I no longer understand. Nothing I have learned, in my home, in
books, or anywhere else, has given me the ability to understand this.
Dworkin, insane creator of the Pattern, and perhaps the universe, was
stuck in a wall. Now he is in Mok's body. That is my doing, and not
something I will easily forget. I just hope that he does nothing
unpleasant to the boy.
Archimedes seems to be forgetting things, every day. I think he
remembers different things each time he wakes. Sometimes he remember who
he is, sometimes not. Before, he forgot his own wife. Then, he forgot
that we shared a soul. He deserves, I suspect, whatever he receives, but
it is difficult for Laughter, and that is bothersome. I don't know why I
care, but I do.
And I STILL have not been to Assyssla. Cordelia waits for me
there, and I am denied her. If Dworkin does not do something quickly, I
must go through Shadow, regardless of the dangers involved.
The thought of Ulysses being...
I cannot. There are some things, Spirits, better left unknown,
and if known, unsaid. I will not think on this. Nor will I bring it to
you. The ancestors of my people will not be corrupted by the Whore of
Amber, or anything having to do with him.
the Diary list