It has been exhausting, the past few weeks. Too many preparations
to take the time to write anything down. Not enough time to question
anything. Like, what is Dworkin's plan for the doubles?? Are we to use
them now?? I mean, he set it up so that Killian would discover them. Of
all people, why Killian?? And why not Kaedric?? What happened to the
original Kaedric? Do I want to know?? It was unsettling to look at my
body and see the innocence that was there. I was ashamed of what I had
become for a while there. My double's face was that of a warrior, no
thoughts to get in the way of the sword. Similar to Killian, I guess. I
guess I can understand Killian a little better by looking at my younger
self. Like I said, unsettling. But to see Sky like that, for all
appearances dead, my heart nearly stopped. I dared not look at her too
long, for I dared not show any sign of weakness in front of Killian. I
wonder what Archimedes felt when seeing his wife and granddaughter's
doubles? I think Fiona was the most unruffled of the four of us.
Sometimes I wonder if she has any emotions at all. I wonder even more
when she can look at her own body and not get bothered by it. She is very
Speaking of controlled, there is Ragnar. A sell-sword. Bah. The
Christians used them, and they were always the first to break formation.
But then he did kill Abigail. He's a sorcerer, which makes him dangerous.
He's also from Chaos, and apparently quite rich, considering the money I
brought him. Yet he is not of any house. That makes me nervous. I don't
like it when I have no way of knowing a person's allegiance. Especially
when he has the ear of Archimedes. I must admit, he was quite brave
during the raid on Finndo's camp.
The first raid that I watched my sons take part in. Isaac and
Gareth handled themselves ably. I was impressed that they had learned so
well. I must remind them that they need to continue training. They have
much to learn, even now. I will not leave them on a battlefield, if I
can. Enough of this, I must prepare for the rituals.
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