The Abyss has yielded nothing yet, but I intend to try again, once
I am rested.  They must be in there, somewhere.  I will find them.

	That dream.  I do not think I will soon forget that dream.  It was
so vivid.  I could smell the blood as it spurted from Kaedric's throat. 
He said he loved me, and Abigail killed him.  Why would I dream of this? 
It cannot be a new variation on my dream of Edward, for Father was not
involved.  And I do not love Kaedric.  I do not care if Abigail kills him. 
It would be just what he deserved, after what he did to me.  Why should it
matter that he could not tell me from her?  And yet, the dream disturbs
me, anyway.

	That demon has to have come from Abigail.  As must my nightmare. 
It cannot be a coincidence that the two arrived together.  What did she
hope to accomplish with either?  The dream was just a dream, and the demon
was easily dispatched.  Although it killed Chloe first.  Abigail will pay
for that.  Abigail will pay for many things.

	I do not know why I bothered to warn Kaedric.  I do not know why I
expected him to help.  He has been visited by neither dreams nor demons. 
I should not have mentioned my dream.  It was of no consequence.  He
already knows that she hates him.

	The bird did not bear an olive branch, but the note it delivered
served the same purpose.  After four years, Archimedes has offered an
apology and invited me to return to Amber.  Provided I meet certain
conditions.  Of course, to be fair, I do not believe it has been quite so
long for him.  The question is, do I wish to return enough to agree to his
stipulations?  It is not an easy decision to make.  I have not suffered
from my absence from Amber, but it would be advantageous to be able to
return there on occasion.  And I am willing to abide by his request that I
raise my objections to his commands in private.  But he must understand
that are some orders I cannot obey.  And I do not know if he will be
willing to accept this.

	Joseph.  I do not believe I know this one.  Good of Alek to give
me his image.  I may contact him eventually, I suppose, but not until I
learn more about who he is.  I find it incomprehensible that Alek
attempted to free him without knowing anything about him.  My brother is
such a fool, sometimes.  For all we know, this Joseph might be another
Finndo.  Or worse.

	Alek's progeny seems to have developed a mind of his own.  It was
inevitable.  Alek never understood why I would not give Eddie any of my
blood, especially not after I became a living Trump.  It would give him
too much power.  I knew that someday he would decide to leave.  Alek never
understood this.  What disturbs me is that Abigail apparently was
communicating with Eddie for a while, trying to find a way to traverse
Shadow.  The solution was something called inter-Shadow.  Unfortunately,
there is no more data on this place.  A project for a later date.  I must
deal with Abigail, though, and soon.  I grow tired of her assuming my
identity for her own ends.

	I should have known.  I should have seen it coming.  I should have
stopped him.  I should have called him sooner.  I should have known.

	I am fine.

	Kaedric keeps following me.  He shouldn't have been able to follow
me to Chantille Vale.  I am supposed to be safe here.  He shouldn't be
here.  Why won't he go away?  Why won't Alek go away?  Why won't they just
leave me alone?

	I am fine.

	I am in the Abyss.  Alek is gone.  But Kaedric is still here. 
How?  It should be too vast for him to find me.  Like I could not find
Maron.  Like I could not find Maron's body.  The body that would not be
here if I had Trumped him sooner.

	I am fine.

	Really.  Why would I not be?  So, he was my brother.  That should
not matter.  Father said never to care.  And I do not.  He is probably not
even dead.  He was not dead the last time.  Why did he not talk to me? 
Why did you not tell me, Maron?  Why did you do it?  What happened to make
you give up your life?  And why did I not notice?

	I am fine.

	If l go to Ixaxis, then Kaedric says he will stop following me.  I
want to stay in Chantille Vale, but then he will stay here.  And he does
not belong here.  I wish he and Alek would go away.  Why do not they
believe me?

	I am fine.

	There is ice on my face.  It stings.  It hurts.  It should.  I
want it to hurt.  Then maybe I will not feel the other hurt.  The one that
leaves me numb all over.  The one I should not feel.  The one that does
not exist.

	I am fine.

	Kaedric is bringing me below.  He says my face is bleeding.  He
does not understand.  Why is he doing this?  Why will he not leave me
alone?  I just want to be alone.  Forever and ever.

	I am fine.