What is Corwin thinking??  Make Amends??  She is going to kill me. 
That is not what I had hoped to teach Isaac, that his mother is a
murderer.  It has been almost eleven years for me, and her eyes still
reduce me to the basest of servants.  Her anger is so great, I cannot find
any compassion within them.  What is she going to do?  I know that she has
every right to lop off my head, and may do so, yet I hope and pray for her
to tell me that I am forgiven.  Forgiven of defiling her, forgiven for
losing my honor.  Forgiven for not seeking her sooner.  Forgiven for
betraying both our people's customs.  In the end, that is all I can ask of
the woman that I love.  Whoever Shakespeare was, Kaedric is right, he was
a wise man.  Now if only his words could help me to win her back.  For if
she does not come back to me, then what is life, anyway?  Learning how to
shift and fooling with powers that are not the way of a warrior, that is
all that is left to me.  I hope Kaedric will save Graham, for I fear I
will not return to him.  For even if she chooses not to slay me, and we
become one, what will Corwin say?  Or do?  I could never best him in the
test of arms.  Nor do I believe sorcery to be of much help in this.  No,
my son is lost to me.  May you find each other, my sons, as Kaedric and I
have.  Whatever happens, I will finish this with honor.  That may be the
last gift to my sons.  Sky, what are you thinking?  You are making my
thoughts turn in circles.  Death from you, or death from Corwin, the end
result be the same, but my hope lies in death from Corwin.  For at least
then I shall be loved by one person.  Hmm... how will they mark the tomb? 
Here lies Claudio, youngest son of Delwin, he died by a woman's hand?  Or
here lies Claudio, youngest son of Delwin, he died fighting for his
love...  The second sounds more preferable to me.  If only Sky would make
her decision...

<- Back to the Diary list