Great Spirits, I seek your guidance. My journey among the gods
continues. They tell me many things, and do not tell me many more. My
understanding of the words they speak is good, but the meaning behind
those words is often hidden. Corwin, chief amongst gods, insists he is my
father. I begin to doubt him. He has let his woman be stolen, and
instructed me in a task that would have ended in the death of the warrior
who took her. He tricked me into killing, instead of doing it himself.
He took the son of the man who stole his woman, rather than fight him for
her. I truly fail to understand why he would give up the woman, but keep
the sons. His tale of Patternfall, told during our return to his
"castle," was good, but at odds with what he did, and asked me to do. I
do not know if I accept that he is my father, unless the fruit has fallen
far from the tree, as the old women say.
When I went to do Corwin's bidding, the woman, Sky, goddess of the
realms above, was gone. She had run from her new man, though I expect he
caught her again. He is a sorcerer, and running from him would be futile.
I was able to find Claudio, and knocked him unconscious when he would have
denied my intent. Before I could step on the Pattern, though, yet another
god, called Kaedric, Trumped me, and my burden, away. I fought with him
for a short time, but then things went black. Every time I have fought,
thus far, I have somehow lost awareness for a time. I do not know what it
is, but must proceed cautiously in the future. Perhaps gods cannot fight
Later, when I returned to my awareness, Kaedric was holding my
head, and spoke to me for a time. He gave me a Trump of a place called
Amber, and allowed me to go there. When there, I found that Claudio and
Sky had arrived by other means, proving that Corwin planned Claudio's
death. Another god, Archimedes, who I had met earlier, along with one
called Benedict, came to me, and asked that I not kill any of the denizens
of Amber. This may point to the inability to fight other gods. I do not
know. I am still trying to understand the Patternfall, and remember why I
do not have my own Trump. Is there a veil to my memory, that keeps things
from me? Do I have a deck elsewhere, that I have forgotten? I do not
think so, but do not otherwise understand why I lack one.
Great Spirits, I seek your wisdom. There are so many things I do
not know, and do not understand. Guide me, Mighty Spirits, in my search
for these truths. Send me your wisdom, or point my steps to a teacher,
one of greater knowledge than I, who will speak the truth. This I ask of
you, Spirits of... the Ancestors, Guardians of my People.
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