U•Con 2003 Quotes

"Blaze of Glory" by Sol Foster

Cast of Characters

"It's too big, it's never going to fit!" -- Liz Trumitch to the group, watching Edwin Voskamp trying to park his SUV

"We have to wait for the game to get going before we derail it." -- Sean Frost to the group

"In the meantime, you guys return from wherever the hell you've been." -- GM to Rámon and Eddie
"Where the hell have I been?" -- Rámon, confused

"I have a mission for you." -- Bleys
"I knew I should have stayed away." -- Rámon

"Rámon, good to see you back." -- Bleys
"I was gone?" -- Rámon

"What's so important about these cards?" -- Eddie
"They have pictures of naked women." -- Lorianne
"I understand." -- Rámon

"So the cards are in Paris?" -- Jeffery
"Yes." -- Bleys
"And the cards are fireproof?" -- Jeffery
"Yes." -- Bleys
"Excellent." -- Jeffery

"Is there something we should be praying for?" -- Jayne
"I've been praying for a dragon. It doesn't work." -- Jeffery

"We could put the ship on the train (to Paris)." -- Jeffery
"Assuming there aren't any tunnels." -- Cyrano

"I want to be on the subtle team. I've got 11 women, we can be subtle." -- Jayne to the group

"So let me get this straight. We have Jayne and her women disguised as prostitutes, Rámon as their pimp, and William as a pimp-in-training. This is the subtle team?" -- Lorianne to the group

"Let me get this straight, you're going to take down everyone you see in case they have cards, and you're on the subtle team?" -- Jeffery
"You wanted to burn down Paris!" -- Rámon

"I think the Sharks are split (on what to pray for). Some of them pray for survival. Some of them pray for a name." -- Jeffery to the group

"Do the Sharks talk to you when they're not around?" -- Jeffery
"Only the dead ones." -- Jayne

"The Sharks are 11 prostitutes." -- GM
"See! Prayer does work." -- Rámon

"We can be nuns on a pilgrimage." -- GM
"We've done nuns." -- Jayne

"Rámon is going to be the pool boy with a ripped shirt." -- Jayne
"Do they have pool boys in Paris?" -- Lorianne
"No, but the concept is clear. There doesn't have to be any actual pool involved." -- GM
"So Rámon is going to be the prostitute." -- Lorianne

"I'll take the dress of death. I don't know if I'm going to use it." -- Jayne to the group

"What does Louis think of Bleys?" -- Spider to GM
"Please don't ever send your people into my country!" -- Kris Fazzari

"Would you like us to wax your hair?" -- Robyn and Jayne to Rámon
"And Rámon is probably thinking, 'I thought I had enough grease in my hair, but if you want to add more....'" -- Kris Fazzari

"Wherever (Jeffery) goes, revolt follows." -- Lorianne
"Not every place." -- Jeffery
"Name one place we've visited where revolt hasn't followed." -- Lorianne
"There was no revolt in Scotland. I couldn't find any people." -- Jeffery

"Are you outfitting Rámon as a pool boy or a gay prostitute?" -- Cyrano
"We're going to Paris, what's the difference?" -- Jeffery

"The exchange rate (in southern France) is really good. One eddie is worth a thousand francs." -- GM to the group

"David Steel is 5'8" tall, kind of rat-faced." -- GM
"So he looks like pretty much every French man." -- Jeffery

"Is (David Steel) a politician?" -- Spider
"Well, he is described as a small-time con artist, so it kind of fits." -- Jeffery

"I make sure there is nothing on the plane that identifies it as one of Bleys'." -- Spider to GM
"So you throw the panties out." -- Sean Frost

"Look, now you don't need a shirt in order to have a bib." -- Rámon to the group, slapping a napkin on his recently oiled chest
"Now we know where the term 'greasy Spaniard' came from." -- Jeffery

"So the King is going to see us soon? You were told this by a lover of the King?" -- Jayne
"By one of the Queen's maids." -- Pierre Schreier
"Oh yes, that's a fine distinction." -- Robyn

"Unfortunately with this King, I cannot grab him by the hair and put a knife to his throat until he sees sense." -- Jayne
"True, because you don't know enough French to say that." -- Eddie

"You have an hour and this bag of money. Make me look like a woman." -- Jeffery, speaking for Jayne to a seamstress

"It's the adventures of the electric pool boy!" -- Jenn Woelke to the group, after learning that Rámon has been wired

"Look at how my chest shines in the candlelight." -- Rámon
"Please don't speak." -- Jayne

"There is a man I'm looking for." -- Jayne
"Ah yes, you need a man, I understand." -- Pierre Schreier

"We're sorry Sol, instead of looking for the cards, we've apparently decided to destroy Paris." -- Kris Fazzari to GM

"I'm supposed to look good." -- Rámon
"So your mission was doomed from the start." -- Lorianne

"I'm naked, I'm not running away." -- Jayne to the group, after the King calls for his guards

"I turn off that part of my brain." -- Jayne to the group
"That would be her whole brain." -- Kris Fazzari

"I saved our bacon!" -- Eddie to the group
"Yes, and Jayne is keeping the eggs warm." -- Sean Frost, as Jayne stands with her arms crossed over her naked breasts

"(Jayne's) completely naked in the King's pool and (she's) worried that (her) hairstyle is coming out?" -- Sean Frost to Liz Trumitch

"It's only one note, but he plays it so well." -- Robyn to the group, as Jeffery foments rebellion in yet another city

"If Jayne's up, I'm up. It's a survival reflex." -- Robyn to the group

"(David Steel) killed eight guards and then died in his flaming house." -- Minister to Jayne
"What did (the King) do, send Sharks after him?" -- Sean Frost

"Do you know anything about naked playing cards?" -- Rámon to some maids, as he rips his clothes off

"What color is the sky in your world?" -- Lorianne
"The color of Lord Bleys' eyes. We've been over this before." -- Jayne

"I look for a maid that's dressed like a French maid." -- Jayne
"Aren't all of the French maids dressed like French maids?" -- Robyn

"Would you like to live in your robe, or in clothes that men like to be seen in?" -- Jayne to the King of France

"We have (the King) now. He's just a big old man with no defenses. He's mine." -- Jayne
"Jayne collects the oddest things." -- Eddie

"Don't let Rámon get too close to the fire, or we really will have a flaming Spaniard on our hands." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"If I die, I couldn't build things later." -- Eddie to the group

"I'd like to make this a really dramatic and complicated story, but the truth is you kick his ass." -- GM to Cyrano

"These women have probably never been stabbed before." -- Jayne
"Actually, they have, they went through your training, didn't they?" -- GM

"A small tribe of natives is hardly a threat." -- Jeffery to the group

"Way to take one for the team." -- Rámon to Jayne, after she breaks her wrists while stopping herself from falling into a hole

U•Con

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  Hellriders have passed through here since December 24, 2003.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Quotes taken by Kris Fazzari.

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.