I didn't think it would turn out this way, but I'm rather glad I
prepared for it. And glad as well, that she cherished the bracelet enough
to wear it, because I do not think I could have found anyone or anything
It was a long, rotten day, the day she wouldn't talk to me, the
day after Aleksandr died. I was restless and anxious, but stubborn pride
did not allow me to call her more than once, and stubborn pride did not
allow me to finesse the time and pass more than a few moments with her
when she did deign to answer my call. I will be kicking myself through
eternity that I did not try my damnedest to spend my last day as a living,
breathing creature in her arms, or that I did not take her to the fastest
Shadow and live a lifetime with her, before going off to find Caitlin.
But I didn't. I didn't even try when I failed her this time. And it's a
long list of failing her, isn't it, Kaedric?
Instead, I spent that long, rotten day talking to Sand, who spent
the time in an almost manic fever, some of it, chewing her lips and
looking out at the sea. I'd known her a thousand years, and she'd never
told me why she sleeps so poorly at night. I'm not even sure I understand
But, being dead does reveal other things. I think, given time, I
could become as adept as Delwin the Damned at leaving my shell and taking
other bodies to serve my purposes. I *could.* And, given the things I
must say to Melanie in person, I probably will. That is not, of course,
what I have learned by being dead, but those are mysteries that cannot be
thought of in words...
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