Courts of Chaos Con 1999 Quotes

"In the Name of the Father" by Anne Davis

Cast of Characters

"No, I didn't say (I was going into the) Abyss. I said abbis. It's a church down the way." -- Daric Kozlowski to ?

"Whenever the GM asks if you have a Trump of someone, the correct answer is, 'Hell, Yes!' said quickly and with enthusiasm." -- Daric Kozlowski to ?

"How does your brother know so much of the Abyss?" -- Anya
"Oh, he got thrown in as a kid." -- Chaos Scum Guy
"I would think that doesn't happen often around here." -- Anya
"Not often enough, if you ask me." -- Chaos Scum Guy

"Why are you sick and I'm not?" -- Maeve
"Because I've been trying to collapse myself into a dot for two months and you haven't." -- Marsaili

"Cracks and Shards" by Wendi Strang-Frost

Cast of Characters

"Ki's mother was a genetically engineered catwoman." -- Graeme Smith
"If (Ki) starts getting busy with my Afghan, man, game over." -- Lisamarie Babik

"So, at eight years old, (Alexis) is already giving her cookies away?" -- Kay Lyerly to the group

"Pick a number between one and ten." -- GM
"Oh, I'm so bad at this." -- Lisamarie Babik

"I stand up." -- Ishmael
"The woman that was on top of you falls down." -- GM
"I fall on top of her." -- Ishmael

"Do you mind?" -- woman underneath Ishmael
"I don't know, do you mind?" -- Ishmael

"You seem to have a broken limb, (the centaur) seems to have a broken limb." -- GM
"Guess we'll have to shoot him, then." -- Ishmael

"I can't heal you. The centaur can, but he's healing himself, right now." -- Hickory
"I just suggested shooting him, I don't think he's going to help me." -- Ishmael

"As the army is descending upon you, we'll pause and let you think." -- GM
"Like that's going to affect Ishmael." -- Lisamarie Babik

"If your King is Random, how do you know who's in charge?" -- Jackie to Moira

"I'll suffocate him with my bosoms!" -- Moira to GM

"I'm so sorry, I thought you were dead." -- Keimo
"You didn't look very hard, did you?" -- Ashlinn
"You're a woman! Do you want me to feel you up in an alley?" -- Keimo

"I got hit by a centaur." -- Ishmael to Aidan and Ulrich
"Did you get his license plate number?" -- Becki Carpenter
"Were you knocked off centaur?" -- Graeme Smith

"He came off the fence and hit me in the head." -- Ishmael to Aidan and Ulrich
"Was he just horsing around?" -- Graeme Smith

"How would you like to have gotten hit by the centaur?" -- Ishmael
"I wouldn't have." -- Moira

"Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting monks." -- Melissa Garber to the group

"They're playing keep-away with the Jewel of Judgment!" -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"As you're moving forward, a big guy with a sword steps out to engage you." -- GM to Ki
"Lucky bastard!" -- Ishmael

"They're moving so fast, you can't hit one without risking hitting the other. Your warfare's just not that good." -- GM
"Yeah, but (Aidan's) a gambling man." -- Kay Lyerly

"There's a red flash, and you have a red jewel in your hand." -- GM to Moira
"Thank God she's not a daughter of Fiona." -- Ishmael

"Moonriders of Gannesh" by Michelle Barney

Cast of Characters

"Any idea that gets me killed is a bad idea. Let's try something else." -- Caine to Brand, Benedict, Corwin, and Eric

"Okay, we need a plan. Get him!" -- the PCs, when confronted by the bad guy

"Powers That Be" by Connie Culpepper

Cast of Characters

"So I guess we have our slut for the campaign." -- Kris Fazzari
"And surprisingly, it isn't one of my characters." -- Kat Lemmer
"Yet." -- Bobby Nichols

"I'll be on time. One mustn't make a bad first impression. I leave that to my relatives." -- Sabrina to GM

"It's worse than Brand, it's Mandor!" -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"We're very private people." -- Siren to Corwin, after publicly introducing her children by Merlin to the entire family at dinner

"Fertility. It's contagious." -- Kris Fazzari
"Yeah, you always get it from somebody else." -- John Karakash

"Well, good parenting consumes so much of your time." -- Siren to Llewella
"And bad parenting takes up so much more." -- Kris Fazzari

"Politics are for people who can't handle reality." -- Melissa to Siren

"(Dworkin's) the guy who stole the eye of the Serpent." -- Evan
"Was the Serpent horribly upset by this?" -- Rheagan

"You beat me on the gossip! You bitch!" -- Aaron to Sabrina

"The fish died." -- Kris Fazzari to the group, referring to how Llewella's daughter Taminth found out that she was pregnant

"I do, I do, they obviously did." -- Blake Moorcroft, imagining Random and Taminth's wedding vows

"By Caine's Request" by Anne Davis

Cast of Characters

"Fiona's better than you at sorcery." -- GM
"That's because she's older. If I was an old, wizened hag, I'd be good at something too." -- Invidia

"Why on earth is strudel involved in this conversation?" -- Invidia to the group

"We're going to have the meeting in the morning room." -- Osiris
"If you have it in the mourning room, they're going to think that Vialle's dead." -- Ishmael

"We can kill them and see if the attacks stop." -- Desmond to the group

"It occurs to me that I'm going to get framed for murder, but I'm not exactly sure that would be a bad thing." -- Kat Lemmer to the group

"It was horrible! They were dead when we got there." -- Ishmael to the group, while hacking Caine's daughters to bits

"Can we fix my owie?" -- Invidia to the group, after getting stabbed in the back

"Were (Caine's daughters) the culprits?" -- Gwendolyn
"I don't think so." -- Osiris
"Now is not the time to be saying that." -- Ishmael

"Riding the Storm Out: Trapped in Shadow" by Earl Bailey

Cast of Characters

"They're alive, you know." -- Francesca
"What, all of those dead people?" -- Arturo

"It's supposed to resist a nuclear attack, and you ain't it." -- Melik en Saben to ?

"On Stranger Tides" by Bobby Nichols

Cast of Characters

"Is Apathea a place or a person?" -- GM to Javier
"It's a city of people who just don't care." -- Melissa Garber

"How can the ship tack without a sail?" -- Alaine
"This is why the situation is strange." -- Nelson

"Looks like he'll never get ahead in life." -- Javier to the group, upon finding the dismembered, beheaded body of a sailor

"It could be gas, it could be Pattern." -- GM to Sinclair

"You knock over the triangular die, and it comes up with a three. Who says there's no dice in Amber?" -- GM to Javier

"Oh great, you've killed Auntie Fiona." -- Javier to Candide

"Kendall is the lazy part of Caine." -- Melissa Garber to the group

"In the Mouth of Madness" by Connie Culpepper and Kat Lemmer

Cast of Characters

"You're felling bad. Yeah, you're going to be sick." -- GM to Flora
"Damn! And I'm going to miss it!" -- Fiona

"The Pattern will Pump You Up!" -- John Karakash to the group

"The Second Coming" by Daric Kozlowski

Cast of Characters

"You look at your glass and you notice ripples forming, like that scene in Jurassic Park." -- GM to Umberto
"Oh no, Gérard is coming." -- Scott Whitney

"Let's put my clothing back on. In case something happens, I'd rather be dressed." -- Gina to GM
"The rats boo." -- Tom DeMayo

"Warning, hazardous hump, do not open." -- Tom DeMayo to the group

"I hold out my hand." -- Gina
"(Gina) seems to be asking for someone to join her (in her Trump attempt)." -- GM
"I put a rat in it." -- Gustav

"What's the psyche of one rat?" -- Gustav to GM

"I need to commit heresy to save the universe." -- Ludwig to the group

"We have the tools, we need the know-how." -- Mark Jass
"You don't have the tools." -- Phredd Groves
"We think we have the tools." -- Mark Jass

"Sleight of Hand" by Connie Culpepper

Cast of Characters

"He had a Kermit moment." -- Melissa Garber to ?, after a mentally unstable Random is seen staring out the window muttering something about it being "green"

"You will talk to that brother of mine! You will tell him that this will stop! This state of affairs must not be allowed to continue! Talk to him!" -- an outraged Julian
"Well, okay...but you're going to have to tell me which brother." -- Slake

"Beasts of Amber" by John Karakash

Cast of Characters

"All the animals are gone, except for some horses who seem to be dead." -- GM
"Oh good, that means they haven't eaten their food yet." -- Tempus

"Why doesn't it surprise me that Corwin's companion is an ass?" -- Brunhild to the other pets

"(Tempus) is trying to lie, that's a sign of intelligence." -- Wendi Strang-Frost to the group

"If we're lucky, maybe (the man) hasn't noticed me, and he'll trip over me." -- Sorcery

"Truly, you are your master's pet." -- Kinta to Tempus

"You're going to piss on the Pattern?" -- Heloise
"How often do you get this opportunity?" -- Red

"Fortunately, you're not on fire." -- GM to Red

"Oberon's going to love Corwin's ass when this is done." -- Lewis Futrell to the group

"It's not too many games where someone dies of ass-phyxiation." -- Huey Hoague to the group

"Quips and Bounds" by Wendi Strang-Frost

Cast of Characters

"Aieeeeeeeeee! I lost my dumb-stick!" -- Ishmael to ?

"...okay, I fly over to the window...." -- Caed, the now-centaur, to ?

"If I get hurt, please don't shoot me." -- Caed to ?

"Oh! So you're Keimo!" -- Graeme Smith to Becki Carpenter
"Lucky dog!" -- Lisamarie Babik

"Have you seen the others?" -- Aidan
"No. You're the first freak-show of the morning." -- Random

"I know you're the bartender now, but who are you really?" -- Alexis
"I'm your brother!" -- Aidan
"Prove it!" -- Alexis
"Have you found mom yet?" -- Aidan, frantically shuffling through the pile of Trumps on the floor

"Moira? Is this you? Did you get blond?" -- Aidan to Moira

"You're a dog!" -- Aidan
"No I'm not." -- Moira
"Yes you are!" -- Aidan
"No! I'm not!" -- Moira
"Denial...it's the first step...next comes anger." -- Lisamarie Babik

"I don't see how your situation is better than mine." -- Ki
"I don't have breasts." -- Rowan

"So far we can talk our way out of this, but as soon as we start killing guards we're going to be in trouble." -- Caed to the group

"Anyone have a Trump of someone on the Disc?" -- Ki
"I do! I do! I do! I do!" -- Moira
"So give it to me." -- Ki
"Well, I don't have it now." -- Moira

"Let's go back to my place, we should be safe there. They think I'm Ki's girlfriend from last night." -- Ki
"Really?" [two thumbs up] "Way to go!" -- Ishmael
"It wouldn't be the first time, you know." -- Ki
[Ishmael cocks his eyebrow.]
"Some women find me very attractive." -- Ki
[Ishmael looks doubtful.]
"Really! They do!" -- Ki

"No matter what your mother's maternal instincts are, if she's throwing grenades at you, there may be something amiss." -- GM to the group

"Aidan's quite disturbed by his cocktail weenie." -- Kay Lyerly to the group

"Oh sure! Yesterday you were King of the Hill with no sleep, and look at you today!" -- GM to Scott Nolan, player of Caed the centaur
"He lost his horse sense." -- Kay Lyerly

"Please tell me you know how to fix this. I've been falling down all day!" -- Looks Twice to ?

"It's about a two-day run from here!" -- Looks Twice
"No! Tell him not to run!" -- Caed

"Uhhh, guys...I think my mom, uhhhh, was maybe, uhhhh, being controlled or something." -- Bastion
"How many grenades did it take to reach this conclusion?" -- Alexis

"The grenade goes off!" -- GM
"Hopefully not right in front of the door!" -- Scott Nolan
"That would definitely be a fire in the hole." -- GM

"What are you going to do now?" -- GM
"LOSE!" -- Alexis

"I use my Stone Bind on her!" -- Rowan
"Okay, Flora crashes over on the floor." -- GM
"Take that, bitch!" -- Rowan

"Who are you?" -- Caed
"Soon to be Master of this place." -- Cedric
"Wrong answer!" -- Caed

"Fly! We've got to get to the throne room quickly!" -- Meander
"No way! I've been watching Rowan smack into the wall all day!" -- Ishmael

"I throw the faerie at Cedric...." -- Moira to GM
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" -- Rowan

"You two, figure this fucking thing out! I want my dick back!" -- Ishmael to Meander and Fiona

"I wasn't in denial about being a dog...I was lying!" -- Becki Carpenter to the group

Random quotes from the Con

"That was the most remarkable display of futile marksmanship I have ever seen." -- Corwin to Benedict, after Benedict tries to bring in some insubstantial bag things

"We've got penguins, we've got water, we've got everything we need to live!" -- Tom ? in Bob ?'s game

"And look at this grass! It doesn't do anything! It's absolutely useless in battle!" -- Becki ?, Melissa ? and Robin ? as Chaosians upon visiting New Amber

"...so is he any good?" -- character in bed with an 18-year-old Benedict
*long pause by GM*
"No." -- GM

"Shouldn't this work?" -- Bob
"How the hell would you know?" -- Dworkin
"Why doesn't this work?" -- Bob
"How the hell would I know?" -- Dworkin

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

  Hellriders have passed through here since October 1, 1999.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Quotes taken by myself, Lisamarie Babik, Connie Culpepper, Melissa Garber, Bobby Nichols and Scott Nolan.

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.