AmberCon North 2002 Quotes

"The Dying of the Light" by Tymen VanDyk and Mark Richardson

"And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light." - Dylan Thomas

Dworkin lies upon his death bed and as he fades so too does the Pattern. As the last evening comes upon you and all has been done that can be done to postpone the inevitable. What will you, the Children of Amber, do as the End of everything you know comes upon you? Will you settle old scores? Will you reach for the stars that one last time or will you plunge into the depths of despair?

Will you rage against the dying of the light?

Cast of Characters

"I Trump Fiona, because that's what you always do when something weird happens." -- Flora to the group

"Tir-na Nog'th Report" by Craig Sparling

What if the prophecies of Tir-na Nog'th really come true?
What if watching and monitoring the prophecies of Tir-na Nog'th can save Amber and the King?
What if those same prophecies pronounce that you and your cousins are archtraitors and assassins?

You and your cousins are nephews and nieces to Amber's "Dread Lord" King Random, once trusted generals, ambassadors, and ministers, but now you are fugitives fleeing for your lives to a distant land. How can you get there and save your life, your reputation and Amber while you have to escape your uncles and aunts, dragons, armies and hellhounds?

What if your survival awaits you?

Cast of Characters

"Son of Caine. Deceased. That's how I like my parents. My Amberite parents." -- Conrad Rogers to the group

"Juliana, it's time for you to show up in the robing room." -- GM
"The rubber room?" -- Kris Fazzari, mishearing

"I'm sensing a pattern." -- Kris Fazzari, as the group wanders around Tir-na Nog'th
"That would be below us." -- Rick Garman

"(The med tech) gives everyone an injection, unless you object." -- GM
"To drugs? No!" -- Fletcher

"So what we've seen will happen." -- Fletcher
"Yes. Unless it doesn't." -- Sam
"Random must love your reports." -- Fletcher
"Why yes, because they're random." -- Cayle

"Out of curiosity, what's the standard procedure when we see something like Random being shot?" -- Sam to GM

"Things do taste better in Amber." -- Nathaniel
"Yes, the one true Lobster Fest." -- GM

"You said that when I contacted (Julian) I felt something demonic?" -- Juliana
"Not demonic. Merely bestial." -- GM

"Someone's stuffing gruel down your throat. It's OK, it's gentle." -- GM to Cayle

"You feel invigorated, and it's not just the gruel." -- GM to Cayle
"It's new caffeinated gruel." -- Bill Gulstad

"(Roland's) attacking a port town with a rowboat? Even with my warfare, I might not see that coming." -- Nathaniel to the group

"Now that I can communicate, I tell (the peasant) that this has all been a misunderstanding, and that I'm Nathaniel's cousin." -- Roland to GM, while surrounded by the bodies of most of the local populace

"Well, if I can't even move, I'm not sure I can scream, but I suppose that would come naturally at this moment." -- Fletcher to GM, while being bitten by a vampiric Corwin

"I'm going to Trump Luke." -- Sam to GM
"Tell him to use the Force." -- Conrad Rogers

"(Fletcher) pats Nathaniel on the back. He giggles." -- GM to Cayle
"I do not!" -- Nathaniel

"I've lost a lot of blood. I need some help." -- Fletcher
"Don't take it from me." -- Cayle
"I'm fresh out of straws." -- Fletcher

"You have to be gruel to be kind." -- Conrad Rogers to the group

"As the Real World Turns" by Kirt A. Dankmyer

You know, with Oberon dead, that injunction against sleeping with one's sister is technically no longer in effect....

Yes, kiddies, get out your twisted sense of humor and your sense of melodrama. This is the Amberite Soap Opera. Betrayals, weeping, and a lot of sleeping around, even among the men. Play your favorite Elder Amberite however you like (stats will be pregenerated, tho only somewhat relevant).

Cast of Characters

"How did (Deirdre) manage to get Corwin off (her) back?" -- Rebekah Morales to BriAnne Searles
"She turned over." -- Kris Fazzari

"There's someone rummaging around in Merlin's quarters." -- guard
"Oh no, he'll get Merlin's porn!" -- Bleys

"(Bleys) is wearing bright orange flashy pants." -- Sean McCabe
"Ziggy Stardust Bleys." -- Rebekah Morales

"Let's just go to my room for now." -- Bleys to ?
"You've heard that before..." -- Kris Fazzari

"A, this is not your room, B, you have a slight case of death. But aside from that, I'm happy to see you." -- Bleys to Brand

"I'm Deirdre, you're Brand. I wrestle you down and get your thing. Your tentacle thing." -- BriAnne Searles to Rebekah Morales

"Bleys says 'Hey'. Then he looks up to see who you are." -- Sean McCabe to Kris Fazzari, describing how Bleys greets a topless Llewella

"You do notice the Pattern is pulsing more strongly." -- GM to Fiona?
"Come on, baby, walk me!" -- Kris Fazzari

"Let's take (Brand) back to the Pattern, make him walk it, and see what happens." -- Fiona
"That's your solution to everything." -- Deirdre

"Deirdre's very flexible. That's what Corwin told me." -- Llewella to the group

"Nice try, but I'm not Julian. Or your brother." -- Dworkin to Fiona, after she flashes him

"So you guys are busy giving Brand a makeover?" -- GM to Bleys and Llewella

"We have to dye (Brand's) hair - ALL of his hair. It wouldn't do to not have the carpet match the drapes." -- Llewella to the group

"We don't live in your toilet, please don't pee in our city." -- Sean McCabe to the group, musing on where Rebmans go to the bathroom

"Is someone else going to have sex with Dworkin to save the world? Why does that always happen?" -- Sean McCabe to the group

"Dude, Where's My Jewel of Judgment?" by Sean McCabe

Random and Gérard awake after a night of partying to discover that the Jewel of Judgment, which they borrowed from Oberon, is missing. They and the rest of the teenaged elders go off on a wacky satiric adventure to find the Jewel.

Cast of Characters

"Dude! Chicks from Rebma don't have to breathe air!" -- Randy to ?

"Can I...help...you?" -- Llewella, having sex
"Just don't hang up!" -- Randy

"I was gonna go find the Jewel, but then I got high.
I was gonna walk the Pattern, too, but I got high.
Now I'm stuck in Chaos, and I know why.
Because I got high. Because I got high. Because I got high." -- G-Man to the group

"Why?" -- Didi, asking her question of the psychic bong
"Why?" -- GM
"Why." -- Didi
"You just hurt the bong's mind." -- GM

"Fi's pants fall down." -- GM
"Dude...Hello Kitty?" -- G-Man

"Go get Gérard!" -- Randy
"I'm not an idiot." -- Bong
"But I am!" -- Randy

"Follow the Sentient Bong." -- Steve Topp to the group, to the tune of "Follow the Yellow Brick Road"

"Ambiguously Gay Corwin." -- GM to the group

"Corwin, what are you doing that made my ass burn?" -- Randy

"I'm ambiguously gay, thank you." -- Corey
"And the sky is ambiguously blue." -- Randy

"I sheathe my sword." -- Bleys to GM
"What do you sheathe it in?" -- Liz Wilson
"Fiona." -- BriAnne Searles

"I use my Random Ass Ability." -- Randy to GM

"I think I have a higher warfare than the water. So I run across it." -- Randy
"But you don't have a higher warfare than physics." -- GM

"I pants her and cut her head off." -- Randy
"I don't think you should've pantsed her first, but..." -- GM

"Here, There, and Everywhere" by Rae Williams

Previously run at GenCon 2001 & Ambercon 2002. I tried to come up with a description for the game for Ambercon and failed. Three months later, I'm no closer to coming up with a description. The 1st part of the game is rather silly, but it really gets serious, I promise. Trust me, you'll have fun.

Cast of Characters

"I look at Gérard, blink, and put on sunglasses, because I can't stand his shirt." -- Amarís to GM, after laying eyes on Gérard's very loud Hawaiian shirt

"Okay, it's jailhouse rules time. Gérard, bend over." -- Ian Ng to the group

"You find yourself on the ground under Amarís." -- GM
"All things considered, not a bad place to be." -- Kincaid

"On Her Majesty's Secret Service 4: The Man with the Golden Sword" by J.P. Brannan

Once again Queen Moire has called upon her Secret Service to sort things out. But will even the elite agents of the Gemini Section, licensed to kill or be killed in the line of duty, be able to stop a scheme this far-reaching?

Cast of Characters

"So if I want my balls to be smart I have to make them able to speak?" -- Octavian to GM

"I don't need to pick locks, I just blow them up. I don't even need to use my pants anymore." -- Octavian to the group

"Octavian is wearing a suit and eight pairs of pants. Just in case." -- Sean McCabe to GM

"Do I have to keep a running count of my pants now?" -- Octavian to GM

"Let's check your warfare." -- GM
"It's recently been updated. It's not sucky anymore, just really bad." -- Octavian

"I finish my report before I seduce the chambermaid and implant things in her." -- Octavian to the group

"So the horse says they went out riding in Arden?" -- Agent M
"That's what the horse thinks. Straight from the horse's mouth." -- GM

"I get kicked in the balls a lot, and my balls keep exploding. This is why I have an extra hard ball." -- Octavian
"So you only have one extra hard ball?" -- GM
"Yes. The other ball's normal." -- Octavian

"18." -- GM
"What's that?" -- Octavian
"That's the warfare of the person you're attacking expressed as a multiple of yours." -- GM

"Morpheus Calling" by James Arnoldi

"Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you can feel it. You've felt it your entire life. Something is wrong with the world. You don't know what, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind, it's driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I am talking about?" You've been denied your birthright, kept a prisoner in your own mind. The true world awaits you and Morpheus has shown you the door. Swallow the red pill.

Cast of Characters

"Although the prospect of travel is inviting, it sounds much more interesting to be pursued by an African madman." -- Sherlock Holmes to GM

"You feel yourself melt down into the black, demonic ooze." -- GM
"I hate it when that happens." -- Thing with 1,000 Tongues

"You think these things subsist on pure hate." -- GM
"So maybe I can hurt them by sending them my love." -- Leeloo
"I'll send them my love in the form of bolts of energy." -- Aeryn Sun

"The nice thing is, they can never unhorse me." -- Chastrea, the centaur, to the group

"Run faster, run faster!" -- Rygel
"I'm doing that, what's behind us? No, don't tell me." -- Korben Dallas

"Unto the Third Generation" by D.J. Quinn

Two thousand years have passed since the death of Oberon. His children, those that survive, have created Houses in their own likeness. King Random has been gone for some time, but his descendants still hold the throne of The First City. Some houses stand with this, others stand against, albeit quietly. Then there are those who owe allegiance to no house, who travel Shadow in search of...well, whatever they search for, what they find could destroy the foundations of Amber, or return it to greatness.

Cast of Characters

"House Gérard is pretty much a boy's locker room." -- GM to ?

"The Pattern is easy, after the first ten steps." -- GM
"James, son of Random, can tell you - also known as Crispy Jim." -- Matt Andrews

"A note appears in each of your hands." -- GM to ?
"Members of House Deirdre get a lot of notes." -- Matt Andrews

"You can see organs, but they're covered by clothing. This is someone who is obviously not comfortable wearing clothes, and sees them as something you have to wear to keep people from seeing things they don't want to." -- Nikki Gustas, describing Shara
"Like your spleen." -- BriAnne Searles

"I'm just imagining what House Flora's rejects are like - the guy who doesn't know what the fourth fork is for." -- Sol Foster to the group

"Which one of you knew Martin better?" -- Tandra
"Who?" -- Cinder

"Always thinking two steps ahead." -- Faris to the group
"My two steps are behind Faris." -- Valentine

"Well, except for the dying girl." -- Jennifer Woelke to the group
"I'm getting better!" -- Ophelia

"The Bloody Grievance: Destiny" by R.F. McCaughey

Your father, Oberon, is a determined man carving a kingdom out of a beautiful wild country. In the Restless Sea, Oberon's ally and best friend, Lir, is gathering the Lost Sea-Tribes of the Athanor. On Kolvir, foundations for a stronger, grander fortification are underway. In the forested range of western mountains, the marauding Dragon, Arden, makes forays into the outlying villages of Amber.

Now the strange artist, Dworkin, arrives weeping blood from his left eye and warns your family, "They have found us," before he collapses.

Strange banners coil on every horizon as Amber is surrounded and cutoff from Shadow. House Nemirab has come to collect on an old Grievance.

Amber won the Parlay Battle and the 777 days of peace are over. Who will stand before the power of Chaos?

Cast of Characters

"Lir is the Head of the Council of the Athanor, except that the Council hardly ever meets and don't like to talk to each other." -- GM to the group

"I want to take a non-wrinkly character." -- James Arnoldi to GM, after hearing a description of Morgenstern's elephant-like skin

"The flyers are all VIPs." -- GM to the group
"Very Important Targets." -- Sol Foster

"The Chaosians introduce themselves first. This takes three hours." -- GM
"I just spent three days studying Dworkin's urine. This is nothing." -- Lilith

"One down." -- Prowl to the group, after the loser of a staring contest with her shoots himself in the head
"499,999 to go." -- Kris Fazzari

"So (my opponent's) dead." -- Morgenstern
"He's not moving." -- GM
"Good enough." -- Morgenstern

"If we could find where (Oberon) has hidden the Eye, the Tongue and the Heart...." -- Dworkin to Morgenstern
"And the ear, the nose and the throat." -- Kris Fazzari
"And the spleen!" -- Liz Trumitch

"It all rests on you young people." -- Dworkin to Morgenstern and Basque
"We are so dead." -- Lilith

"I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to drink, and swim in my lava, and screw you all." -- Yazabel to GM, explaining how she's preparing for the upcoming battle

"Everyone usually does mean everyone, but I haven't been everyone since forever." -- Dworkin to Morgenstern

"We could vote." -- Basque to the group, on how to decide who will be King of Amber

Rules to live by in the Bloody Grievance world:

1. Ritual and Tradition are All
2. Chaosian promotion is quick, usually over the corpse of a dishonorable superior officer
3. Never apologize to a Chaosian
4. A duel can settle any problem
5. Common language breeds uncommon misunderstanding
6. Never stick a freshly forged Greyswandir in the soil of Amber
7. Always avoid the unstoppable dragon, Arden
8. Don't transfer Dworkin's wounds onto self

"Shadow Over Slave Labour" by Matt Andrews and Elissa Ayadi

Based both on Zelazny's Lonesome Night in October and the TBR game "Shadow Over Amber," this game features many of the characters from the Slave Labour Graphics universe of comics, including Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Filler Bunny, Lenore, and the cast of Gloom Cookies.

Knowledge of Slave Labour a must.

"KILL! Kill them all!" -- Zim
"Do you have Tourette's or something?" -- Devi

"Blaze of Glory: More Trouble Than A Raven" by Sol Foster

For months the Guard have fruitlessly searched for the cards that were taken from Bleys while he was imprisoned. Now there are odd rumors from the American Northwest: the trickster god Raven has returned. Could there be a connection?

Cast of Characters

"By torture, you mean recruit, right?" -- Cyrano to Jayne

"I have to talk to (my men) to get them to die for me." -- Jayne to the group

"Great, (the Muckleshoot) have someone like me there." -- Jayne
"He didn't say they had committed genocide over there. Then they'd have someone like you." -- Bridget

"If I can start a cult, anyone can." -- Jayne to the group

"So Bleys is sending us halfway around the world to find his missing naughty cards?" -- Lorianne to the group

"What's better than a volcano? A fault line." -- J.P. Brannan to the group, after learning that the group is going to the west coast of North America

"I ask Bleys for a list of his girlfriends' names." -- Jayne
"He gives you a really odd look." -- GM
"I need them for my ship." -- Jayne

"I don't have a blow-up Bleys, I just have a picture." -- Jayne to the group

"We're going to fight some savages. They have something very important of Lord Bleys'." -- Jayne to her Sharks
"Yeah, his naughty cards." -- Lorianne

"Who wants to die today?!" -- Jayne to her Sharks
"The Sharks who are rolling their eyes at this speech? I recruit them." -- Lorianne to GM

"And here's something your father didn't learn - how to duck." -- J.P. Brannan, speaking for Jayne on what she teaches the children of her dead Sharks

"I thought we were investigating the savages, not becoming them." -- Cyrano to the group, after half of them take up face painting

"I speak savage. I don't know if I speak the right savage, but...." -- Jeffery to the group

"Captain Wesley's cult has a band." -- Yves
"Aren't they with him in the Congo?" -- Lorianne
"No, they're here for when he gets back. It's a surprise." -- Yves

"I could disguise myself as Captain Wesley (to get Yves' attention)." -- Bridget to the group
"This group is all about the wrong kind of love." -- Kris Fazzari

"I've had goldfish last way longer than the Sharks." -- Jeffery to the group

"Jayne lost six (Sharks) to friendly fire?" -- Kris Fazzari
"But only one was eaten." -- GM

"Look, when your people eat my guy, I come in bitching." -- Jayne to Jeffery

"And we practice body painting for fun, for relaxing." -- Jayne to the group

"Two more Sharks are swept overboard." -- GM
"We're down to 19." -- Robyn
"That's still more than I've ever had before." -- Jayne

"The ceremony for saying goodbye to the Sharks is, 'Oops, there goes another one. Slap another name on the cannons.'" -- Edwin Voskamp to the group

"Can't we just bomb the village from here?" -- Zoe
"That would destroy the dirty picture cards." -- the group

"No sign of savages. They're civilized." -- The Spider
"Do they have tea?" -- Lorianne

"Let me run through this one more time, just so I'm sure I understand what's going on." -- GM
"Why? No one else does." -- Kris Fazzari

"Safety is our number one concern." -- Jayne
"It is?!?" -- the group

"So (the dead men) are all wearing a gray, denim loincloth?" -- Kris Fazzari
"That would chafe." -- Liz Trumitch
"You don't know that they're going commando. Maybe there's an underloincloth." -- Bill Gulstad

"Cutting the underwear of the genitals of dead men disturbs (Jayne)." -- Liz Trumitch to the group

"If we get rid of the first 100 planes, we'll be fine." -- Jeffery to the group, whose own airplanes number six

"(Ewan's) his own personal Mountain Dew commercial." -- GM
"Except when he's at sea." -- Jenn Woelke
"Dew the Spew." -- GM

"So (Robyn) has to light hers, but (Jayne's) are silent but deadly." -- J.P Brannan to the group, talking about flaming arrows

"I'd be enjoying this a lot more if my ship weren't on fire." -- Lorianne to the group

"Ewan has (an) insane aviation (stat)." -- Kris Fazzari
"A few more points and he can fly without a plane." -- Edwin Voskamp

"I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, which I'm pretty good at, because I do it all the time." -- Jayne to GM

"They attacked us without provocation." -- Kris Fazzari
"And the Guard has never attacked anyone without provocation." -- GM
"I don't think there's anyone alive who can testify against the Guard." -- Edwin Voskamp

"Whatever you do, don't miss your own propeller. I mean hit your own propeller." -- GM to Zoe

"Playing Favorites" by D.J. Quinn

It's Sunday morning. You're tired. You've been gaming for sixty hours, minus about three hours for sleep. All you can talk about is the kickin' version of Brand you played in slot 3. So, relive the glory. Get together with half a dozen other people and play all those memorable characters one more time.

Sure, there'll be a plot. Something to do with the universe and Shadow and threats to all existence. But that's nothing compared to reliving the glory of slot 3.

"Squee, son of 'They're tall and they scare me.'" -- GM to the group

"You got Jack Daniels?" -- Charlie
"No, is he sexy?" -- Bleys

"I need the bong." - Amarís
"And I'm here for you." - The Bong

"Take me to where I can please Grandpa." -- Cayle to ?

"So Amarís and Charlie are finally in Bleys' pants." -- Matt Andrews to the group

"Everyone knows what to do with an unbreakable toy." -- Matt Andrews
"Apparently in this case, smoke it." -- Rick Garman

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

  Hellriders have passed through here since October 3, 2002.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the AmberCon North 2002 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself and BriAnne Searles.

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.