I had dreams of birds and trees and sunlight...

	I awoke in that Shadow, happy, yet fearful.  I had the odd
sensation that my father was watching me.  I began to shiver.  Sandr was
sleeping, heavily.  I rose and gathered my things, remembering that we
were barred from Trump.

	What happened next I should have expected.  Neither of us were in
much of a mood to talk.  I figured we'd let some time pass before
discussing the future.  He tried to lay some guilt upon me, but I shrugged
it off.  It's not like I don't know I probably ruined his marriage,

	It was not a great way to part.  Nor did the most recent events
help.  I fear for his sanity as well as his life.

	My fears of my father turned out to be valid.  Returning home, I
found he wanted to talk with me.  We Trumped to the black road.  He told
me that my mother was his niece, my cousin.  He also warned me about
Pattern retardation in the children of two cousins.  The way he discusses
these kinds of things galls me.  I'm not the one who had a child with his
own niece.  Anyway, it's not a certainty that I'll even become pregnant. 
Nothing ever came of my... experience in Helene.

	I went to breakfast.  I was Trumped by Sandr.  He did not look
good at all.  I went to him.  I never made it.

	I awoke next to him, surrounded by Archimedes, Ulysses, and most
of the rest of the royals.  That's when we were taunted by Abigail.  And
sent 125 years into Amber's future.  Unwise, Abigail.  If there's anything
left of you when Ulysses, Claudio, or Sandr finish with you, it'll
decorate my quarters back in Amber proper, if I decide to return.  I think
I'll kill you like I did Joseph -- Pattern Blades rupturing various vital

	God, I'm getting too into this...

	She kidnapped Anton and Nadine.  Told them what we were doing. 
Sandr's on the verge of suicide.  Ulysses appears to have lost his sanity. 
Even if we get back to Amber proper, what awaits there?  A suspicious
Father, Sandr without family, a world of suffering...

	Melanie has made a tempting proposal.  This Amber is safe.  There
is peace.  We could be disrupting the past.  I want to help Ulysses, since
I can walk this new Pattern.  I have nothing better to do.  The best thing
for him, Archimedes, and Sandr would be to get them back to their own
time.  As for myself, I've not made that decision yet.  It's something
I'll have to consider.  I have my father here, who is happy to see me
alive again.  No friends' lives to ruin.  No one to pester, bother.

	I will make a choice.

	Until the morning, then.

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