AmberCon Northwest 2002 Quotes

"Big Trouble in Amber City" by Randy Trimmer

A palace coup unseats Prince Regent Gérard while the rest of the family is off fighting in Chaos. You, loyal ranger captains, crown agents and such in Amber City for R & R, really should do something about that, especially since there are warrants out for your arrest. Swashbuckling, knifing in the dark, infiltrating the castle via the sewers, a frontal assault on the castle...the methods are up to you.

Cast of Characters

"I'm going to try and find Gérard, because if he isn't dead yet, then maybe I can help." -- Hans to GM

"And the naked pirate just keeps coming back up." -- Robert Donoghue to the group

"Do you have your other sword?" -- Hans to Rick, interrupting him with two bimbos
"You mean the one that works?" -- Kris Fazzari

"What happened? Are the men brawling?" -- Robert, Zenobia's second-in-command
"Something much more serious." -- Zenobia
"They've run out of beer." -- Kris Fazzari

"Are (the approaching men) dressed officially, or as a mob?" -- Rick to GM

"Once again, we saved the day." -- Sabine
"And more important, I didn't get hurt." -- Istvan

"Fratricide" by Paul Marshall

In the aftermath of the Patternfall war, Random took regency over Amber for almost six months before a battered old man limped out of Shadow. That man was Oberon, previously believed to be dead. Albeit grudgingly, Random returned the Jewel of Judgement and gave up his throne to his father.

Many years passed and Oberon regained some of his former might but never quite seemed the unholy terror that his children remembered him to be.

One morning, Oberon declared that he was going to abdicate and that his eldest living son, Benedict, was to be his heir apparent. That was six days ago. Immediately after the announcements, Oberon decided to take a week's holiday and promptly disappeared into Shadow, leaving instructions that preparations for Benedict's coronation should be made in his absence.

It is the evening before Oberon is due to return and preparations are in their final throes. All Benedict's living brothers and sisters are in or around Castle Amber in anticipation of tomorrow's coronation.

Cast of Characters

"Random took regency over Amber for nearly six months before a battered old man limped out of Shadow. That man was Oberon." -- GM to the group, reading out the background info to set the tone of the game
"Boo! Hssss!" -- John Randall

"What, two snipers? Is there a grassy knoll here?" -- Caine to ?

"Why are there two Caines?" -- Corwin to ?
"Because one just wasn't enough?" -- John Randall

"I'll answer that question the moment the GM turns around." -- Corwin to ?

"(The guards) are going to take (Benedict's) body to the infirmary?" -- GM
"Oh yes. I'm not going to haul his dead ass around." -- Corwin

"Free Rebma!" by Jeremy Zimmerman

"I will not give you troops to assault Amber. As you know, the chaos would be reflected in my own realm."

- Moire, Nine Princes in Amber

During what later came to be called the Patternfall War, a Black Road stretched from the Courts of Chaos to Amber, bringing the Lords of Chaos to do battle with the royal family of Amber. However, during this struggle, few had time to notice that Rebma faced its own problems with a Black Current bringing Tritons against Rebma.

While Amber ultimately fought off the armies of Chaos, Rebma did not fare as well, and came under the dominion of King Lir. The Royal Court of Rebma fled to exile within Amber, and have spent many years living under the Regency of Prince Gérard, seeking a way to reclaim their lands from the Tritons.

And to this end, they seek out those who are willing to aid them....

Cast of Characters

"She said she didn't care, so long as the King was dead and she could walk back in here. If that means a crater of smoking ruins, I'll vote for it." -- Garwin to ?
<followed later by>
"Well, that'll teach the Queen to give us better instructions." -- Garwin

"The Merry Wives of Oberon" by Jennifer Crice

Loved or despised, desired or cast aside, the women of Oberon each had a hand in shaping the future of the One True City. Each knew of the ones before her, and a few knew of the ones that came after - but years and circumstance kept them mostly apart - until something went wrong.

Join your fellow wives in an adventure to preserve the past so that the future might happen - or perhaps that YOUR particular view of the future might prevail....

Cast of Characters

"Oberon is a loving and attentive husband." -- GM
"Not that attentive." -- Cymnea

"It's good to see that (at least Gérard) is learning some manners after their mother ignored their education so shamefully." -- Harla to GM
"It's easy to see why she's such a big hit with Caine and Julian." -- Kris Fazzari

"You can hear (the woman) talking, but you can't hear what she's saying." -- GM to Dybele
"That's pretty standard for Dybele." -- Todd Worrell

"I collapse, and arrange my dress artfully." -- Dybele to GM

"I'm going home, where is my home?" -- Dybele
"How should I know? I don't know who you are." -- Faiella

"I don't see so well." -- Dybele to Faiella
"What are you, blind?" -- Kris Fazzari
"I'm blonde." -- Todd Worrell

"Oh dear, you shouldn't be out in public, someone will see you like that." -- Dybele to a very pregnant Paulette

"I'm the Queen of Amber. I'm married to Oberon." -- Faiella
"I think you left your special jacket at home. The one with the arms...." -- Dybele

"Where I come from, prostitutes keep it mostly hidden." -- Dybele, looking at the naked Moins
"Where I come from, only prostitutes wear clothes." -- Moins

"Whatever! You guys just make up your minds and tell me what to do." -- Dybele
"So that's why (Oberon) married her." -- Harla

"We Happy Few" by Rob Donoghue, Lydia Leong and Fred Hicks

Before going off to battle the unknown in Chaos, the Elders have drawn their children out of hiding and into the safety of Amber. Now, under the Regency of Gérard, these children have the opportunity to prove their mettle against Amber's enemies, within and without.

Cast of Characters

"Gérard is a scary mo-fo on the battlefield. He's basically wearing a metal stove, and his mace is much like someone stuck a stick on a fireplug." -- GM Rob to ?

"You get, well, there's no two ways around it.... You get chewed to pieces." -- GM Rob to ?

"The Hand.... Little is known about this figure, save that it's me...." -- Nathan, leader of the Underworld, to ?, reading the description from the handout

"My name is crap! Everyone hates me! Oh, wait, Gérard is beginning to like me.... But everyone hates Gérard! Ahww." -- GM Fred to the group, speaking for Fel

"I hear Sam's forces are occupying the castle. I am going to check this out post haste." -- Pasha
"I hadn't heard that...." -- GM Fred
"GMs!" -- GM Rob sends up the call from across the room, followed by a muttering GM conference
"When even the GMs can't keep up with the conspiracies...." -- Lisa Soto
"Sam!" -- GMs
"Bad cowboy!" -- GM Fred

"Is anyone taking steps to make sure no messenger gets to Gérard?" - GM Rob
"I own the fucking Equerry!" - Answydd, gleefully

"Amid the horses roiling around Sam--one rears up and takes the bullet--at least you think it was a horse, until you see the pure, white horn...." -- GM Rob to Parry, who's shooting to kill Sam from a far hill

"That was the Unicorn!" -- ranger
"It wasn't!" -- Parry
"Sir, I was with Julian! I've seen it! That was the Unicorn!" -- ranger
"Oh, shit." -- Idichi

"Do you think you can (shoot Gérard) in the knees?" -- Hyla
"Well, they're big enough." -- Nathan

"(Random) rolls you over, stands on your chest, sword at your throat. 'So, that's my brother. Drugged. Shackled, and bandaged. One might suspect foul play.'" -- GM to Idichi

"Yeah. No. No, I'm fucking king now, so get your ass here." -- Random Trumping Julian in Chaos

"You got horses I can steal?" -- Random
"Yeah?" -- Idichi
"Good. 'Cause I'm fucking king." -- Random

"Who are you?" -- Random
"My name is..." -- Pasha, all psyched, because he never got to tell anyone his full name all game
"Where's the castle?" -- Random
"...You can call me Pasha for short." -- Pasha

"I'm sure there was a castle here when I left." -- Random
"An attack of Chaosite worms ate the foundations. It has been collapsed for 50 years." -- Pasha
"Are you a drinking man, Pasha?" -- Random
"Are you?" -- Pasha
"I think I might start." -- Random
"Here." -- Pasha, tossing him a flask

"Out of the Frying Pan (Out of the Woods 2)" by Sara Mueller

Luke of Kashfa and Valentine of Eregnor are to be married, cementing an alliance that might well alter the balance of power in the Golden Circle. Not only is Luke one of the foster-sibs, but your elders have very seriously 'suggested' that you attend. It's only a wedding, after all. What could possibly go wrong?

Cast of Characters

"You march into Benedict's brain like it has a revolving door." -- GM to Siren

"You misunderstand the dynamic of our relationship." -- Siren to the demon trapped in the jar she's holding

"They just said, 'Be Benedict, kill his family, eat them.' It sounded like a good gig." -- demon to Desdemona

"Of all my relatives, you're the only one I don't think is going to screw me, other than possibly my wife." -- Brand to Luke

"When your dad is your great-great-grandfather, something is just wrong." -- Kris Fazzari
"It's all relative." -- Emma Sansone

"It's a whole new world." -- Anneke Floor
"It's an ironic world. Caine was nearly killed by poison." -- Murray Writtle

"In Silence Comes but a Whisper" by Dana Bayer

Breakfast began quite unfavorably, the news spreading that King Oberon was found dead in his room. But as strangeness creeps into the castle as the day continues, it becomes just one more mystery to add to the list.

Cast of Characters

"Julian walks back in the room, with a smug look on his face." -- GM
"He always has a smug look on his face." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"Oh, huz-zah, Bleys, that must be one of your finest efforts ever. It's almost as if you had planned for this." -- Julian, commenting on Bleys' funeral attire
"I'm prepared for every eventuality!" -- Bleys
"He's wearing a 'Smile! The king is dead!' button...." -- GM

"Imagine you'd found that out about your father." -- Sean McGuinness to the group, after the investigation of Oberon's rooms turns up a whole lot of leather...things
"Then imagine your father was Oberon." *pause* "Eeeeeugh. No need to add any more horror to this game." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"Sean? You really need to work on your whole sort of...tact thing?" -- Louisa Djerbib
"Tact? I'm playing Bleys!" -- Sean McGuinness

"My god! I had this really weird dream.... It didn't have sex in it!" -- Bleys to the group

"We're all fucked up! We put on this net-thing, and now we're all fucked up! ...Want to put on the net-thing?" -- Julian to the group, mocking the other elders

"Oh, that sucks, and she's not here...." -- GM
"What?" -- Linda Cottrell
"The two characters with the most good stuff aren't in the battle!" -- GM
"What do you think good stuff is for?!" -- Madeline Ferwerda and Sean McGuinness

"Why the fuck are we fighting you?" *Whack!* "What's this all about?!" *Cut!* "Let's talk this out!" *Slice!* -- Elsinore to a big bad guy, in the midst of hacking chunks off of him

"Shadow Walk: Beyond the Brambles continued" by Eric Todd

Catherine, your mother, cried noble tears the day you and your siblings stepped beyond the sheltered shoal of your youth. Wandering through the labyrinth into the wider world, you strummed the strings of Shadow and found Amber; found hints of your father, Corwin; found strange reflections of your childhood realm. What truths will you find, when you next walk the Shadows?

Cast of Characters

"I look for a good place to land." -- Maggie, falling 900 feet
"Rock, rock, (giant) snake. If you were to land on the snake's back, that might be better." -- GM

"Climb on my back." -- giant spider controlled by Fiona
"I think our ride's here." -- Leopold

"(Fiona's) not all angular, she's kind of soft and cushy." -- GM to the group
"She must have eaten recently." -- Kris Fazzari

"Trial and Tribulations" by Murray Writtle and Andy Ransom

Julian is dead, allegedly murdered by Corwin, and with an important Chaos delegation in town, justice must be seen to be done....

So Random (advised by Dworkin) orders a trial using the guidelines set down by Oberon centuries before.

Cast of Characters

"Just one final question, please, Fiona.... When you and Merlin were walking down forty flights of stairs to the Pattern room, did you, or did you not, find the SQUEAKY STEP?!" -- Gérard

"Use of Weapons" by Rob Haight

While you have all respected and feared Benedict's passion for military science, no one of you has really understood his relentless drive to master all things martial. However, when Benedict is ordered by Oberon to attack Chaos, you detect a frightening change in his demeanor. With great trepidation, you feel you might soon learn more about Benedict that one might wish.

Cast of Characters

"And (Benedict) gives a kind of Bleys smile. One of those smiles that when Bleys smiles it, insurance rates tend to go up." -- GM to ?

"Do we have any old records of..." -- Bleys
"No." -- GM

"(Benedect) was just a wee lad when Osric died...." -- Dworkin to ?
"What is a wee lad? Has this come up before? Am I a wee lad?" -- Bleys

"Benedict is but a pale shadow of his brothers." -- Dworkin to ?
"Ok, that's new...." -- Camille Holthaus

"Yeah, actually, send Corwin a copy (of Dworkin's Chaosian Autopsy reports). He's probably still a little miffed about that whole captured, eyes-burned-out thing." -- Bleys to ?

"And I really don't want to meet Flora's Chaos form. Probably has grenades for fingernails." -- Camille Holthaus
"Things just melt around her." -- GM

"Ok, I'm trying to call Bleys." -- Gérard
"Bleys?" -- GM to Bleys
"You're hunting Brand. You get a Trump call...." - Madeline Ferwerda

"Am I sure this is the same Benedict?" -- Gérard
"Everyone's taking his orders, and that's the important thing...." -- GM

"Then, as fast as physically possible, without prior tensing, I change my hand into a razor knife and slash (Brand's) throat." -- Caine
"It works...." -- GM, bemused
"Then I pin him to the ground with my sword through his heart, because I don't trust the throat to kill him." -- Caine
"Now I have to decide how cool Brand really is." -- GM

"Then I turn the Trump so he can see what I have. 'I believe it's the real one. Would you like to come pick up your trash?'" -- Caine to Oberon, regarding the skewered Brand

"Dworkin, can you trace where that went to?" -- Bleys, after Brand uses the Trump contact to grab the Jewel from Oberon and escapes
"'I cannot,' he says. Oberon breathes heavily for a bit, and then says, 'I can. But it takes for-frigging-ever.'" -- GM

"You really hurt him. And his feelings." -- GM to Caine, letting him know how the Brand thing sorted out

"His sword is good for lighting things on fire." -- Benedict to ?, speaking of how Bleys will be useful in the war against Chaos
"Well, this is damaging to my ego, so I think I'll break it off." -- Bleys

"He suggests that you might want to talk to Caine, who apparently had (Brand) and lost him." -- GM to Bleys, regarding tracking Brand
"Do you really want to talk to Caine about something that didn't work?" -- Camille Holthaus

"Well, how much blood are we talking about, here?" -- Bleys
"I dunno, perhaps a person's worth?" -- Fiona

"And you...." -- GM, asking Bleys where he is
"Keep?" -- Bleys
"Oh, yes, the running furiously away." -- GM

"(Brand) looks, you know, relatively surprised as the first four or five (arrows) hit...." -- GM to ?

"Can I hit the Jewel itself with the arrow? It's probably not going to hurt it.... No, wait, here he reconsiders." -- Bleys to GM

"Father. Well, I shot (Brand) a few times...." -- Bleys
"Large caliber, I hope." -- Oberon
"No, arrows, but 12 of them." -- Bleys
"It's a start." -- Oberon

"I have a theory as to why (Benedict's) acting weird, so it doesn't unnerve me." -- Caine
"He does English jigs every once in a while, for no reason you can see. He tells jokes...." -- GM
"Ok, that unnerves me." -- Caine
"They're not funny." -- GM, helpfully clarifying

"Have you seen my brother? I believe he might have been wounded...." -- Bleys to ?, looking for Brand

"There will be a funeral for my...late brother Brand. All we have of him is his head; it's in there on a tray." -- Bleys to the castle steward
"His eyes are getting progressively larger...." -- GM

"Could this not be handled as an intra-family matter?" -- steward
"We're not so good for finding coffins, arranging funerals.... That's why we employ people." *pat* *pat* "Buck up, man." -- Bleys

"Your sons are about to kill each other. Do you wish to intercede?" -- Caine
"Which sons?" -- Oberon

"Oh, yeah, Bleys absolutely agrees that Oberon is a worthless bastard; the only good thing about him is that he's holding the universe together." -- Bleys to ?

"Amber is interesting. It is different from the land of my birth. I like it. If it disappeared, I would move on." -- Dworkin
"Better start packing." -- Bleys

"I think (Oberon) respects me more than the rest of you, for actually standing up to him." -- Bleys
"You would." -- Llewella

"There are an abundance of Hendrakes in the main command encampment." -- GM
"Well, hopefully none of them will hold a grudge about me and Fiona stabbing them in the back." -- Bleys
"None of them gives you a second glance. They give you some long first glances, but...." -- GM

"Dreams of the Many, and the One" by Cort Odekirk

Amber decays and the Shadows boil, the One Boy comes and has made his intentions clear. Can you, as the Elder Amberites, solve the mystery and face the choices that must be made?

Cast of Characters

"Speaking of things that should not be, I need to speak with you." -- Bleys
"Outside?" -- GM
"Yes." -- Bleys
"OK. Let the betrayals begin!" -- GM
"'Let the betrayals begin' -- that would be Bleys' job." -- Randy Trimmer

"You want a tree of desire?" -- GM
"Something that won't make a statement." -- Benedict
"If there's no one in the woods, does your tree of desire still make a statement?" -- GM

"I've reached Arden, and I found it a bit...inconsistent." -- Julian
"Oh, yes, I've noticed that." -- Fiona
"No, you haven't been here today, you're just pretending you know what I'm talking about." -- Julian

[Benedict exits a fierce battle with uncannily strong creatures, carrying along the head of one. Upon closer examination, it becomes clear that it's full of straw, there are seams in the back, and its big googly eyes are plastic.]
"Shall I have that mounted for you?" -- Julian to Benedict

"I'll have to get in touch with Caine. Benedict was also seeking the source of the wave, and he was ambushed. By Muppets." -- Julian to Random

"Muppets." -- Benedict, after the Trump call ends
"Yes." -- Julian
"Leave it up to you to choose such an elegant term." -- Benedict
"I had to choose something that Random would understand." -- Julian

"Benedict was ambushed by Muppets while hellriding towards the source of the wave, and then he went to join Caine on the same mission, to avoid further ambushes." -- Julian
"Muppets." -- Bleys
"'Yes.' (Julian) does not crack. I'm cracking, but he does not crack." -- Madeline Ferwerda, through giggles

"GM needs a potty break! Chat amongst yourselves. Topic: Destruction of all reality." -- GM to the group

"I'm going to look at the Primal Pattern through the Jewel." -- Random
"It looks like the Primal Pattern, through a red filter." -- GM

"Weird." -- Benedict, evaluating the Muppet army
"Children's toys." -- Caine
"Yeah, you notice that. Benedict never really had a childhood." -- GM to Caine

"I suppose I should apologize." -- Julian, after his Trump call awakens Random from a great X-rated dream
"Yes. Now, what've you got?" -- Random
"Offer made, understood." -- Tracie Michlin

"Where one falls, many survive." -- GM
"Huh. That's a really forest-y metaphor." -- Julian
"Julian likes it. He doesn't understand it, but he likes it." -- GM

"Target Amber 2 continued" by Tim Hart

Further toil and trouble in the real world, which has discovered just how many other real worlds there are out there, and just how much more real some of them are than here.

Cast of Characters

"I'll mark 'second team deployed' (on the wall), to encourage team three (when they're sent to find us)." -- Microft to GM

"(Archer's) our psychologist and he's paranoid. That should tell you something (about this group)." -- Robert Haight to the group

"Neither Interested Nor Fit" by Sara Mueller

...but the Jewel of Judgement was shattered in the repair of the Pattern, and there was no hope that the children of Oberon would survive the massive storm which swept down on them through Shadow; but Princesses Fiona, Llewella, and Flora joined their efforts together and parted the world storm. In the aftermath, Fiona became Queen of Chaos, and Flora was made Queen of Amber. Llewella walked the worlds between, and kept the peace.

One hundred and fifty years have passed since Patternfall. You are the Speakers of The Law, sworn to no country, no queen. Some call you Llewella's Hounds. You ride the Between Lands from Black Zone to Golden Circle, and you keep peace. Llewella has summoned you to headquarters. She has a special assignment for you.

Cast of Characters

"(Caine) has the piracy problem well in hand." -- GM
"That's because he's one of the pirates." -- Kris Fazzari

"Killing people's always a good way to get power." -- Nathan
"It disturbs me that you say that like you know." -- Saris

"Oh my God, I have all the PCs in one room!" -- GM
"Actually, I was just about to leave." -- Fagan

"Nine Princes on Olympus" by James Mueller

Amber as myth, characters as gods. The sons and daughters of Oberon are the divine subjects of legend. From high on the sacred mountain, they indulge in their rivalries and wars, their celebrations and secrets, their romances and tragedies. To be immortal is to be larger than life....

Cast of Characters

"These mortals, they amaze me. They see that they're going to die, but they still get up in the morning and go." -- Brand
"That's because I scare the hell out of them." -- Benedict/Death

"Purgatory is not supposed to be this active place. You're supposed to be bored. What the hell is going on here? ...No pun intended." -- Benedict to ?

"Perhaps we should send the body back to Brand to be analyzed--and then barbecued." -- Corwin to ?, after a Great Stag is mysteriously found dead

"Hm. I want to interpret her dream, give her some insight. Do I have any insight? Or should I just make stuff up?" -- Brand to ?

"Your sword is bigger than most people's yachts...." -- GM to Gérard

"You feel an extra little thrill of adrenaline as Corwin sings his inspirational song...." -- GM to ?
"Go Gérard! Go Gérard! Yah yah yah!" -- John Randall, in a falsetto
"Mental image of Corwin with pom-poms.... Thank you, no." -- Pol Jackson

"Ok, so it's no longer attacking me?" -- Gérard
"Being disemboweled really took the fight out of it." -- GM

"You see them...War, Knowledge and the Moon, moving across the landscape...." -- GM to ?
"That sounds kind of dangerous...." -- Kevin Seeber
"What, as opposed to Death, Art and Strength?" -- Lee Short

"Well, I don't know what you guys are going to do, but I'm going home." -- Benedict, as a great threat approaches
"Home? You are home! Olympus! Home of the gods! Of which you are one!" -- Gérard

"I think I'll sit this one out. I probably don't want to be on the losing side, because then I would lose." -- Benedict
"Yeah...?" -- GM

"It was heads!" -- Corwin, coming in from a secret hall conference with Deirdre about whether or not to defect

"You feel it wash over--quiet, lassitude, peace--you shake it off pretty quick." -- GM
"I'd think my cloak would sluff that off." -- Benedict
"Your innate nature tends to sluff that off." -- GM

"You've got him hanging off the edge...." -- GM, coming back to the <heh> cliffhanger
"Yield!" -- Gérard
"Never! I will never yield!" -- sworn enemy of Gérard
"I drop him." -- Gérard

"Will you stop that incessant breathing!" -- Sara Mueller to ?, describing real-life pregnancy quotes

"I ended the evening behind the bar, masturbating with one of my plants, because there just was something that was still unfulfilled...." -- Camille Holthaus, discussing Cort Odekirk's "A Comfy Night's Stay at the Happy Crossroads Inn" game
"...Waaaay too much information." -- Rob Haight

AmberCon Northwest

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

  Hellriders have passed through here since March 1, 2003.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from AmberCon Northwest 2002 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself, Jennifer Decker and Madeline Ferwerda.

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.