I was not expecting to find Kaedric with Sylvie.  It seems that my
sister has taken a liking to him.  It may explain why she showed him her
true form.  Perhaps she hoped her resemblance to Abigail would serve to
attract him.  I could not determine how successful she was.  Not that it
matters, of course.  It is no concern of mine.  Except...  Except it
bothers me anyway.  It should not, but it does.  If it did not, his
presence there would not have thrown me so.  I like this not at all.  I
cannot possibly still be attracted to him, not after this long, not after
what he did.  But then why does he disconcert me like no other?

	There does not seem to be an effective way to determine if Delwin
is present within me.  The only method Kaedric could think of was a strong
psychic scan, which would probably drive Delwin out and into the one doing
the scanning.  This is not acceptable.  The Taormin made Delwin what he
is, it must be able to detect him, or better yet, imprison him again. 
Sand would know for certain, but I cannot get her to answer her Trump
calls.  I am surprised that she is so willing to see Delwin wandering
free, given all the trouble he has caused.

	I set foot in Amber today, for the first time in four years.  It
was not something I planned, but it was where Benedict pulled me through
to.  Archimedes was walking the Pattern, so there was nothing he could do
about my presence, even if he was aware of it.  And, knowing Benedict, I
doubt he will ever learn of my brief visit.  Benedict was the logical one
to contact, given what Alek told me.  He is being held as a "technical
consultant" by Hellmaids out in the Badlands, with Laughter and Caitlin
for company.  This leaves Archimedes and Benedict as the ones with the
largest stake in the matter, and Archimedes is no doubt far gone in
blood-lust by now.  I have done all I can in this matter, given my status
in Amber, but I am confident it will be sufficient.  I am sure Alek can
take care of himself until help arrives.

	Well, Archimedes dealt with the situation in the manner I
expected.  That should serve to discourage any other would-be kidnappers,
or at least inspire them to be more careful.  His bloody single-mindedness
does have its places, and this was one of them.  I wonder what he would do
if he knew that Caitlin stopped Laughter from attacking the Hellmaid
leader?  React poorly, no doubt.  I can understand her fear of what would
happen should he find out.  Well, he shall not learn it from me.  Given my
own experience with Archimedes' irrationality, I will not subject another
to that fate.  At least not Caitlin.

	How odd to think that Benedict feels he owes me for my assistance. 
Not a bad thing, to be sure, although all the favors Archimedes still owes
me do not seem to have mattered much.  Then again, Benedict is rational,
where Archimedes is not.  It is unfortunate that Benedict does not wish to
rule.  He, at least, is a man I would be willing to follow.  If I had to 
follow someone.

	Archimedes' approach to the problem did provide Eddie with some
rather useful data on the Patterns in general.  The energy he drew from
the Pattern actually managed to stabilize a portion of the Badlands, if
only for a little while.  Eddie was right in his hypothesis that the other
universes must be separated or destroyed.  Simply bleeding over the bad
spot and then redrawing it would only temporarily fix the problem, and it
is not something that can be done on a regular basis.  None of the data
contradicts my hypothesis, fortunately.  I believe it is time to see what
other minds make of it.

	Auntie Fi can be rather childish, sometimes.  It was rather petty
of her to take Alek's call and not mine.  Not that it mattered in the end. 
It is rather satisfying to realize that I managed to come up with a
possible solution that even she overlooked.  She needs to be reminded
occasionally that she is not as omniscient as she likes to believe.  So,
what remains is to find the Eye and see if I can attain the higher
initiation to it.  Otherwise, this whole plan is somewhat moot.  Hopefully
Maron can tell me who is currently in possession of it.

	Dear God, Maron, what were you thinking?  We warned you that it
probably would not work.  Why could you not have waited just a little
longer?  I had a solution.  If only you had waited...  You always were too
impulsive.  And now, that impulsiveness may have killed not only you, but
Eve as well.  You should have sent her to me, Maron.  You should have let
me know you were going to do this.  It did not have to happen this way.

	I feel so very alone now.  Maron and Eve were the only family, the
only anything, that I had left from my life prior to coming to Amber.
Well, there is Mother, but she hardly counts.  She gave me to Father and
never looked back.  I doubt she has given me a second thought since then.

	With Maron's universe gone, there is no longer much point in
pushing my solution to the problem of the Patterns.  Alek will no doubt be
relieved, since he was so torn between using my solution and following
Archimedes, who just wants blood, and lots of it.  I suppose it is some
small consolation that the Eye was lost with Maron, which halts
Archimedes' plan as well as mine.  Maybe they will just resort to the
Benedict method.  I no longer care.  All I care about is finding my
brother and my niece, if they managed to survive.

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