she looks better than Fiona does. She's already used me and pumped me for information, so she takes after Dad. :) (Unlike me, who got all of Dad's bad traits - art, mood swings, math and physics, etc. - and the rest is all my mother.) She's older than I am by a good spread, and I'm wondering if she really was born before I was in Amber chronology (making her, what, at least 100 years Amber time) or if she's like Maron, born during the last 30 years Amber time, but much older than me due to time flow. I should ask, instead of speculating. Another thing, is she a daughter of Cymnea, or a half-shadow freak like me? Ah, doesn't matter much. I'll find out in time. The one thing that DOES piss me off is that she just handed Eve over to Maron. I guess I can't complain, Eve wanted to go home with her dad, and I guess that it would have been stupid to say no. So I've done my stint as a babysitter. I liked the little girl, I really did. But I'm neither stable nor well, and maybe it's best that she's with her parents. Sky IS going to kick my ass, though, for losing the kid. I think I'll deal with that when it happens, and not worry about it now. I took Melanie to breakfast, making the warning that meals with Amberites tend to be a trippy experience. I introduced her to the Family, and let her collect data. She reminds me of a big tape backup system. She just sits there and asks her questions and records all the data there is. I wonder if she's got the family photographic memory. (Dad had it, Fiona and Bleys I'm sure have it, I've got it, so I assume so does Melanie and Maron. Me, I just ignore it, but that's another tale unto itself.) Everyone was pretty much screaming at once: The fog had disappaited, and noone knew if this was good or bad. Ulysses, whom I had seen the previous dinner, claimed that he had been hanging from a tree for nine days. He was acting really bizarre, which matches what he was acting the night before. Maybe, all those pills that he had confiscated, maybe he tried some. Or maybe he discovered that you need those pills to cope with shadow sometimes. Next time he shouldn't go out alone. Laughter and Archimedes were expounding about getting married, and realized that they had not sent out the invitations, and who where the caterers, anyway? Since no one had picked out the menu, they thought that it would be prudent to delay the wedding another day or so. Besides, the universe is ending, don't you listen to family conversations? Melanie spoke much on the houses of Chaos, and Cameron perked up. Apparently, we're ALL getting screwed. Is there anything new? Can there be beauty in madness? I think if the House of Barimen went a day without a good, thorough ass kicking, we'd all feel disappointed. There is a corner on the market on the Eyes of the Serpent. Apparently, someone in Chaos doesn't think that the Serpent needs to see. I think someone in Chaos is an idiot, but saying that is likely to pick me as a target, so I'll reserve my opinions for the time being. Mok eyed my Strat. Then he eyed Sky. That's one thing I really like about Mok: he's openly, honestly horny. He has no malice, no plans, no greater schemes to fulfill. All he wants to do is get laid, and that I can respect. I shook my head, kept it down, and let things fly past. It's a good plan. Anyway, I don't think I'm doing much this morning. I'm in a mood transition. (Yeah, I've seen my past entries into my log. *shiver* It's a wonder I'm still alive. I ought to just lock myself in a room with padded walls when I hit bottom. Just nasty.) I figure I could go get my head together while I'm still mostly sane. It's too bad that they don't sell six-packs in Amber. Yeah, I know beer in the morning is bad, but I just want to go sit, be alone for a while, work out my myriad of problems, and play a little. Maybe watch the boats. One may ask, "Gee, Alek, what about Maron?" And I'd say, "Well, hell, the bastard showed up last night and didn't kill me in my sleep. If he shows up now while I'm mellow, I'll just offer the guy a beer." Maybe things can be worked out. I mean, he killed my father, and that, well, damn, it makes me really pissed. But maybe there's a story. And maybe I'm a wimp, because I don't want to kill a guy with a little daughter. Oh, well. I'm off. Oh, yeah, I have new Pattern Theory #36. I figure I can go work out the math while I'm off being mellow. I think it would be most appropo if I died on the Pattern because I forgot to carry a two. :) But if it works, BEANS! I noticed that everyone has a "future history" but me. I figured that I was probably just dead, which would explain alot of things. But maybe not. Maybe... there is just a way to save Dworkin. :) Or not. We'll see. ______________________________________________________________________________ Aleksandr Kuenstlersohn | Emily Dresner Advanced Pattern Initiate | Computer Engineering Senior Sorcerer/Son of Brand | Programmer/Nuisance Castle Amber | University of Michigan | sandr@primal.pattern.com | zenith@engin.umich.edu ______________________________________________________________________________