I sit here in an uncomfortable chair, with a pillow and a blanket.
I wonder how these things got here? Sandr, I guess. A part of me feels
better for having secured his friendship, but there still exists inside me
something...primal, the need for companionship. Something I had denied
myself all those years in Helene, when I could have had my pick of the
litter of barbarians, warlords, hell, even kings. He can't understand
what I see in him. That's just it; I see *in* him, not the small,
nervous, quirky young man that he appears to be. He showed me kindness in
an uncaring world. I would repay that debt with my love.
I'm watching my mother sleep, breast rising and falling to rhythm.
Did Melanie and Kaedric know the pain I felt when Aelle said she had no
recollection of me? My expectations were high -- I was expecting a
confidant, a friend, someone to tell me the world would turn out right. A
mother. Now I fret, uneasy thoughts of a relative removed to far to ever
become close. Was all this worth it? I'll only know when her eyes open.
It would be nice to have the closeness that Archimedes and
Laughter share. I think I might have stumbled upon something like that
developing between Kaedric and Melanie, though I'd never dare ask.
Spending time with Melanie tells me how different two women can be. I
must remember to thank both her and Kaedric again for their efforts.
My father needs to know about Aelle, if he hasn't already heard.
I want to be here when she wakes, though. I want her to look at me, and
tell me about my heritage. I want her to stroke my hair, and tell me
things will be okay between Sandr and I.
Dawn approaches. I stretch out a bit on the rickety chair, trying
to get more rest. Perhaps I'll feel better this morning than I did last,
when nausea overtook me.
I wonder what that can be about?
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